Northumberland cancer patient 'has to travel 170 miles' for treatment, despite living near 'state-of-the-art' facility

Hey Ian!  There's a mind-numbingly simple solution to your constituent's problem.  So simple that even a Labour MP couldn't miss it if they really wanted to facilitate "change" (you know, that nebulous thing that Two-tier is always going on about!)

Here's what you do: you go shopping for a rubber boat, the flimsier and cheaper the better!  Then you drive your poor constituent down to the channel coast, inflate it and put this poor guy in it.  You only need to push him a few hundred feet out to sea, and simply abandon him.  Maybe hand him a letter to hand to the first human rights lawyer he comes across pointing out how his right to unlimited UK resources for his medical condition are being violated - a mere detail, but you get the idea?  Before you completely abandon him, make sure he knows to pretend he can't understand the local lingo - hardly a challenge for a Geordie in Kent - and keep repeating "I asylum seek", until he's put up in the mandatory five-star accommodation!  Starmer's legal buddies will take care of all the rest for you.

Just go for it! The resulting publicity could improve your dire re-election prospects like nothing else could!  All those worries about having to get a real job soon could be at an end!

Hi Ian...don't know why I am wasting my time addressing you,since the last time I came to your office a few years ago..desperately seeking help and explaining how my Wife's family and myself were going through a very traumatic time ..my Wife's Mother was terminally ill in hospital..[and later died]..and when I came to you for help on a separate issue,you didn't even look at me but kept talking to your union cronies..and virtually ignored me..I remember walking out of your office in disgust saying I would never ask for your help ever again.Well well well! When this Building was in the process of surveying the land,I started taking photo's and videos,and I continued to do that every few days..right through from drilling for the reinforced concrete underpinning,laying the foundations,every step of building the carcass..till the day came when the arrival of the multi-million pound CYCLOTRON was announced on national television and all the tabloids covered it.SO!..away I went with my trusty old video camera and stills camera..and as the CYCLOTRON was hoisted high in the air on a crane rope,and lowered into the building through the roof..the television cameras were there...and so were you,along with a dozen "dignitaries"..chains of office glittering in the sunlight...and SO WAS I!!..NOW!!...from that day on there was not ONE word mentioned about the progress of the installation and commissioning of the CYCLOTRON....NOT ONE WORD THAT I EVER SAW OR HEARD!!..as time went by,many months...still nothing..except we had power cuts sometimes three and four times a week..unexplained...when I contacted the electricity company they said there was nothing wrong with their systems and that I could have a faulty meter..I told them it was a recent new digital meter,and that I suspected the outages were from the new Proton Beam unit attempting to power up and drawing too much current for the grid to handle.I was laughed at...then an employee of the energy company told me they couldn't get it up and running because it needed too much current to operate it,and that a new set of pylons carrying dedicated overhead power lines from the Switch house at Cambois,would have to be laid...but there were disputes between the landowners and the owners of the Rutherford Centre about the cost of all this....The pylons never got erected..no power lines...then the hospital closed down.Since it closed down in 2022,WE HAVE NEVER HAD ONE POWER CUT!!..Now,Mr Lavery,would you tell me honestly[massive request..not impossible..but highly improbable!!]....HAS ANYONE EVER HAD TREATMENT FROM THAT PROTON BEAM THERAPY UNIT..NOT CHEMO OR NORMAL RADIO..BUT PROTON BEAM,AS IT WAS HEAVILY APPLAUDED AS BEING A MIRACLE TREATMENT!!!...I AM SURE AFTER ALL THE HULLABALLOO WHEN IT WAS INSTALLED...THAT THERE WOULD HAVE BEEN MASSIVE NATIONAL TELEVISION COVERAGE OF THE SUCCESS OF THIS TREATMENT..SEEING AS IT TOOK A COUPLE BEING PROSECUTED FOR TAKING THEIR CHILD OUT OF HOSPITAL HERE,TO ANOTHER COUNTRY FOR TREATMENT..TO SPUR OUR GOVERNMENT TO HAVE OUR OWN HOSPITALS...AND NOW IT STANDS MOTHBALLED...ABOUT £50 MILLION POUNDS IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY....[BUT I STAND TO BE CORRECTED ON THAT ONE!!]

SO!!...Mr Lavery,WHY has this hospital been standing mothballed for three years?....where have you been...has it took poor Harry to wake you up to try and get some answers?

I told the Architect outside my house that he was an idiot..he just laughed and we chatted,but he asked why I thought he was an idiot........I said well only an idiot would choose to build a new Hospital using NUCLEAR facilities on land where I personally was involved in extracting coal beneath the very spot where the hospital was being built,[in the 1960's],and that there are six scrapyards [burning tyres and complete cars through the night!]...two household waste recycling plants,and a coal merchants..just a few hundred yards away over the fields..I also asked why they didn't build this hospital next to the Cramlington new hospital..he waffled like a politician,and said this was the best,most favourable site we could find!![the field is heavily subsided due to coalming over the past hundred years!!!]...well I told him my opinion..and that was "Damage Limitation"...and I leave it there for you to ponder over!!

p.s.If anything dangerous ever happened on that site ...I have a lovely portfolio of hundreds of photo's  and video's..I have been laughed at before..but every dog has it's day!!