Symptoms

Sitting in the sunshine, sipping my Pimms, and watching the wee beasties flitting around the water, I got to thinking that my garden pond was very much like this forum .... Mr threegee, the pond's custodian, had created a wonderful environment for all forms of wildlife to thrive and co-exist. There is the wise old owl (lets call him Joe) perched on an overhanging Maple bough wistfully surveying all below and dreaming of what the pond used to be like when he was a chick. Then there's the two graceful Grey Herons (perhaps we could call them Colonel and Symptoms) watching with beady-eye and razor-sharp beaks, water rippling arounds their feet, poised to feast on morsels drifting up from the dark depths below. A diverse range of other attractive creatures also share this place (missvic, Mrs Pencilneck and many others) contributing to the rich mix that makes this a beautiful spot to visit. There is, however, a dark side to this idyll; the menace that slithers through the primordial soup at the lowest reaches of this place. Barely formed creatures, monster-like in appearance, drag their wizened bodies through the slime, spewing foul odours and disgusting bile from their mouth parts. Much to their confusion, the graceful Herons occasionally see signs of ambition flickering within these the bitter and twisted forms. Could it be that a graceful Dragonfly will emerge and soar majestically on the wing, impressing all those who witness the start of a meaningful life of contribution and wisdom around the pond. The Herons hope so! Danger lurks however ... the metamorphosis into this dapperly uniformed creature could fail, it could mutate into a belligerent beast who readily attacks the occasional, brightly coloured migrants who visit the pond for respite. The horrors visited on the local creatures by these malevolent beasts fade when compared to what awaits the innocent creatures standing in the way of the September migration through Poland and beyond.

I love you Monsta - all is forgiven. All pretence of me being reasonable is abandoned when considering that filth from The Stadium of Sh*te.

Probably not true. Remember that most child abuse and murder is committed by family members or by those known to the victim - so there could be one in every street.

I remember having my first (under-age) pint in the Railway back in the late 60's - Vaux Gold Tankard - a vile mackem brew! At the time I couldn't understand why blokes liked to consume beer until I was introduced to the Blue Star stuff - Ex & Broon. Of course there was always Fed at the Market Place Club. Ah, happy days.

Clean & smart. The up-to-date look represents what Bedlington should be saying for itself - modern & confident! Good job threegee.

I love it, I love it! Monsta'll be bleating-on about the 'good old Queen Mum' next. How she was the glue that held 'Dear Old Blighty' together during the last spot of bother. Conned, like most of the population, that the old girl was somehow our secret weapon against the Hun. Nonesense, of course; the gin-soaked old hag was living the life of luxury, gorging on black-market goods, whilst the rest of the population had to go without. Should have been strung-up alongside Lord Haw-Haw.

Well missvic, here goes ... Moet surely Great drummer riddled with demons Belle AND Sebastian clearly Not Percy? or maybe I just don't understand the mechanics of the test.

Ah, Monsta, Monsta, Monsta - you got me there! Hoisted by own petard - how embarrassing! However, before you disappear for a very short session of self-pleasuring by way of a celebration let me point-out that it was only ever my "aim" to provide good syntax, spelling, etc. An aim can only ever be an aspirational condition, never a pompous guarantee of perfection. Mmmm, but how to expain the missing letter .... maybe the Dragon voice recognition software couldn't accurately deal with my regional accent. Perhaps it was a sticking letter r on my keyboard - no, it couldn't be that as I gave-up the joys of self-pleasuring years ago (you'll discover that when you get to my age). Could it be down to the Rousseau effect (the philosopher Monsta, not that big fat Greek singer*) who after being abused by country bumpkins, escaped, and only later realised his mistake in not dealing with the problem immediately; of course by then it was much too late to rectify the error? Might it have something to do with a brain addled by chemotherapy dope - nope! Please Monsta (or should that be Monster) don't drag me off to the Camps ... forgive me. *the fat Greek bloke is of course Demis Roussos - my poor attempt at injecting some humour into the proceedings.

No suprise that I'm with the Colonel on this one - yep, the Bolsheviks had the right approach. With a bit of luck there'll be one less blood-sucking 'aristo' sponger around to enjoy the rest of his spoilt, privileged life.

She must be hopping mad!

Best wishes Joe - long may you keep us entertained with you incisive postings.

Hand over your dosh Monsta. Just because the Colonel's postings, like mine, may scan well doesn't mean we're the same person. My aim is to bring the correct syntax (good grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc.) to all that I write and by doing so hope make my point a little more clearly. CK may also share a distaste for some of the more unpleasant views expressed on this Forum. I would, however, be reluctant to 'gag' those who wish to proselytize the vile racist filth sometimes appearing here - let them show themselves up!

