Doomsday

[keith lockey]

Okay folks, D Day is getting closer, so let's all have a huddle and work out how we can save Bedlington from the Mayan Prophecy.

How about we all decamp to one of the town's pub cellars and live off beer and lager and wine until the cosmic catastrophe is over. We should maybe take a couple of packets of salted peanuts to sustain us as well. In fact we could connect all the pubs' cellars via a network of tunnels - I hear Mercuryg is already working on such a project. How is it going, Merc'? I believe you have connected the Red Lion, Wharton and Ridge Farm using only a garden trowel. Or maybe we could hire the Raisbeck bus to take us to this place...

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4678062/Sun-visits-Bugarach-ahead-of-Mayan-Apocalypse-prediction.html

[Adam Hogg]

Okay folks, D Day is getting closer, so let's all have a huddle and work out how we can save Bedlington from the Mayan Prophecy.

How about we all decamp to one of the town's pub cellars and live off beer and lager and wine until the cosmic catastrophe is over. We should maybe take a couple of packets of salted peanuts to sustain us as well. In fact we could connect all the pubs' cellars via a network of tunnels - I hear Mercuryg is already working on such a project. How is it going, Merc'? I believe you have connected the Red Lion, Wharton and Ridge Farm using only a garden trowel. Or maybe we could hire the Raisbeck bus to take us to this place...

http://www.thesun.co...prediction.html

The pubs are already connected by a thing called Dr. Pit Colliery workings which im digging into

[keith lockey]

Here's some helpers Adam.

[mercuryg]

Okay folks, D Day is getting closer, so let's all have a huddle and work out how we can save Bedlington from the Mayan Prophecy.

How about we all decamp to one of the town's pub cellars and live off beer and lager and wine until the cosmic catastrophe is over. We should maybe take a couple of packets of salted peanuts to sustain us as well. In fact we could connect all the pubs' cellars via a network of tunnels - I hear Mercuryg is already working on such a project. How is it going, Merc'? I believe you have connected the Red Lion, Wharton and Ridge Farm using only a garden trowel. Or maybe we could hire the Raisbeck bus to take us to this place...

http://www.thesun.co...prediction.html

Well Keith, you are quite right, but I must confess to having had to use a garden spade rather than a trowel. I have three tunnels on the go:'Tom' connects the Lion to the Wharton, and is quite advanced; 'Dick' is the planned route from the Lion to the Blue Bell, but may have to be abandoned as we are not sure if there is any beer in the 'Bell, and 'Harry' is a complex system that will hopefully link the Sun Inn, Market Tavern and Grapes to my headquarters at Table 25, the Red Lion. It's dirty work, but someone's got to do it.

[keith lockey]

I hear it's a labour of love, Merc', or at least it will be when mission is accomplished, but be aware you are working in a time frame here. 21st is just round the bend and there is just so much prep work to do before the big sup. Now are we dressing formally for the big event or is it just casual wear? I was thinking of fancy dress myself, a Yosemite Sam outfit or maybe Thor. By the way, they will probably make a film after the apocalypse and it will be called Table 25. I can see Brad playing me, obviously, Bruce Willis playing Malcolm Robinson, George Clooney has signed up as Adam Hogg. how do you feel about Tom Cruise as your character?

Edited December 4, 2012 by keith lockey

[mercuryg]

Keith, I would prefer someone more distinguished; I have been told I bear a striking resemblance to both Richard Gere and Charles Hawtrey.

[Malcolm Robinson]

Now Keef2 you have just gone plum silly.............how can there be film making after the apocalypse?

The Four Horsemen out of Revelations are getting saddled up too!

[keith lockey]

Easy peasy, Malcolm, the super-heroes of Table 25 invent a time-machine in the eleventh hour. (Last Orders) We go back to when the comet / meteor / asteroid / haemorroid gets shunted off course by the dark denizens of Nibiru. We land on said doomsday pebble and shunt it back into the path of Nibiru using flatulence from the twenty pints of beer - lager that we had at Table 25. The lizard men are destroyed and the world is saved and we become super-heroes and have to wear fancy costumes and pink tights.

I marry Kylie Minogue and we have 25 children.

Hollywood decides to make a film of our heroics and the rest is history. (Mind you I think I would prefer Robert Redford playing my part - but in his Sundance days. You must admit there is a striking resemblance...nurse, what are you doing with that syringe?)

[mercuryg]

There is something in this; see, Table 25, I am convinced, is a portal to another dimension. You can tell because, if you are to walk into the Red Lion at around nine o'clock on a weekday morning, it is entirely occupied by beings who are clearly from a different world. These are creatures who can indulge in strong lager, real ale and double brandies from 9am, and still be there at three. Then, in an instant, they're gone, just like that. Believe me, I've witnessed it. It is remarkable.

[Malcolm Robinson]

Super heroes of Table 25, I'm in...........

