A Message From The Chairman

Dear Employee:

The Bank writes to advise you that your annual bonus will be capped at £25,000

this year. In these desperate times we must all make sacrifices, but you have

the board's earnest assurance that we have are making full provision to

compensate you for this gross imposition. Thus, next years bonus will be

suitably inflated to fully meet this year's shortfall (including generous

interest charge offset).

It is understood how demeaning driving around in an almost two year old Ferrari

may be for some employees. So, in order to mitigate this hardship, we have

arranged for commercial loans to be made available in order that you do not need

to further delay any major purchases. These loans will be financed from

emergency government funding that would otherwise have (reluctantly) been made

available to struggling small business. Taking into account the necessary

interest charge window dressing applied to any such funding the Board assures

employees availing themselves of these facilities that in no circumstance will

they suffer any net overall loss.

May I take this opportunity of wishing you all a very merry Christmas and a

Brown-free New Year. In closing I'm honoured to be delegated to convey your

Board's enduring message of "Profligacy as ever".

Your Chairman

Sir Archibold Snoutin-Troffe