Wonkys Dilema

[wonky]

well..where do i start with this one ?..there is this guy i work with in the factory. he is a real nasty piece of work. lets call him gerry the racist for the sake of things..i have known and worked with the bloke for at least eight to ten years and can honestly say i have never heard him say a good thing about anyone. putting it bluntly he is probably the foulest person that ever walked the earth..he is rotten to the core and i am certain that if such a place as heaven exists there will be no forgivness in his case and he will probably be joining me in the other place ,for my sins.

for years i have endured his taunts about how i am a tan and a brit.how my relatives ruined his country , how the brits are no difrent from the blacks and much worse ..belive me..some of the filth that comes out this guys mouth makes me uncomftable even thinking about repeating it ..

he acts so hard in front of his pals,,all football and hurling talk..boxing,rugby..all man sports he says..any one like wonky who rides a bike and watches bikes going round a track is a softee...and so on...usually i just put up and shut up and laugh at him rather than with him. hes all talk and on the few ocasions i have asked him out in to the carpark hes always refused and told me to take a joke..

WELL..the boot is on the other foot now..

last week end my nephew came over to cork for a weekend,,do some shopping and sightseeing and catch up with uncle wonky..my nephew is gay. thats gay with a capital G..so gay he makes alan carr sound like a builder..now..wonky himself is not in any way homophobic even though i do like a gay joke or too but thats probably been from listening to the likes of chubby and bernard as a young fella..anyways..with out waffeling on..we all went out for a meal and a few beers in the city last friday..my nephew was pointed in the direction of loafers,the local gay bar and we arranged to meet him at said bar @ midnight before they lock the doors...

yep..sure enough..in the door and was greeted by the hardest,nastiest lunatic in ireland pawing at my nephew all full of sexyness..he was mortified..it was the first time i had ever seen him speechless..he was stuttering..i was absoulutly stone cold sober(designated driver).and if i may be a little crude..i actually let out a little wee..i had to go to the toilet to compose myself..on my return to my company i was greeted by my racist colleauge in a new light..he was shaking..he was speechless..he was shaking so bad and was so nervous he actually lit a cigarette in the bar..(i really wanted to say fag but it would have been inappropriate)lol

so..i introduced him properly to my nephew as gerry the racist and went on to explain that i was quite comftable in my surroundings and that gay people are no diferent to english people really..i then went on to tell him that even though he was a complete and utter bas##rd i would keep his dirty little secret to myself and gave my word that i would not tell his pals at work what he gets up to..

next thing i know gerry the racist is buying the drinks for all of us..i declined the stout he had bought me and i explained that ..eventhough i am not drinking beer in a gay bar on a friday night dont mean i am planning on coming out with you next week and it defnitly dosnt mean i want to be your friend..it means i dont want a drink as i am driving home as a sensible englishman living abroad should..

next thing hes got his arm roond my neck telling me that hes always liked me and that all the nasty things he says is just an act and that deep down inside i have always known and thats why i have never give him a good kicking...he was telling me how at work i was so popular with the lads he was jealous of me and was competing for attension...

you know when your sober and your listening to this tripe , and your temper is starting to boil a little more...well..i had to switch off the gas and close the night down..good bye and off home in the car..laughing all the way.

the last week at work has been pure hell..there hasnt been a single racist remark ,,hardly a word..the guy is on the verge of a nervous breakdown..some of the other lads have noticed that somthing is wiffy and are starting to speculate..some guys recon he is about to top himself or shoot sombody hes so edgy..someone said he was on tablets from the doctor for his nerves..i feel absoloutly terrible about it..and would love to give him a big hug..not that thats going to happen..lol

if i was to tell the lads at work this it would slay them..they would finish him off for good to be sure,to be sure..sadly thats the type of guys i work with..one guys son commited suicide a few years ago and they are still banging on about how he didnt pay his tea money and still owed for two scones..

one things for certain..i aint going to loafers again in a hurry..any advice apreceated..oh dear..

[Malcolm Robinson]

Publish and be dammed young man!

