Understanding Economic Models

[Malcolm Robinson]

> SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour.

>

> COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some

> milk.

>

> FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

>

> BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks

> the other, and then throws the milk away.

>

> TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a

> bull.Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and

> retire on the income.

>

> SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take

> harmonica lessons.

>

> AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the

> other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to

> analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

>

> ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell

> three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit

> opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity

> swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows

> back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows

> are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly

> owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows

> back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns

> eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new

> president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance

> sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull.

>

> A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike, organize a

> riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

>

> A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are

> one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

> You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market

> it worldwide.

>

> A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they

> live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

>

> AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they

> are. You decide to have lunch.

>

> A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you

> have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You

> count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and

> open another bottle of vodka.

>

> A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You

> charge the owners for storing them.

>

> A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking

> them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine

> productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

>

> AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.

>

> A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.

>

> AN IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell

> them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the crap out

> of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least you

> are now a Democracy..

>

> AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. Business seems pretty

> good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

>

> A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks

> very attractive

(Sorry HP couldn't help it!)

[Monsta®]

do you take medication for that?

[Malcolm Robinson]

do you take medication for that?

Yeah but it's not working!