Symptoms

Hang on a minute ... we can't have huge tracts of Northumberland desecrated just because Adam gets stuck behind a tractor towing a slurry trailer. Yep, the top Jockos might be based in the East but they let the train/plane take the strain; they're unlikely to drive-up in their chauffeur driven Bentleys in sufficient numbers to warrant destroying the landscape.

"Peanuts. Tanner a bag. Peanuts." That's what the nut gadgies would yell. The tanners chucked onto the pitch and a 'twist' bag of nuts would be accurately throw to you. We used the nuts as ammo to chuck down at blokes with bald heads. Oh what fun.

Paul Jones, on his Radio 2 Monday night Blues show, will be doing a tribute to Jack. Set your dials on Monday 1st December at 7pm.

A more important question. Why is Tracy trying to squeeze into a skirt that is plainly two sizes too small for her?

There isn't enough freight traffic currently using the road to warrant an upgrade. The industrial heart of Jockoland is in the West so most stuff goes up the M6.

Ja! Zee Tommy Kammarooon vill be duffed-upen inzee Dunkirk by Frau Gruppenführer Merkel.

Merc ... I realise that we didn't have booms back then, I was just taking a poke at the current litigatious culture and the silly need for managers/bosses to always say sorry. I think there was another sortie to intercept a Badger that Ivan had sent over midweek ... they frightened him off over the North Sea.

Let's not forget that Offical Inquiry into the Dunblane Massacre ... the report was 'sealed' for 100 years. Why was it sealed? Various leaks over the years point to very influential men linked to scout leader Thomas Hamilton and a peadophile ring. So, the lesson is ... if the ruling elite are in anyway at fault or involved then a cover up will follow.

Another attraction at the Picnic Shows was the Wall of Death ... just been reminded of it by this segment of the Beebwebsite today. Like in this film punters would be invited to ride pillion on the bikes. Happy days! http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-29861511

Never mind about that Euro debt, reports in The Guardian today say that we're still paying off the South Sea Bubble Debt from 1720, the Napoleonic and Crimean wars and the Irish potato famine debts. Also listed are the debts still owing due to the Slavery Abolition Act of 1835 and the borrowings from the big 1914 - 1918 bunfight with Fritz. http://www.theguardian.com/business/2014/oct/31/uk-first-world-war-bonds-redeemed

Another supersonic scramble to intercept flying baddies perhaps? Closely followed by a 'top brass' apology for the sonic booms. Churchill wouldn't have countenanced that sort of behaviour from Harris or Leigh-Mallory during that last bunfight with the Bosch.

GGG - what did you mean by "- he can't even act like a good Jew -" ? It's a phrase that can have a number of meanings. You're could be right about the Jockosnats and UKIP holding sway after the GE. I can picture that useless sod Millleeeeeband cozying up to the Jockos and Cameroooony (if he's still in place) doing the same with Nigel so we can all look forward to the scourge of more coalitian government.

I mentioned its new use on another thread here; it's being converted into a halfway house for ex-offenders.

Oh no! Nigel and heartbeat away from the nuke codes.

I was (am) a bonkers Cream fan and have been playing albums this pm ... I didn't have to search mine out - they were stacked in pride of place with the rest of my music. Some years ago I bought the complete set of Cream's catalogue on CD simply to save wear & tear on the my vinyl collection*. I was lucky enough to get two tickets to see the reunion concert at the Albert Hall in 2005; I've seen the film of the '68 farewell concert and the reunion was almost an exact copy ... none of them had lost any power in their playing or singing during the intervening period. Jack's voice was especially vibrant. I did see Jack when he was with Tony William's Lifetime at a gig at Goldsmith's College in London in 1970. *point of interest my copy of Goodbye Cream was damaged by me in 1970 ... a tiny fragment of hot resin dropped from a joint I was toaking and landed on the LP melting into one groove. Whenever I play the LP the stylus jumps at that spot reminding me of that party that night ... it always brings back fond memories of the debauchery suffered by me in London. Have a look here for a snippet of Jack playing at that Albert Hall '68 concert: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-29773799

Just heard the breaking news that legendary bass player Jack Bruce has died. One of my ultimate heroes.

GGG wrote: "It doesn't make a scrap of difference if you vote either Labour or Tory ...". Quite right! The only solution is for the Yankee Boss to dragoon all the G8 Bosses into the Oval Office and threaten them all with publication of their secret CIA files unless they cancel ALL debt; then the World can start afresh. If the bosses of all the hedgefunds/banks kick-up then they too can be threatened with exposure; these guys can always make-up any losses next time around. You see, Wise Old Sym has the solution. Oh, and all that daft lecturn thumping bluster from Cameroooony yesterday is all bollocks ... he's an impotent tosser.

I'm looking for my old school mate Terry Hauxwell, he'd be 63 now and he and his family lived in the Hartlands. When I last saw him he'd just joined the army and came around to my house in his uniform ... it was either 1967 or 69. He had a younger sister whose name I can't recall and who, I was told years ago, married a local lad whose surname might have been Angus. I've done all the usual online searches for Terry but can't find him. So any help finding him would be great.

Tony, I was just being cheeky with the "cabin boy" reference ... images of Captain Pugwash's cabin boy Tom (you're old enough, I guess, to remember this telly cartoon).

Never mind the bands, what about the long lost Forum members; where are they now? Pete, Hamburger Pimp, Cympil, and my old sparring partner Monsta.

That Canterbury tipple could well have been a Shepherd Neame* brew ...maybe Master Brew. Back when you were a MN cabin boy most booze available nationwide was keg muck so palettes weren't used to cask ales (real ale), maybe that's why you squirmed. The UKIP Daddy likes a drop of their stuff. *They had/have lots and lots of Kent boozers being the local brewery.

Tonp wrote: "... just sees a bunch of gullible people wanting to spend hard earned cash ...". A charge that can be levelled at most business owners.

"Ate nowt" was a very old joke about a mackem result from donkeys years ago ... it was trawled-up from the dark recesses of my addled brain and I just couldn't help sharing it with everybody here. No need to dragoon our 'in house' lingo expert Canny. Wise old Sym often likes a play on words, in this case indicative past tense or even subjunctive imperfect mixed with a local dialect adverb or pronoun word. Yep, I could have written 8 - 0 but where's the fun in that ... apart from us Toon supporters basking in the continuing discomfort of the inbreds cowering in that tin shed on the banks of that rancid Wear gutter. Plenty more from where that came from

Followed by Wing Commander Symptoms in his Spitfire. Brave Symptoms had just returned from a straffing mission over the City of Southampton in support of our brave allies 'The Saints'. The mission was a total success as the axismackem forces of evil were routed. Earlier reports suggested that the axismackem ate nowt for their lunch (get it?).

Some oldies here might like to be reminded of the vibrant music scene in the NE back in the 60s & 70s. You can mine down using the Venue menu for the likes of the Rex Hotel in Whitley Bay, ditto the Clubs in the Toon. Also he's got a comprehesive list of acts with dates, etc. For our younger viewers ... just look what you missed-out on. Have a look at Roger's blog here: http://www.readysteadygone.co.uk/