[Maggie/915]

Wonky this is a moral tale for our time.

Something like 'Judge not or you maybe Judged'

The guy's biggest problem is he has to live with himself.

[Malcolm Robinson]

Put the shoe on the other foot Wonky and imagine what would happen if the roles were reversed!

[keith lockey]

Put the shoe on the other foot Wonky and imagine what would happen if the roles were reversed!

That's right, Wonky, as Malcolm says, put the high heels...er...shoes on the other foot and think how you would like the situation handled.

Maggie has a fine point, as well. That guy has to live with that 'sword of Damocles' hanging over him. How he handles it will be the test for him. I'm not saying I am sorry for him, not from all the rest of the stuff you've told us about him, I don't think anyone where you work will be bending over backwards to help him. (I think I could have put that better!!!!) Diplomacy is called for, methinks.

Edited July 4, 2013 by keith lockey

[Symptoms]

It's my opinion that you MUST take time to have a word with the guy. Repeat the promise you made to him not to 'spill the beans' to your workmates. You'll have a clear conscience and he'll be relieved that you're not going to out him ... there is never a case for outing somebody without their consent.

[Alan Edgar (Eggy1948)]

Just like you my first thought would be - 'got him', but could you sleep with it? Remember your closing line from the black bridge story about owning up and saying sorry -

its funny ,how you get older these things come back and you remember what a lunatic you were....i certanly was for sure ,to be sure ,to be sure.

just wanted to get that off my chest..thankyouverymuch

My thoughts are - Don't out him; sleep soundly every night in the knowledge that he knows that you know and from time to time just make him aware, for as long as it takes, to keep that grin on your face! He knows you have the cards in your hand, keep him waiting but aware they could be used any time.

Now if that sounds vindictive then, it is - an eye for an eye.

[Symptoms]

Why would you want to hold this Sword of Damocles over the guy's head? Be satisfied that you know his secret ... blab, and you'll be just like him - a bully. Why would you, our very own dear Wonk, want to terrify another person?

[keith lockey]

This could be a turning point for him, Wonky. As you said, he is already showing signs of attitude change. Give the chap a chance; something like this could turn tragic. If anything have a quiet word with him; tell him how you feel about his racist remarks offending people, but emphasize that you aren't going to say a dickie bird concerning the other thing.

I had a neighbour who was gay. He was one of the nicest chaps around, but he got some aggro from the local numpties. In the end he moved away with his partner and I thought that was a shame - to be forced to move because of some ignorant youngsters. It wasn't right. Give the chap a chance, Wonky, the feel-good factor.

[wonky]

you would not belive the day i have had folks..gerry the racist has had another of wonkys little chats in private and has been assured again that in absolute no circumstances will i ever expose him,out him..whatever..it is just not in my nature..yes i do have evil thoughts from time to time but it is just not in my nature to do this..he has my word and thats all i could give..it has been cruel having to observe the breakdown of such a strong character at such close quaters in so few days.i would defnitly not want to be responsible god forbid should he tip over the edge..it was quite emotional and he apologised again for being such a dick all these years ect..i could sense that he had found himself a friend and i had to put that notion out of his head straight away by telling him i had never really liked him anyways due to his vulgarity and racisim..that he would never be a mate of mine and that if he needed a hand at work thats what he would get..

working long hours with a team of welders and fitters can be quite a tough job and working in confined spaces with cat 4 chemicals and solvents just add fuel to the fire..i explained that as a team we must all pull together and watch each others backs..that evryone must be 100% focused on the task in hand and that someone who obviously is not a full deck is an accident waiting to happen. there was no mercy. i explained that he can do whatever he wants and now i know what he gets upto i will now also be watching my ass as well as my back when we are inside some dark vessel..lol..this was the turning point..he actually laughed at me..first time in what probably seemed like a lifetime to him im guessing.

he has been told to just get on with it and not be trying to be nice to me..i told him that my family did not eat his potatoes and that i had no intentions of ever eating them all either and i much prefered turnip anyways..see you later..sorted.

