Malcolm Robinson

UKIP stood candidates in the recent London Assembly election and what happened? They filled the papers in wrongly so the 8% of the vote they expected and a couple of seats turned into a fiasco with no one able to vote for them as they were incorrectly described as 'Fresh Choice for London'. Says it all really! Nigel said, "We can only put our hands up and say sorry to voters who wanted to back us but couldn't find our name on the ballot paper. We hoped and expected to get two seats, but this has cost us dear. It is a lesson hard learned.” All this support you talk about for UKIP GGG, maybe it deserves a bit more professionalism than what's on offer at the moment?

http://www.newspostleader.co.uk/community/appeal-for-memories-of-last-60-years-1-4515008

Italy looks to be on the brink with a report into her services PMI showing a fall from 44.3 to 42.3. Already contracting that is without doubt the wrong way because it is worse and this after all that bailout dosh! The report also says………. These services figures joined earlier-released retail and manufacturing data in showing faster contractions in activity during April that, with the exception of the latter, are approaching the rates of decline seen at the depth of the 2008/9 recession. With a "short supply of credit” being cited toowhere has that trillion euros of ECB dosh gone???? Not sure UKIP is going from strength to strength. Yes they are getting a good percentage of votes but that isn't being transmitted into actual seats and at the end of the day………. I like Nigel, even if he was one of the city traders I would have strung up, trouble is he and UKIP are a one horse group who really only come into their own at European election time. Until they make inroads into domestic politics I doubt they will be taken seriously………..

Looks like the EZ is heading into official recession with the latest trade figures. Spain, Italy, and Portugal we all know about but France looks to be on the cusp too and she is an EZ mainstay. So hit by austerity at home and falling international trade it would seem there are two ends pulling against the middle. Interesting to look at the Greek bailout and see where it is on the Troika path to salvation. Greece was supposed to see economic growth of 1.1% now while actually there is a 5% contraction! Keep these institutions away from our shores or our stagflation could turn into something much worse!

Many Happy Returns.............

My Sat Nav......... I have a little Satnav It sits there in my car A Satnav is a driver's friend It tells you where you are I have a little Satnav I've had it all my life It does more than the normal one My Satnav is my wife It gives me full instructions On exactly how to drive "It's thirty miles an hour" it says "And you're doing thirty five" It tells me when to stop and start And when to use the brake And tells me that it's never ever Safe to overtake It tells me when a light is red And when it goes to green It seems to know instinctively Just when to intervene It lists the vehicles just in front It lists those to the rear And taking this into account It specifies my gear I'm sure no other driver Has so helpful a device For when we leave and lock the car It still gives its advice It fills me up with counselling Each journey's pretty fraught So why don't I exchange it And get a quieter sort? Ah well, you see, it cleans the house Makes sure I'm properly fed It washes all my shirts and things And - keeps me warm in bed!

jorga, wash your mouth out.............this is a no swearing site!!!!!

I think this is exactly what Front Street needs to increase footfall, an eclectic and unique retail offering. It's probably the only way to get the potential increased punters who might use a newly developed Tesco out the back door and onto Front Street.

The whole thing is pathetic. If anyone else had gone on like this..................hang your head NCC!

No need to wait Adam................ http://www.facebook.com/orangemoononline I can smell the joss sticks now.

No, Orange Moon isn't it?

Deer Sur, I waunt to apply for the secritary job I seen in the paper. I can type real kwik wit one finggar and do sum Acounting 2. I think I am good on the fone and I am a pepole person. Pepole really seam to respond good to me. Im lookin for a jobb as a secritary but it !*!@# be 2 complikaited My spelling is not 2 good but find that I awfin get a job Bcuz of my persinalety.. My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am wurth, I can start imeditely. Thank you in advanse 4 yore anser. Hopifuly I M Yore best aplicant so phar. Sinseerly, Peggy May McBiggins PS : I half includeded a pickture of me B low. Dear Peggy May: Start on Monday. We have spell check.

A rich blond buys the New Automatic BMW X6 Sport. She drives the car perfectly well during the day, But at night the car just won't move at all. She tries driving the car at night for a week but still no luck. She then furiously calls the BMW dealer and they send out a technician to her, the technician asks: Ma'am, are you sure you are using the right gears?? Full of anger, the blond replies: "You fool, idiot man, how could you could ask such a question, I'm not stupid!! I use D for the Day and N for the Night.. "

Cyril, Proverbs have been around for a long time, what gives them their longevity.............the truth they contain: A fool and his money...................

