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Malcolm Robinson

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Posts posted by Malcolm Robinson

  13. The Meaning of Lidl? - Discuss

    in Chat Central

    Posted

     It's the fact that a new shop opening in Bedlington deserves a front page spread that worries me!!!!  

     

    Plus its entirety a business decision by Lidl... why we need these councillors trying to ingratiate themselves by association……….we have to wonder?  

  17. Good Jokes: Not For The Faint-Hearted (Adult content)

    in Chat Central

    Posted

    Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck until one day; he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it.

    The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition.

    He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.

    'Well, it's quite simple, really,' says the seller, 'whenever the Bike is outside and it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain.'

    And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.

     

    That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her Parents.

    Naturally, they take the bike there.

     But just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, 'I have to tell you something about my family before we go in.'

    'When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.'

    'No problem,' he says and in they go.          

    Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes.  

    In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes.

    They sit down to dinner and sure enough, no one says a word.

    As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation.

    So he leans over and kisses Sandra.

    No one says a word.        

    So he reaches over and fondles her.

    Still, nobody says a word.

    So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table and has his way with hers her right there, in front of her parents.

    His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.

    He looks at her mom..

    'She's got a great body,' he thinks. So he grabs the mom and has his way with her every which way, right there on the dinner table.

    Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence.

    All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder and it starts to rain.

    Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket...

     

    Suddenly the father shouts out ... ' OK I'll do the ******** dishes!!!

  18. Good Jokes: Not For The Faint-Hearted (Adult content)

    in Chat Central

    Posted

    An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, 'Seven Points.'

    His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?' The old man replied, 'its fart football.'

    A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, 'Touchdown, tie score...'

    After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, 'Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7.'

    Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, 'Touchdown, tie score.'

    Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, 'Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.' Now the pressure is on for the old man.

    He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard.

    Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally poops in the bed.

    The wife says, 'What the hell was that?'

    The old man says, 'Half time, switch sides

  19. Frogs hide on Frenchie Tootoo

    in Chat Central

    Posted

    Frogs…..outbreak of WW11 biggest army the world had ever seen…..largest land defence works and the Germans walked around it in 2 weeks! 

     

    Number of Frenchies in 1940……about 45,500,000 

     

    Number of Frenchies in resistance….100,000.  Nuff said!!!!

  20. Core Strategy Full Draft Plan

    in Talk of the Town

    Posted

    Seems to me that the developers win every time.

    The Core Strategy Brief Guide States

    'We have to consider some new developments on green field sites and in the Green Belt'

    The guide proposes a managed approach to reviewing the existing Green Belt, in order that we protect it against pressure from inappropriate developments.

    Open Season.

     

    Seems to me that the developers win every time.

    The Core Strategy Brief Guide States

    'We have to consider some new developments on green field sites and in the Green Belt'

    The guide proposes a managed approach to reviewing the existing Green Belt, in order that we protect it against pressure from inappropriate developments.

    Open Season.#

     

    Yep.......

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