Symptoms

Maybe some nob has bought seeds off the internet to grow hydroponically but has been stiffed by the seller. I'm not sure a 'buzz' will result if the fern leaves are smoked.

I haven't seen Pete posting for quite a while; any info?

Perhaps this thread should be merged with the 'original' Miners Killed In Bedlington Pits thread ... keeps all the points of discussion in one place.

Our intrepid photographer having fought across the vast swathes of wasteland along the rank banks of that polluted brook, the so-called 'River' Weir, finally reached their target ... that vile nest of inbreds. Embedded with the forces of good our man braved the threat of infection and disease to bring us photos of the final victory over the hordes of darkness.

The enemy HQ before and after:

A series of photos showing the former leaders office:

The former leader making his escape:

Orl - I reckon all the cream-sucking fat cats who occasionally deposit their waste in the forum's litter tray are sleeping off a night or two of excess; I'm sure they'll be along shortly to regurgitate their vile fur balls after first licking their own ar*es. The pigeons are safe for a while yet.

Nay, laddie. We get enough Jocko stuff elsewhere in the media without it infesting this place.

There's always plenty to say about those blood-sucking inhabitants of Buck house that's why we should have a dedicated space here for it. Just today there's a report of a couple of woofs being topped on the orders of Billy Windsor's bodyguard bosses; I suspect they got an early morning phone call from Betty herself. In that grating squark she probably told the boss RAF guy, "Keel them."

I saw him live years and years ago in London and one memorable tale he told during the set was of getting a prostrate exam. Needless to say he acted-out the whole proceedure, complete with a take on the quack putting on a rubber glove ... this was complete with his uttered sound effects of rubber 'snapping' over extended middle finger, the dropping of the drawers, and his screams of the long cold digit being "rammed" (quote) up his "arse" and being wiggled around. What a hoot it was ... side-busting humour. How prophetic.

Every year I go for a general health check-up (going this Thursday) - blood pressure check, urine test, various gibblets felt, weight logged, etc. It also comes complete with a prostrate blood test (PSA) ... they suck a bit blood out for the cholesterol test and mark the tube additionally for the prostrate test. It's an easy way to get the 'old donut' checked without the rubber glove treatment. Rest easy viewers ... Symptoms is fit and healthy and operating at his perfect 'fighting weight' (not an ounce of excess fat) - this annual 'MOT' is for insurers.

The beloved Guardian's masthead is blue ... especially designed that way so it can be lit to set GGG off.

Of course the real villains who "trouser all the benefits that capitalism generates" are the crooked bosses in their chalk-striped suits who stiff their poor employees (zero hours contracts and/or paying less than the minimum wage and/or no employment protection) whilst at the same time robbing their captive customers (think big energy, big bank, big oil, big food, big telecoms, big footy, etc). Oh, and let's not forget that some local small businessmen in their cheepo polyester pin-striped suits from Man-at-C&A, are at it as well. "The left-wing opinion formers who really run our mad society" don't really, and they certainly aren't gorging themselves on the benefits that seep through the bosses pocket holes.

Russell Brand is good value and not afraid to offend ... shame there aren't more like him. However, Frankie Boyle is still the boss.

KeithL wrote: "What about His Highness With Special Benefits of Travelling abroad and Annoying Foreigners, ..."

K - I don't think you have the appropriate qualifications for this roll as you are too decent a bloke. The current incumbent, Betty Windsor's second blood-sucking spawn, is already giving it a good go ... call girls smuggled in at night, rude to all those around him, horrible to the servants, trousering wads of cash when on so-called trade missions, swearing at the Peelers whose job it is to keep Betty safe.

The Betty Windsor Gang

My favourite action was to let a rasper rip then cry out to the teacher that somebody else (named) had done it. What a laugh.

The school trips to Ford Castle in the 60s always included sessions on the battle. The boss gadgy at Ford always told us kids that James's ghost used to roam the corridors at night ... I'm sure it was just a typical teacher under-hand trick to keep us in our dormitories at night as I never saw the ghost.

The Beast of Bedders, perhaps? There's an earlier thread recently about a giant cat.

Get rid of Betty and her blood-sucking clan and I, Symptoms the Terrible Benevolent, could become Head of State; I could only accept the post if it came with full executive powers.

The county would be in a better place then.

Oh dear, here we go!

