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None of your above candidates will be the next PM. Ukip voters have already decided this too. It will - of course - be the one who protests the most clearly and convincingly that (s)he holds no such ambition; has undying loyalty to the incumbent, and firmly believes they should continue forever. So, you want a musical clue? Well.. this could be just about anything, because the clue is actually the format. P.S. It is of course (according to The Guardian) "the joke candidate" - though not the one the substitute-for-thought Leftie Labelers like to dub The Buffoon Candidate.