http://uk.finance.yahoo.com/news/sunday-times-rich-list-2012-160330454.html

Amen to that Mrs Benson............................ I feel richer already!!!!! My beloved. Greetings in the name of our lord Jesus Christ. i am Mrs Limana Benson from Bahrain, a widow to late Jeff Benson i am 51 years old, i am now a new Christian convert, suffering from long time cancer of the breast, from all indication my condition is really deteriorating and it is quite obvious that i won't live more than 2 months, according to my doctors, this is because the cancer stage has gotten to a very worst stage. My late husband and my only child died last five years, his death was politically motivated. My late husband was a very rich and wealthy business man who was running his cocoa business in Cote d'Ivoire and after his death; i inherited all his business and wealth. my doctors has advised me that i may not live for more than 2 months, so i now decided to divide the part of this wealth, to contribute to the development of the church in Africa, America, Asia, and Europe. i collected your email address during my desperate search on the internet and i prayed over it. i decided to donate the sum of $3,500,000.00 usd( Theree million five hundred thousand united states dollars) to the less privileged because i cannot take this money to the grave. Please i want you to note that this fund is lodged in a bank in Ivory Coast in West Africa . Once i hear from you, i will forward to you all the information's you will use to get this fund released from the bank and to be transferred to you. i honestly pray that this money when transferred to you, will be sure for the said purpose, because i have come to find out that wealth acquisition without Christ is vanity. may the grace of our lord Jesus the love of god and the fellowship of god be with you and your family. Please contact me in this my private e-mail id so that i will give you all the details Your beloved sister in Christ. Mrs Limana Benson

Wasn't Kendo Nagasaki some sort of faith healer as well??

Tee-heee

In reply to the post title, no but I have felt like Les Kellet! Interesting factoid, Les' nephew lived in Bishops Meadow. For anyone who grew up watching Saturday teatime telly in the 60's. ps.. we should make this is a sport - 'identify the forum member'...... I think foxy already does!

Bronze to Beauty.......... Must be our ladies who lunch merc... Good luck to them at least it shows some faith in Front Street if not Bedlington as a commercial centre!

Tommy Cooper lives ... I had a dream last night that I was cutting carrots with the Grim Reaper . . . dicing with death! So I rang up British Telecom and said: 'I want to report a nuisance caller.' He said: 'Not you again.' Albinos - you can't say fairer than that. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah and I thought: 'He's trying to pull a fast one.' So I said to this train driver: 'I want to go to Paris.' He said: 'Eurostar?' I said: 'I've been on telly, but I'm no Dean Martin.' Beware of Alphabet Grenades. If you throw them, it could spell disaster. I was walking down the road the other day and I saw this advert in the window that said: 'Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.' I thought: 'I can't turn that down.' A friend of mine always wanted to be run over by a steam train. When it happened, he was chuffed to bits! Black beauty - he's a dark horse. I wanted to be a milkman - but I didn't have the bottle I rang up my local swimming baths. I said: 'Is that the local swimming baths?' He said: 'It depends where you're calling from.' So I said to the gym instructor: 'Can you teach me to do the splits?' He said: 'How flexible are you?' I said: 'I can't make Tuesdays.' The advantage of easy origami is twofold... This bloke says to me: 'Can I come in your house and talk about your carpets?' I thought: 'That's all I need, a Je-hoover's witness.' I'm against hunting. In fact, I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. My next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes - he's a catholic converter. I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags - he's bisatchel. So I went down the local supermarket. I said: 'I want to make a complaint - this vinegar's got lumps in it.' He said: 'Those are pickled onions.' I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself. . I used go out with an anaesthetist - she was a local girl. Did you know that if a stick insect laid its eggs in a jar of Bovril it would give birth to a litter of Twiglets? So I got home and the phone was ringing. I picked it up and said: 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said: 'You are.' During the war, my grandfather could not stop scribbling. He got hit by a Doodlebug. I've got a front door made from sponge. Don't knock it. I've played football on a plane, you know . . . there I was, running up the wing! I went to the butchers the other day and the butcher said: 'I bet you £5 you can't guess the weight of that meat on the top shelf.' 'I'm not gambling,' I said. 'The steaks are too high.' I threw some snow at my girlfriend. She didn't catch my drift. Did you hear Handel has teamed up with Hinge and Bracket? They've formed The Doors. I was taking the motorway out of London. A policeman pulled me over and said: 'Put it back.' So I went down my local icecream shop and said: 'I want to buy an icecream.' He said: 'Hundreds and thousands?' I said: 'We'll start with the one.' When I left home, my mum said: 'Don't forget to write.' I thought: 'That's unlikely - it's a basic skill, isn't it?' Velcro . . . what a ripoff. So I met a gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants. It was Weggie Kray. I went to the record shop and I said: 'What have you got by The Doors?' He said: 'A bucket of sand and a fire blanket!' You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen which said 'parking fine'. So that was nice. What do you call a lady with big teeth who sleeps in the afternoon? Siesta Rantzen. I was in the Army once and the sergeant said to me: 'What does surrender mean?' I said: 'I give up!' I have spent the afternoon re-arranging the furniture in Dracula's house . . . I was doing a bit of Fang-Shui. When it comes to cosmetic surgery, a lot of people turn their noses up.

An economist would call it the Laffer Curve............. http://www.forbes.com/sites/beltway/2011/04/04/a-victory-for-the-laffer-curve-a-defeat-for-englands-economy/

Your are getting there Adam, we are also printing money, allowing the currency to depreciate therebye importing inflation, still borrowing to cover running costs and taxing the backside off everyone. It will end in tears I only hope they are the great and good's tears.........

Again 2011........