Denzel

Yes, all the shit pubs, barbers, takeaways, tattoo parlours and supermarkets have made Bedlington the place to be when it comes to Northumberland 'villages'. Step aside Bamburgh, there's a new kid in town. (I mean village).

'Villagey'?!

Who's seeing it in with a pint tomorrow?

Because Adam needed his loincloth washed.

I must remember to start turning up for this.

Always wet your toothbrush folks.

Aye, I've only got 6,000 bog rolls left.

Has Tesco shut like?

I'm surprised no-one's complained yet.

They were poor yesterday mind. Relegation fodder.

I go to the Head Shed for a beard trim, they even pulled the hairs out of my bugle last week.

Right on, brother.

Any chance you can embellish on this please @Malcolm Robinson? I didn't vote for you by the way.

Dont worry @Eggy1948, I'll endeavour to do my best. I'll probably start in the time-honoured tradition with some serious door-canvassing around the Red House Farm area.

Or get to run for mayor of Bedlington.