What's really disturbing is that people are actually watching breakfast TV or maybe they've just looked-up from reading that appalling rag The Daily Mail. Be grateful for living in a rich, multi-cultural society. Celebrate the black & Asian nurses and doctors who'll care for you when you're rushed into hospital. Be thankful for the Polish plumber who'll fix the leak. Maybe they worked hard to get-on in life, get qualified to help others; they probably didn't waste their lives watching morning TV and reading that hate-filled rag. When the pits and yards closed the parents of many of my school friends had to move away from the North East to find work - economic migrants. Many of these friends now live all over the world and have been welcomed by the locals; Diasporas happen all the time, shame on those who attack other groups! Maybe they just have fantasies of dressing-up in black uniforms, doing high-stepping marches and shouting orders.

A common bumper-sticker in the States is 'An Armed Society is a Polite Society'. The reasoning behind this is if you're obviously packing a weapon any perpetrator may think twice about targeting you 'cos they could get blasted back. The killer in the University shooting could have been sure that tight security (sic) - metal detectors, body-searches, etc. at entrances to buildings on all campuses in the States - would have ensured that none of the victims would shoot back. Would the death toll have been as high as 33 if the student body had been 'carrying'? The weak-kneed, yellow-bellied liberals will argue that by allowing people to carry weapons that it will somehow cause many more shootings, but I know that if I was faced with the situation of having a gunman bearing down on me, I would like to be able to defend myself with a bit more than pleading words and hysterical screams. New Labour banned handguns over here because of the Drumblane shootings and a public perception that gun-crime was out of control. Well guess what? Gun crime is at epidemic levels in some parts of the country and a large group of law-abiding people have been deprived of their sport and victimised. The cops in Scotland had the means of stopping Hamilton from shooting those kids and their teacher, but they didn't bother; he had form, was a known perv (with a record), all enough to prevent him access to firearms. But they granted him a Firearm Certificate! By the way, the Government has sealed all the files relating to Thomas Hamilton so we can't find out why he was granted permission to have guns. What have they got to hide?

All dogs can be trained, it doesn't matter what their temperament is to start with; the point is just how much patience the owner (trainer) has in getting it right. So clearly the resulting behaviour of any dog must be the responsibility of the owner. The trouble is that many owners haven't put the hours in to get it right - too busy with work/kids, etc. - resulting in lots of out-of-control mutts. The problem frequently hits the news when some child is half-eaten by the family pet (recently in Liverpool) but often when you get past the sensational headlines you discover the owners leave much to be desired in the responsibility stakes - disfunctional families, criminals, drug users, 'white trash', inadequates, or just plain stupid (depending on your view-point). The cops seem to have come-up with the appropriate charge, of manslaughter, in the Liverpool case; it'll be interesting to see if the Court has the guts to 'throw the book at her' if she's found guilty. Sadly, she probably get 35 minutes community service! What about dog !*!@#? It could be argued that as it biodegrades it is environmentally friendly, whereas litter dropped by people tends to blow around for years. Anyway, any responsible parent would prevent their kids from eating the soil thus avoiding ingesting the eggs of the eyeball eating worms. But of course any responsible dog owner would be treating their mutts regularly against worms. Responsibility? Who'll take responsibilty for anything these days!

Seagull fishing off the end of the pier in the 1960's - great fun then - shame at the thought of it now. Smashing bits of wood off the staiths to burn to keep warm through the night - searchlight & tannoy from Harbour Master opposite ordering us to stop (apparently our bonfire appeared as a 3rd light from out at sea). The Cornish wreckers could easily have been outdone. Ah, happy days!

Maybe they're the Health & Safety advance party planning a route for the Miners Picnic Marching Bands Re-enactment Society. This heritage event could be expanded to include a farewell speech by an ex-leader of the New Labour Party down at the bandstand (is it still there?).

I was a member of the 'old' Forum before it vanished, and waited a couple of years (or maybe more) for it to return. I had hoped that this reincarnation would be without those who had little to say, or if they did say anything, it would offensive, banal, etc. How disappointed I was to discover that they had made an appearance! On the old Forum I suspected the culprits were juveniles using a school network at lunchtime (or even during lessons, giggling in the back row as they posted). It seemed that any genuine enquiry or other posting was hijacked. Then the site went down and I missed news from home and of course Joe's postings from across the Atlantic. I gave this new Forum a chance but, like a number of others posting here, was getting fed-up with the offensive stuff. Brilliant that some steps have now been taken to 'clean-up' postings. I'll now stay and enjoy the genuine humour and honest banter, the news, the history, etc. Keep-up the responsible Moderating.

Is this the golf club built on the the old Costains opencast site (been away since the 60's)? Any prospective buyer/developer would be amazed at what was dumped in the hole before being cover over - this was in the days before the concept of environmental impact studies. Has anybody ever seen anything seeping out the ground at the river level below the site? I saw lorry loads of steel drums (contents unknown!), rubble, industrial waste, etc. being tipped. The most memorable was a huge quantity of cosmetic products, especially stuff like shampoo being left - somebody brought a load of it to Westridge School for use in the showers after PE lessons ... foam everywhere!! Probably infected loads of lads with skin infections. Symptoms