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Showing content with the highest reputation on 28/11/16 in all areas

  1. The Test The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, "Hello." "Mrs. Sanders, please." "Speaking." "Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well... We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way the results are not too good." "What do you mean?" Mrs. Sanders asks nervously. "Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for HIV. We can't tell which is which." "That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?" questioned Mrs. Sanders. "Normally we can, but MEDICARE will only pay for these expensive tests once." "Well, what am I supposed to do now?" "The MEDICARE Helpdesk recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town”. “If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him!”
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  2. Tell that to the people of Scotland and prepare to have a haggis stuffed where the sun don't shine Its actually the third REFERENDUM that has taken place in the whole of the UK , with no problem accepting the results of the other two,
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  3. No it does not concern me at all. As I said most people in this area vote labour no matter what, purely due to the fact that parents and grandparents before them did so, they know and care little about political matters.Does it concern me? not in the least it is that persons democratic right to vote as they see fit, do all of us who voted differently protest at the democratic result?, no. The day we stop allowing people to vote because we think they are to ignorant to understand politics would be the end of the UK and democracy as we know it . The alternative would be to allow the wealthy elite to make decisions on our behalf. Changes are a coming in Europe and the rest of the world, and those on the gravy train don't like it.
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  4. Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's when they struck up a conversation. The Yellow Labrador turned to the Black Labrador and said, " So why are you here? " The Black Lab replied, " I'm a pisser. I piss on everything....the sofa, the curtains, the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last night when I pissed in the middle of my owner's bed." The Yellow Lab said, " So what's the vet going to do? " " Gonna cut my nuts off " came the reply from the Black Lab. "They reckon it'll calm me down." The Black Lab then turned to the Yellow Lab and asked " Why are you here? " The Yellow Lab said, " I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees, I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets. but I went over the line last night when I dug a great big hole in my owner's couch." " So what are they going to do to you? " the Black Lab inquired. " Looks like I'm losing my nuts too," the dejected Yellow Lab said. The Black Lab then turned to the Great Dane and asked, " Why are you here ? " " I'm a humper," said the Great Dane. "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, fence posts, whatever. I want to hump everything I see. Yesterday my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and started hammering away." The Black and the Yellow Labs exchanged a sad glance and said, " So, it's nuts off for you too, huh ?” The Great Dane said, " No, apparently I'm here to get my nails clipped!"
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