Another great venue for mass punch-ups in the mid to late 60s was the Market Place Club. Every week they had live groups on in the upstairs hall ... it was a tanner transfer paid to the old guy who sat at the bottom of the stairs (girls were let in free of charge). Anyway, the rock bands would play, the girls would get onto the wooden dancefloor at the front and do their stuff around their handbags (yes, they DID dance around their bags!) and all the blokes would be getting their pints in at the bar at the rear of the hall. During breaks everybody would sit at the rows of tables between the bar standing area and the dance floor. I remember the place was ALWAYS packed. Then somebody would get pushed or be accused of 'tapping-up' somebody's girl then it would all kick-off ... these were proper punch-ups. The Peelers would be called and they would come storming in thumping anybody with reach ... those captured were dragged outside and given a good tuning by the boys in blue. Happy days.

Yep John ... my Granny always called them "Steepy Peas" - farters is what us lads called them. I don't think I would have dared to call them farter peas in front of my Granny.

Another attraction for us lads (once the 'juices' had started to flow through our bodies) was the Fan Dance Show. Sucked in by the amazing paintings outside the attraction and by the fine words of the barker we paid our tanner to get in. I'm sorry to report that the lady doing the fan dance didn't look anything like the ones on the external mural ... oh, and she was so fast with the fans that nothing was revealed. Our 'juices' went unsatisfied!!!

The Shows usually ended with a mass brawl ... one year it was so bad that a candyfloss caravan got knocked on its side (with the gadgy still inside) when all the Peelers charged. Brilliant fun to watch.

At the Picnic it was ALWAYS the Shows on 20 acres. My favorite was the boxing booth where all the so-called 'hard' local lads fancied their chances against the inhouse pro. Up they'd get for the three rounds and end-up getting a proper hiding.

Maggs, make sure you bring it inDAWES at night or somebody'll nick it.

Have a look here for the 1871 British Geological Survey of our local pits ... all the details of the different strata and where the coal seams are and the depth of everything. There's also data on how the pits relate to each other ... same seams, etc. You can zoom in and navigate across the chart to read the details.

www.largeimages.bgs.ac.uk/iip/historicmaps.html?id=1003563

The problem really lies with a generally casual approach to bio-security on many farms and the 'underground' movement of stock (which is rife). Farms are covered in dung (especially yards and sheds) which is often not cleared effectively or regularly, many sheds and pens are well past their best with broken side panels and roof coverings which allow vermin to easily enter, animal feed is often stored insecurely which allows vermin to contaminate it, and so on. Offending farmers need to get these things organised before badgers are killed. I visited farms in Blighty for the best part of 40 years and was often shocked with how scruffy and unnecessarily dirty and unhealthy they were - hardy suprising that infections in herds is so commonplace.

There's always something satisfyingly tactile about a SLR body, something sadly missing from the plague of smartphones most folks use. The other advantage for people of a 'certain age' using an SLR is you can use the viewfinder without first having to don the specs; and the viewfinder is great in bright light when all you see in the view sceen is reflected glare. My only gripe about all these digital photos people take is they usually don't exist as hard copies and so are likely to be 'lost'. Good management seems to be the key ... regular review, back-up storage somewhere, and printing out the decent snaps for all to see.

I still love my old Canon A1, complete with motordrive and lense collection ... something reassuring about analogue technology. Mind I do have a Sony digital SLR but it isn't the same ... no smell of chemicals, glow of red light, the magic of the image firming-up on wet paper.

My Dad loved jam & bung (cheese) sandwiches ... he said it was an army thing.

I still have the occasional banana sandwich with demerera sugar but always between rough-cut brown crusty bread. It's decades since I last had white sliced bread (I would have been a poor student in London) but fondly remember chip sandwiches. But nothing beats white Cheshire cheese with a dollop of Gentleman's Relish* smeared over it, then held in place between thickly buttered crusty brown bread. Yum!

* Gentleman's Relish is a type of chutney and not some iffy Victorian sex game.

Keith, I was tempted to have a look at that stuff but thought what's the point ... I just know what their demonic ranting will be about. The trouble is that these types of swivel-eyed crackerjacks and their fairweather followers seem to be gaining in influence to a frightening degree. You can't listen to a news broadcast without some 'foundatation/thinktank/BigGgroup/pro-lifewhackjob' being allowed to spout bile in the name of balance. What's worse is the shyster politicians always seem to kow-tow to these pressure groups. Just look at any group wielding power in our so-called democracy and you'll find the clammy-hand of folks like the pinch-faced presbyterians* on the tiller ... look no further than ACPO (the boss cops' cabal) or the NAHT (the boss teachers' cabal). I don't have a problem if folk need the crutch of religion to lean on but don't let them use it as a banner to march behind whilst treading on the views of the majority. OK, I've now drawn a large target on my back and await the arrival of the Crusaders ...

*this represents a pejorative code for all intolerant religious groups ... also it scans better.