Malcolm Robinson

Brett, I put it as a news item...............I just wonder how many members go to the news section so the title of this thread looks fitting.............

15th June 2012 – Olympic Torch through Bedlington's Front Street. On Friday 15th June, the Olympic Torch passes through Bedlington and over 5000 people will be on Bedlington Front Street in the morning to see its procession. Leading Link and the Bedlingtonshire Development Trust have got together to help make this historic moment an event never to be forgotten and to bring back that magnificent community feeling that was at the heart of Bedlington years ago. As a pre-empt to the torch arriving, we have been working with several organisations in the town to put on a 'carnival' like parade to celebrate the area and entertain the school children and general public that will be there. Local television cameras, including the BBC, will also be in attendance. We already have a brass band on the procession, local dance companies showcasing, 30 decorated and dressed up wheelchairs from a local residential home, over 15 Bedlington Terrier owners and their dogs walking down the street (numbers growing!), and our own massive Bedlington Terrier in the style of a Chinese Dragon, which will be carried by two children from each of the local schools. We will also have a stage in the Market Place, with a compere and music to give regular updates on the torch procession through the county, and to help excite the crowds. To make this a true community affair, we are still seeking support from other local groups and communities who may wish to showcase themselves to the community during the parade, and we welcome your input. You could actively promote your organisation and/or help to make a truly great atmosphere to show the nation that Bedlington is here and we're proud of it! Our parade will start at 10:30 from the top of the street and will proceed down towards the Market Place and back up and into the Community Centre for a 11:00am prompt finish. We must be ready to go at 10:15am and must be clear of the street by 11:05am, to allow for official Olympic procession vehicles to take over. During this time this part of the road will be closed to traffic. If this is something that you are interested in being involved with, then please do not hesitate to get in touch with us as soon as possible. You can ring me on 01670 820088 or email lyn.horton@leadinglink.co.uk I look forward to your response!

Giz a job mate!!!!!!! http://www.journallive.co.uk/north-east-news/todays-news/2012/05/21/northumberland-council-paid-500-000-to-former-director-61634-31012751/

... :lol: In my defence, It doesn't have ixquick anywhere on my startpage!

What about startpage.com?

Well worth the look............... http://htwins.net/scale2/

Stunned Symptoms............didn't know the Guardianistas knew where we are, oh yes of course citadel Wansbeck!

So the new French President takes off in his state jet to fly to a meeting with Frau Merkel where he was expected to start renegotiating the whole Euro crisis debacle and a lightning bolt hits his plane making him return to Paris. Strewth, who's going up against Sarko or Merkle now!

GGG is old school Adam.................Laughing Out Loud! Not only Mr B liar there is a trail of white stuff running from Mrs Brooks right up to the Chipping Norton set! Gideon needed do much Machiavellian stuff looks like he might just get the PM'ship by default!

From 2005.............so who has been proved right? Its that man again!!!!!!!!!!!!

Letters of Apology: Hi Sweetheart, I am sorry about getting into an argument about putting up the Christmas lights. I guess that sometimes I feel like you are pushing me too hard when you want something. I realise that I was wrong and I am apologising for being such a hard-headed guy. All I want is for you to be happy and be able to enjoy the holiday season. Nothing brightens the Christmas spirit like Christmas lights! I took the time to hang the lights for you today and now I will be off to the hockey rink. Again, I am very sorry for the way I acted yesterday. I'll be home later. Love you?? Hi Honey, Thank you for that heart-felt apology. I don't often get an apology from you, and I truly appreciate it. I, too, felt bad about the argument and wanted to apologise. I realise that I can sometimes be a little pushy. I will try to respect your feelings from now on. Thank you for taking the time to hang the Christmas lights for me. It really means a lot. In the spirit of giving, I washed your truck for you and now I am off to the mall. I love you too!

