keith lockey

There aren't enough swear words in the dictionary to answer to this.

I've just watched a film about a masked man in Spanish California who cuts the letter N into peoples' chests.

It was called The Dyslexic Zorro.

Happy birthday, Brett. try not to get overcome with emulsion.

I remember the station one, Adam. It was a tiny affair in the Resident's Committee rooms - I believe. Not much room for many stalls and most of those were crafts and car boot / home / attic stalls. My mate was there selling all his old stuff if I remember. 

Sorry, Ex-Bedlingtonian, I meant to put Old Church School, but I missed the school off. (Apologies)

Yes, Fourgee, no doubt you are correct, my grievance is the way they word this stuff and the fact that now-a-days it seems easier to knock things down and rebuild rather than to try to save the older building, with its marvelous stones  work, and turn it into a town feature.

How could I have missed the glaring one...

^{...Two important streetscapes will be dramatically improved ...}

^{Now assuming one of those IMPORTANT streetscapes is the old Church itself...then if it was so important why wasn't it saved!! But what exactly are the TWO important streetscapes. Please clarify!}

Where's that then?

Milne House? The old Co-op, Merc'. (Sorry, I always call it Milne House.) It makes no odds, it will never happen.

^{http://www.nicholsonnairn.co.uk/project-template.php?id=60}

^{New build residential development comprising 19 apartments on derelict town centre site in the Bedlington Conservation Area. Granted planning approval via a successful public inquiry (to which Nicholson Nairn Architects}

^{The development will play a significant part in the regeneration of Bedlington. oade II listed church the building was sensitively designed to enhance this setting whilst fully according with the local vernacular to deliver a building in character with both its immediate and wider context.}

^{The building masks existing unattractive elements through its layout, massing and orientation to enhance the visual aspects into the site from key town centre advantage points.}

^{Two important streetscapes will be dramatically improved through the proposed scheme while an important corner junction is successfully treated through appropriate design.}

^{AM I BEING TOO SCEPTICAL HERE}

^{1) …the development will play a significant part in the regeneration of Bedlington.}

^{Er….how?.}

^{2) …to deliver a building in character with both its immediate and wider context..}

^{Er…Immediate context!!...an old church and graveyard and a ghost town!!}

^{3)…The building masks existing unattractive elements through its layout, massing and orientation to enhance the visual aspects into the site from key town centre advantage points.}

^{Er…masks existing unattractive elements…read hide it away.}

^{…Massing and orientation!!!}

^{Say what!}

^{…enhance the visual aspects into the site from key town centre advantage points.}

^{What town centre advantage points!!}

^{4)…an important corner junction is successfully treated through appropriate design..}

^{A busy corner junction (That will be blocked by builders' lorries, etc.)}

^{[will be] successfully treated through appropriate design.}

^{Appropriate design – how about something that will benefit the community.}

Does three stalls constitute a market Adam!

But whilst we're on about markets - and the Old Church School elsewhere - why don't we 'construct' an indoor market. I remember there used to be one at Ashington. Milne House would be a good venue.

YOU'VE GOT TO LAUGH!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Of2HU3LGdbo

This is what happens when you plug your cat into the charger.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vf9wHkkNGUU

OPERA AT ITS BEST!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4OGJ4oWBNs

Where did I put my lawn mower extension cable?

No. Not even if they 'transmogrify' into Dwane Dibley.

It's a petty, Eggy, because my cats love rubbing themselves against you and cuddling onto your lap. Here's some photos of them.

I'm all for preserving old buildings and such, but what concerns me more is the fact that there are buildings in Bedlington that are standing empty and which could be used to enhance our town - namely the old Co-op (Milne House), Johnson's shoe shop, which seems to have come to a sudden stop where renovation is concerned. Town planners, etc, should be concentrating on these not, as someone said above, buildings that no longer serve a function. Preserve them by all means, but turn them into viable concerns where the towns folk can benefit from them.

I'll pack my bucket and spade, Eggy. Have you got room for the cats.

Mars is at its closest to Earth tonight, so we all know what that means - the invasion is imminent. That light on Mars was just the beginning, the machines will be heading our way soon, it will be the rout of civilization, the massacre of mankind.

I thought this was very interesting.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzgQwDeP7eM

Call that a rocket, Eggy!!!! Nah, this is a rocket.

I'm halfway to the red planet as we speak. "Is there life on Mars...ooh ooh oh."

H G. Wells was right!!! Soon the motherships will arrive. Keep watching the skies.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saOSXTrpvWk

I got 6 out of 10. Some of those were beyond me...Doylem!!!!

There are some scurrilous knaves on this site who deem my selection as the new Jammy...er...James Bond...is nothing more than an April Fools prank. I can assure you there is nothing prankishness about this claim - and if you don't believe me you can phone my secretary at MFI - Miss Thruppennybit. Even better, contact my American counterpart, Helix Lighter-than-air...er...Felix Leitner at CIU HQ. I have been given a licence to trill and will go out tonight to celebrate with my usual tipple...Broon Dog. shaken, not stirred.

How long did you work on that anagram, Keith?

Anagram!!! What anagram?

Hi everyone, at last I can announce the great news. I am the official new James Bond.

I have been chosen to replace Daniel Craig as 007 and I am well and truly chuffed. The competition was tough with Christian Bale, Daniel Day Lewis, Tom Hardy and Ronnie Corbett all vying for the roll but as you can see from the photograph I have been given the sanction of Daniel Craig himself who graciously handed over his licence to kill to yours truly at this reception at the Clayton Arms.

I hope this will not affect my relationship with everyone on this site so feel free to stop me in the street and ask for my autograph - £25 a signature, concessions to pensioners and Bedlington Terrier dogs.

I can also announce that my debut Bond film will be called…

A PILL FOR O.

well..been at the shed all weekend again and have built this rocky chair from the scrap corner..i know its not in the same league as the bedlington bench but its probably just as pleasurable to sit on for a while..will try and finish it next time I have a few hours to kill and get it sprayed up all sparkly new...had I have been asked to commission a bedlington bench it would have probably looked like a robot...so..fair play Malcolm .

Is this from Wonky's Spanish Inquisition collection? The Torquemada Tormentor. Functional and basic with just a hint of Baroque and Gothic inference. The grill-like seat is guarenteed to double as a recliner and BBQ giving the owner a dual capacity. Can be bought at BDSM stores in your area.