Malcolm Robinson

2011..........

A Scottish Soldier, in full dress uniform, marches into a pharmacy. Very carefully he opens his sporran and pulls out a neatly folded cotton bandana, unfolds it to reveal a smaller silk square handkerchief, which he also unfolds - to reveal a condom. The condom has a number of patches on it. The chemist holds it up and eyes it critically. "How much to repair it?' The Scot asks the chemist. "Six pence" says the chemist. "How much for a new one?" "Ten pence" says the chemist. The Scot painstakingly folds the condom into the silk square handkerchief and the cotton bandana, replaces it carefully in his sporran, and marches out of the door, shoulders back and kilt swinging. A moment or two later the chemist hears a great shout go up outside, followed by an even greater shout. The Scottish soldier marches back into the chemists and addresses the proprietor, this time with a grin on his face. "The regiment has taken a vote," he says. "We'll have a new one."

I AM SPARTACUS,,...errr foxy!

Maybe he took a lead off Mike Reid...........the Mary Whitehouse of Radio 1?????? http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/3395823.stm

GET OUT NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-17835821

Lets get this sort of thing stamped out........................ http://www.journallive.co.uk/northumberland-sites/bedlington-northumberland/bedlington-news/2012/04/20/teenager-assaulted-in-gallagher-park-bedlington-61634-30802505/

We have never dipped into anything, we have been hiding and massaging the figures for years.......................... We are bouncing along a plinth with a steep fall at one side and a mountain to climb at the other. Heads or tails its a bad place to be.

Great stuff Hardy....................keep up the good work! My particular gripe is that the North of England starts at Nottingham for most southerners and Leeds might as well be next to Scotland!

I think I saw one of your sermons Keith.........

Pete, The footballers actually have it pretty good..............well for about 1 month at the start of the season after that the pitches are all played out! Then looking at things like changing rooms, toilets etc............unbelievable! 30,000 people and no facilities..........its just plain ridiculous!

Adam, With any luck it won't be us that's doomed rather the people forcing us into unsustainable ways of living who might feel the wrath for a change. Not that there is any precedent of course………. There looks to be a whole geo-political change being forced onto the West as wealth disappears eastwards and once they had our jobs who didn't see that coming? Err, well everyone in charge and those outsourcing jobs! This is in the last 2 or 3 decades so we have livid through this stuff and we should be able to see where the mistakes were made. America is bankrupt by any definition of the word, Europe is imploding and while we (UK) smugly sit on the sidelines our economy has already disappeared up the genie's back passage! The thing is what all those in charge seem to forget or not allow for is the anthropological question. They have controlled us by allowing us to feel wealthier and better off but having to allow that to get out of hand and using unsustainable debt to carry it on has produced a quantum moment in our social development. We will see more nationalistic undercurrents at play in our political futures, and if anyone doesn't believe that look at the French Presidential elections and the courting of Marine by Sarko and Holland going on. That is diametrically opposed to any furthering on EU integration in fact it has to produce the opposite effect. So while all member states bankrupt themselves trying to sort out the EU sovereign debt crisis the people will probably vote for some form of separatism and walk away from debt payments and so bring the whole pack of cards crashing down. I think we are living in interesting times and that Mayan Long Count Calendar might have been right all along!

Central banking 101..........

:D A common misconception of the gender!

Yes Pete is a mine of information.............

If you like it pass it around your networks!

Patron saint imported, Sovereign imported Religion imported Laws imported and people complain about our multiculturalism!

Not really crash11 but interesting EU point none the less............

You know if I didn't know any better I might think we are all finally starting to work together!!!!!!

I do take your point and normally any 'event' needs a commensurate budget to at least try and attract the maximum audience. I think this is where tying everything together could come into the mix. Having a full agenda of events over say 6/9 months should mean it would be easier to get that agenda out to everyone and do it in the most cost effective way for all the organisations involved. I think this should be the province of the town council……?

Christine 'Fe-Fe' Lagarde comes out and says the IMF will institute a new EU bailout fund worth 500B dollars. Frau Merkel immediately says it will only be 400B, so it becomes 400B! So far only Japan and the UK (???) have pledged and they are worth 75B. In fact the Yanks have said they won't contribute! Suddenly she tells Bloomberg she has amassed 320B, but the only new donors were Switzerland and Denmark. By last weekend she was claiming 420B and we got a definitive list……”$60 billion from Japan; $15 billion each from Britain, Saudi Arabia and South Korea, and smaller amounts from countries including Sweden, Norway, Poland, Australia, Denmark and Singapore.” I would think someone is over-egging the pudding here they certainly need some basic mathematics lessons………. The BRICS are seen as natural contributors given their strong financial positions but in the immortal words of CJ…….they didn't get where they are today by throwing cash away!

I thought the Ridge was part of a large pub group? It certainly used to be. It must have one of the best pitches in Bedlington, easily accessible, own car park and now surrounded by housing. If that is true what it must be lacking is individuality and a USP.

Couldn't agree more Debbie. It really aggrieves me when you see all the dumbing down we are allowing to happen in society. Chasing the lowest common denominator and then applying it across the board is restricting development not helping it. At some point that ape had to stand up on two feet and walk like a biped and not just follow the rest of the troup. OTT insulation of children is almost as bad as neglect! They have to cry to appreciate laughter, they have to make the team selection for the team to be worth getting into, they have to graze their knees so they build up some semblance of viral resistance. Nature isn't stupid it has made kids regenerative and they learn easily. With so many opportunities these days we should be making sure everyone gets their chance to develop to their fullest potential whatever that might be.

The markets are ran by NCC, well put out for others to run some of them anyway. NCC carry their own liabilities as a matter of business as normal and that will cover them for the likes of markets. (Plus there is a big push to get markets re-established in Northumberland, it's part of the NCC regeneration strategy) Trying to organise something like a Town Fayre is fraught with problems and in reality H&S is only one part. A community group trying to put on a Fayre has everything from risk assessment to PL insurance and they need a policy in place for each and every separate section as well. Policing, crowd control, stewarding, road closures etc. the list is almost endless and that's before you think about cost effective attractions to get people there.

Yep Sym, I've got a Bert Weedon teach yourself as well.................. RIP.