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Christmas

Denzel

By Denzel
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Denzel

Denzel

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Posted

Well folks, I don't know about you, but I'm feeling particularly festive; it's not long until Santa will be popping down my chimney and (hopefully) leaving me a bumper crop of quality gifts.

But this year I haven't asked for a Lamborghini, and instead have opted for a more esoteric item, ie a mandolin (for chopping vegetables with, I haven't joined The Waterboys).

What gifts have the good folks of Bedlingtonshire requested then?

Dave

Dave

Posted
Posted
Well folks, I don't know about you, but I'm feeling particularly festive; it's not long until Santa will be popping down my chimney and (hopefully) leaving me a bumper crop of quality gifts.

But this year I haven't asked for a Lamborghini, and instead have opted for a more esoteric item, ie a mandolin (for chopping vegetables with, I haven't joined The Waterboys).

What gifts have the good folks of Bedlingtonshire requested then?

some !*!@# pants and socks ...... that way im never disappointed

Mr Darn

Mr Darn

Posted
Posted

i was asked by my parents what i wanted for christmas this year, i promptly answered 'an electric razor, i always wanted one' to which she replied something along the lines of:

'you can go and *&$% yourself, you'll be getting socks like last year! their £50 those you know, you think i'm made of money, now go make me a cuppa you lazy little halfbread, i dont know, kids these days....'

and ranted on past the kettle boiling, thru the tea making process and had drank half before coming up for air.

the moral? if anyone asks, ask for socks!

Denzel

Denzel

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Well folks, I don't know about you, but I'm feeling particularly festive; it's not long until Santa will be popping down my chimney and (hopefully) leaving me a bumper crop of quality gifts.

But this year I haven't asked for a Lamborghini, and instead have opted for a more esoteric item, ie a mandolin (for chopping vegetables with, I haven't joined The Waterboys).

What gifts have the good folks of Bedlingtonshire requested then?

Just realised, it is, of course, 'chimerlee', as per !*!@# van Dyke. Apologies all round.

threegee

threegee

Posted
Posted

Earlier discussion on mice set me thinking how very long I've had my trusty optical Logi Mouse. Although it's still working just fine I decided to have a look at state-of-the-art rodents. Perusing the Logitech website I learned that "optical is obsolete" and that with a MX1000 my "computing experience will never be the same".

Now, being a s-o-t-a sort of person, this was just too difficult a proposition to resist. Santa has therefore been instructed to gimme!

Here (for your envy) are the links:

http://www.logitech.com/index.cfm/products...,CONTENTID=9043

http://www.logitech.com/index.cfm/products...GB/EN,CRID=2090

Warning: Do not all rush at once to replace your pathetically outdated optical mice with this curvaceous beastie - yes, even the many Bedlingtonians long known to have "tricky polished or wood-grain surfaces". The resulting laser display over Bedders could seriously detract from all those magnificent Christmas lights on the Front Street!

BTW it is widely rumoured that this device actually started life as a design for a contactless, ever-sharp, electric razor - until the unfortunate series of accidents! So, it is not recommended that even the electric-razorless persons here continue to experiment with one along those lines, however appealing the convenience of a dual-usage mouse/razor may be.

bedlington bears

bedlington bears

Posted
Posted

You're all very lucky in that, unlike me, you haven't got 60 children to buy for. For myself, I'm asking Santa for Tom Waites CDs and the entire collection of Futurama DVDs.

Joe Rooney

Joe Rooney

Posted
Posted
Sixty kids?

Do you live in a shoe by any chance?

;)

I have seven kids, and twelve grandkids, and thats more than enough!

It is only on one of my bad days that they feel like sixty. Come to think of it, there are days when anyone the four youngest grandkids can feel like "SIXTY".

BAH HUMBUG!!!!

Joe

bedlington bears

bedlington bears

Posted
Posted
I have seven kids, and twelve grandkids, and thats more than enough!

It is only on one of my bad days that they feel like sixty. Come to think of it, there are days when anyone the four youngest grandkids can feel like "SIXTY".

BAH HUMBUG!!!!

Joe

I just KNEW somebody would mention the shoe Joe. They're not actually mine, they come to my children's day nursery. I've only actually got one myself but he's 17 and he's driving me bonkers at the minute because he's just bought a full set of drums. He's at it right now. The thing is, he's never played before, anybody walking past our house will think we're having building work done in the attic!

Joe Rooney

Joe Rooney

Posted
Posted
I just KNEW somebody would mention the shoe Joe. They're not actually mine, they come to my children's day nursery. I've only actually got one myself but he's 17 and he's driving me bonkers at the minute because he's just bought a full set of drums. He's at it right now. The thing is, he's never played before, anybody walking past our house will think we're having building work done in the attic!

Hi BB,

I figured from your comments that they were your childcare group. That has to be self induced agony, looking after 60 of someone elses little dears!

Unless of course you were breeding rabbits, then 60 would sound reasonable!

Regards, Joe

Don't you have an old coal shed to put the boy in?

Regards, Joe

Denzel

Denzel

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I'm asking for a penis reduction

Mrs PN is strongly against the idea :(

I was under the impression the operation had already been carried out and was a roaring success?

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