Can Wor Lass join too................

[keith lockey]

There is something in this; see, Table 25, I am convinced, is a portal to another dimension. You can tell because, if you are to walk into the Red Lion at around nine o'clock on a weekday morning, it is entirely occupied by beings who are clearly from a different world. These are creatures who can indulge in strong lager, real ale and double brandies from 9am, and still be there at three. Then, in an instant, they're gone, just like that. Believe me, I've witnessed it. It is remarkable.

It's the same at Newcastle; there are two bars - the Goose and Three Bulls (Maybe wrong on second one). You can walk by at 10am and they are full of people - men and women - who are sitting reading newspapers and drinking alcohol. Now maybe you are right with the dimensional thing; maybe it is 9pm or 10pm on their world so it is perfectly normal. And Merc', with regards to them disappearing in an instant I would suggest you look under the tables. But enough of this frippery, I have a Tardis to assemble - just got it from Ikea - with this I will go back in time and save the world from disaster on the 21st. Fear not Bedlingtonians, if i can't save the world then i will cloak Bedlington in a protective bubble and whisk you to another dimension where we can live live as it is...er was...er will be...whatever. Klaatu berata niktu.

[keith lockey]

Super heroes of Table 25, I'm in...........

Can Wor Lass join too................

Malcolm, you've just found the future Mrs Lockey, who is she? where is she? How many babies does she want?

[mercuryg]

Super heroes of Table 25, I'm in...........

Can Wor Lass join too................

No problem; there's a two quid sub.

[John Fox (foxy)]

Not much Decorating being done today lads !!!

[keith lockey]

Not much Decorating being done today lads !!!

Decorating!! Decorating!! You think of decorating at a time like this. Global catastrophe looms on the horizon; the end of the world as we know it; civilization in all its dubious glory crashing to an end and all you can think of is me up a ladder putting two coats of crushed pearl on my bedroom ceiling!!!

Pulleese!

Obviously there are those in this community who do not take this serious so I am going to have to take command and lead a task force of stout (brave not fat) Bedlingtonians into the field. So how about Saturday night we all meet down at the picnic field at midnight wearing pixie costumes and dance to the moon goddess....what's that Merc', you do that every saturday night!! Okay then let's meet at Attlle Park dressed as the Avengers...

No no no, not those ones, the other ones

I can be Thor, Merc' can be Captain America; Malcolm can be Ironing Man; Adam can be the Hulk. Keith 1 can be Hawkeye the noo and Foxy can be...er...what are you like in a dress Foxy?

We'll have to have a war cry; how about Aggadoo do do...

Edited December 4, 2012 by keith lockey

[Malcolm Robinson]

No prob............

[keith lockey]

That's the spirit, Malcolm, we'll fight them on the beaches, in the kitchen and at the postub.

And our new war cry will be "Dashing away with the smoothing iron..."

All together now...

[Adam Hogg]

I can be Thor, Merc' can be Captain America; Malcolm can be Ironing Man; Adam can be the Hulk. Keith 1 can be Hawkeye the noo and Foxy can be...er...what are you like in a dress Foxy?

If James Bond is in the Avengers i will be him instead of the Hulk, gives me a chance with Vesper.

[keith lockey]

If James Bond is in the Avengers i will be him instead of the Hulk, gives me a chance with Vesper.

So you like riding a scooter. (er vesper - vespa????)

[Malcolm Robinson]

Been onto Erdogan and if he gets them he will send us some Patriots too.........................????

[Adam Hogg]

So you like riding a scooter. (er vesper - vespa????)

Should have worded that differently, shouldn't I?

[mercuryg]

I gave up the pixie bit years ago, it was becoming so old hat. I now imbibe in several pints of Hobgoblin (now a permanent fixture at the Red Lion, note, and well worth a try (that plug cost you a pint, Mark the Manager)) and ride naked down the street on a unicycle.

[keith lockey]

Planet X must be asserting its influence on my Hyundai 1200 watt halogen heater - the power button 'pinged' and now it wont work. Either that or there really are electric demons in the ether.

[mercuryg]

Planet X must be asserting its influence on my Hyundai 1200 watt halogen heater - the power button 'pinged' and now it wont work. Either that or there really are electric demons in the ether.

I am a frequent visitor to a UFO forum (yes, yes, I know, but I have an interest in these things) and am quite certain that one regular contributor there would tell you, quite seriously, that you have been visited by inter-dimensional beings.

[keith lockey]

I am a frequent visitor to a UFO forum (yes, yes, I know, but I have an interest in these things) and am quite certain that one regular contributor there would tell you, quite seriously, that you have been visited by inter-dimensional beings.

I'm never off the UFO sites, most are rubbish but every now and again you get a good un'. I saw one the other day about 'rods'. It turned out to be moths and camera abberations. Into chem' trails at mo.