Actual call centre conversations !!!!! Customer: 'I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?'. Operator: 'Where did you get that number from, sir?'. Customer: 'It was on the door to the Travel Centre'. Operator: 'Sir, they are our opening hours'. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Samsung Electronics Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?' Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about'. Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?' Operator: 'I think you mean the telephone point on the wall'. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- RAC Motoring Services Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?' Operator: ' Doesn't the product name give you a clue?' ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France ): 'If I register my car in France , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?' ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Directory Enquiries Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please'. Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?' Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off'. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven. Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?' Caller: 'Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland '. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: 'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on'. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop'. Customer: 'OK'.. Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'. Customer: 'No'. Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?' Customer: 'No'. Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'. Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click''. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Tech Support: 'OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?' Customer: 'Wow. How can you see my screen from there?' ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?'. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------- There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for 'Termination without Cause'. Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!): Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?' Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.' Operator: 'What sort of trouble??' Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.' Operator: 'Went away?' Caller: 'They disappeared.' Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?' Caller: 'Nothing.' Operator: 'Nothing??' Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.' Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??' Caller: 'How do I tell?' Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??' Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?' Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?' Caller: 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.' Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??' Caller: 'What's a monitor?' Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?' Caller: 'I don't know.' Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?' Caller: 'Yes, I think so.' Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall. Caller: 'Yes, it is.' Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??' Caller: 'No.' Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.' Caller: 'Okay, here it is.' Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.' Caller: 'I can't reach.' Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??' Caller: 'No.' Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??' Caller: 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.' Operator: 'Dark??' Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.' Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.' Caller: 'I can't.' Operator: 'No? Why not??' Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.' Operator: 'A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??' Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.' Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.' Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?' Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.' Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??' Operator: 'Tell them you're too f --- ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!'

If there's owt left any chance marra................... http://www.journallive.co.uk/north-east-news/todays-news/2012/05/12/ashington-leisure-centre-s20m-plans-move-forward-61634-30951368/

therein lies a tale Adam.......... When the great and good line their pockets or have works done which put their names up in lights it's called 'Progress', when it's the Hoi polloi that ask, a blind eye is turned. Progress is all very well but whatever is getting progressed needs to move forward or be better than what is replaces or that's just regress!

Fear the Boom and the Bust............

Anyone know the crack with the Golf Club crest? Same motto, and the dog of course. Is it newly created?

Repent O Scottish Sinner...... There was a Scottish painter named Smokey Macgregor who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often thinned down his paint to make it go a wee bit further. As it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually the Baptist Church decided to do a big restoration job on the outside of one of their biggest buildings. Smokey put in a bid, and, because his price was so low, he got the job. So he set about erecting the scaffolding and setting up the planks, and buying the paint and, yes, I am sorry to say, thinning it down with water... Well, Smokey was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly completed, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder, the sky opened, and the rain poured down washing the thinned paint from all over the church and knocking Smokey clear off the scaffold to land on the lawn among the gravestones, surrounded by tell-tale puddles of the thinned and useless paint. Smokey was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he got down on his knees and cried: "Oh, God, Oh God, forgive me; what should I do?" And from the thunder, a mighty voice spoke. . . "Repaint! Repaint! And thin no more!"

9 months later!!! John decided to go skiing with his buddy, Keith. So they loaded up John's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night. 'I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed,' she explained. 'I'm afraid the neighbours will talk if I let you stay in my house.' 'Don't worry,' John said. 'We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light.' The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing. But about nine months later, John got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend. He dropped in on his friend Keith and asked, 'Keith, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?' 'Yes, I do.' Said Keith. 'Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?' 'Well, um, yes!,' Keith said, a little embarrassed about being found out, 'I have to admit that I did.' 'And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?' Keith's face turned beet red and he said, 'Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did.' 'Why do you ask?' 'She just died and left me everything.' And you thought the ending would be different, didn't you!!!!

Wrong kind of bailout..........

I was going to say there isn't really a connection but there is.............. Bedlington now has some people willing to put the graft in to organise these things for our Town. Well done Lyn, Colin and Richard!

Anyone got a picture or any information about the Bedlington Flag? Or the coat of arms used by BUDC? I believe the motto was 'de profundis'.

The Torch is 15th June.

British Golf Rules in 1940 You have to hand it to the Brits, when it comes to golf. And, you thought you were a tough weather golfer. This notice posted in war-torn Britain in 1940 for golfers with stiff upper lips. You have to admit --- these guys really had guts! German aircraft from Norway would fly on missions to northern England ; because of the icy weather conditions, the barrels of their guns had a small dab of wax to protect them. As they crossed the coast, they would clear their guns by firing a few rounds at the golf courses. Golfers were urged to take cover.

Nice picture Adam.......... Harrumph......there's many an owld boiler turned plenty of heads..................