I have been gifted a wonderful book by a good friend, and it turns out to be the best book I have read in a long, long time. In fact, it's better even than the recently acquired 'Crap Taxidermy' - a head-turner in every way - and even outstrips 'Haggard Hawks and Paltry Poltroons', a thorough treatise on the origins of words. No, the winner is a fine tome named 'How to Sharpen Pencils' by David Rees, and it is simply astonishing in its breadth. So far I have learned the merits of different types of pencil sharpener (electric ones are evil and must be destroyed) and the injuries that can be sustained if exposed to incorrectly sharpened pencils. Also, I now know the correct warm-up exercises that must be carried out pre-sharpening. It is, I have to say, a masterpiece. And it makes a point.

I think Keswick has a pencil museum.

Writing a book on how to sharpen the pencil is quite a task.

It even 'makes a point'.

You must have had a good birthday.

I'm addicted to pencil use ... I even have a short stubby one in my wallet for emergency note taking.  Somewhere in my attic I have a sample box (a thin tin thing) showing the various stages in making a pencil, starting with a block of routed wood and going through all the processes to the finished item;  I'll have a look for it this weekend and take a photo to post here.  It might interest somebody.  Also up there is my very first box of coloured pencils (half-length Derwents) bought for 1 shilling & 6 pence from the Geography teacher at Westridge in 1963 ... he used to sell these so we could colour our maps.  I currently use an industrial razor blade to sharpen my tips.

"I think Keswick has a pencil museum."

 

Indeed it does, and it is hailed in the book as 'probably the most important pencil museum in the world...

 

"Writing a book on how to sharpen the pencil is quite a task."

 

Yes indeed, and to fill 218 pages, each of which is as funny as the previous, is even more so. Seriously, it's very, very funny, and well worth a read.