Malcolm Robinson Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 > SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour.> > COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some> milk.> > FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.> > BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks> the other, and then throws the milk away.> > TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a> bull.Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and> retire on the income.> > SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take> harmonica lessons.> > AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the> other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to> analyze why the cow has dropped dead.> > ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell> three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit> opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity> swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows> back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows> are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly> owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows> back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns> eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new> president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance> sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull.> > A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike, organize a> riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.> > A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are> one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.> You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market> it worldwide.> > A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they> live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.> > AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they> are. You decide to have lunch.> > A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you> have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You> count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and> open another bottle of vodka.> > A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You> charge the owners for storing them.> > A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking> them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine> productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.> > AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.> > A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.> > AN IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell> them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the crap out> of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least you> are now a Democracy..> > AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. Business seems pretty> good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.> > A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks> very attractive(Sorry HP couldn't help it!)
Malcolm Robinson Posted June 9, 2009 Author Posted June 9, 2009 Monsta said: do you take medication for that? Yeah but it's not working!
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