after lunch today there was some other bloke banging on in my ear about all the forigners coming over here ,stealing our jobs and women,claiming all our benifits and complaining about there being no polish mass services ect ..and i found it was a lot easier to just agree than argue..i ended up telling the whole squad that when i was english and the queen came to tea we would always have oven chips because she didnt like potatoes either...

my new mate gerry the racist said out loud...in front of five more irish racists..."have you heard that geordie fecker ? he thinks hes a feckin paddy.."

i am drained..lol..cheers

[Symptoms]

These sons of Pádraig Pearse, Michael Collins, Roger Casement, are keeping the distrust of the English alive and well ... and with good reason!

I reckon being described as "that geordie fecker" is really just a term of endearment ... just as Mrs Symptoms sometimes calls me a "working-class Geordie git".

[wonky]

well heres an update..

its all out in the open now..gerry the racist has left his wife and kids and is living in his car..he finally cracked and has told all the fellas at work that he is gay and has been living a lie for years..there was loads of laughter and at first no one belived him but over the last few hectic days at work word has gone round and apparently there were loads of people who knew..he was telling one mate of mine that he had seen myself in loafers gay bar and they wont belive him..lol..i denied it of course and said he was trying to shift some atension off himself..lol..

the weather here in ireland has been fab and he has been shading under patio umbrella in the piperacks..mary poppins theyre calling him now..lol and hes taking it suprisingly well.

you would not belive the transformation of this guy..hes more chilled..i have not seen any insults to anyone ecept in retalyation..he was telling the lads his wife had known for years but always kept it to herself for the sake of the kids and now the kids were of age to understand it was time to sort it..

if it wasnt for me he could have ended up hanging so i guess i am a hero of sorts..lol

at tea break today there was a queue for the kettle and cups in the canteen cabin and jerry was reaching for the sugar..next thing a choir broke out.."just a spoonfull of sugar...makes the medicine go down""..well..i nearly choked..lol

in fairness to the rest of the lads at work..they are taking it in their stride and getting value out of it..and as for mary poppins..hes very happy indeedy..

[Malcolm Robinson]

I think you ended up complicit in his lie Wonky, by listening to the apologists like Sym!

If the guy was cruising flipping gay bars he obviously wanted everything to come out. (And there's no pun there!)

Really it was always a private matter between him and his family and once that was sorted the rest doesn't matter.

[wonky]

I think you ended up complicit in his lie Wonky, by listening to the apologists like Sym!

If the guy was cruising flipping gay bars he obviously wanted everything to come out. (And there's no pun there!)

Really it was always a private matter between him and his family and once that was sorted the rest doesn't matter.

no..i dont think he was cruising,,he said he was getting a taxi home..it is funny though..today one of the lunatics bust his troosers and he asked mary could he put a button on for him..went round the compound like wildfire..lol..

the thing that bothered me the most was the fact that i was in a position to cause havoc and his opinion of me was so tainted by finian propoganda he had never given me a chance ..always the same over here..because i have dreadlocks and smoke the odd roll up i aparently take drugs..because i have that new age look i take drugs and the truth is the exact oppisite..i actually make drugs to cure the sick and dying. i am an integral part of a massive pharma org and with out my assistance the plant would be stuffed..there have been times when i have had the third degree off the law and they are gutted when they are told .."though i look like a tramp i actually earn more than you officer"..it makes it all worth while when you make them look stupid.for years i tolerated this fool of a man and at the end of the day it was him made himself look stupid..now hes the butt of evryones jokes and it was all his doing..earlier this morning a guy asked him if he fancied a game of snooker later..he said if you cant pot the red you can pot the brown...priceless..lol...

[Symptoms]

"I think you ended up complicit in his lie Wonky, by listening to the apologists like Sym!" ?????????????????!!!!!!!!!! My advice was ethically grounded.

and

"Really it was always a private matter between him and his family and once that was sorted the rest doesn't matter."

Basically and clearly my original point!!!!!!!!!!