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Fool proof way for old guys to pick up chicks : I met a girl in the park the other evening, there was an instant spark between us and she immediately dropped to her knees and laid on the grass at my feet. As we lay making love, I thought "These taser guns are well worth the money."

Two flies on their beach towels soaking up the rays drinking gin and tonic, when this blue fly drops out of the sky. 'Hey man what's up? You look freezing' 'Aye' says the blue fly 'I just flew over the Alps.' 'You shouldn't do that, you should do what we do! Before your holiday go down to the local pub where you will always find a dumb blonde bragging about her holidays, you land on her neck crawl down her front till you find the sauna between her legs, crawl in and enjoy the trip. That's what we do every year, works a treat! The next year the two flies are sunning themselves on the beach when this blue fly drops out of the sky, freezing! 'Didn't you do as we told you?' says one fly. 'Aye' says the blue fly. 'I went down the pub, sure enough there was a dumb blonde there bragging about her holidays so I flew on her neck as you said, crawled down her front till I found the sauna crawled in and waited' So what the hell happened' says the other fly. Blue fly says 'I ended up on a hairy bikers 'tache flying over the Alps on his harley'

Yes I think it is the same as a paper copy that is going around. The names on the paper copy will get added to the electronic database in time so does not matter which one you sign. Thing is if we don't speak up then our voice will never get heard. The people of Ashington made enough noise when their leisure centre was about to close, now they are getting something new. Worth a try for a bit of ink!

Won't happen! I've said it before and I'll say it again. We the people of Bedlington need to stand alone. Tell these cooncils to get stuffed we the people of Bedlington will run our own Town! Do we need the cooncil? No Chance!