Bedlington Bond

[keith lockey]

Hi everyone, at last I can announce the great news. I am the official new James Bond.

 

I have been chosen to replace Daniel Craig as 007 and I am well and truly chuffed. The competition was tough with Christian Bale, Daniel Day Lewis, Tom Hardy and Ronnie Corbett all vying for the roll but as you can see from the photograph I have been given the sanction of Daniel Craig himself who graciously handed over his licence to kill to yours truly at this reception at the Clayton Arms.

 

I hope this will not affect my relationship with everyone on this site so feel free to stop me in the street and ask for my autograph - £25 a signature, concessions to pensioners and Bedlington Terrier dogs.

 

I can also announce that my debut Bond film will be called…

 

A PILL FOR O.

 

[mercuryg]

How long did you work on that anagram, Keith?

[mercuryg]

By the way, I think you'd make a fine Bond. I hope you kicked the living daylights (see what I did there) out of Daniel Craig; his missus is the love of my life. Lucky sod.

[keith lockey]

How long did you work on that anagram, Keith?

 

Anagram!!! What anagram?

[Malcolm Robinson]

You have a bit of a Frank Gallagher look about you in that picture Keith????

 

 

  

[Adam Hogg]

We can guess who the next Bond Girl is going to be Keith.

[keith lockey]

There are some scurrilous knaves on this site who deem my selection as the new Jammy...er...James Bond...is nothing more than an April Fools prank. I can assure you there is nothing prankishness about this claim - and if you don't believe me you can phone my secretary at MFI - Miss Thruppennybit. Even better, contact my American counterpart, Helix Lighter-than-air...er...Felix Leitner at CIU HQ. I have been given a licence to trill and will go out tonight to celebrate with my usual tipple...Broon Dog. shaken, not stirred.

Edited April 1, 2014 by keith lockey

[Alan Edgar (Eggy1948)]

Tomorrow Never Dies

Keith "I always enjoyed learning a new tongue.â€
Moneypenny: "You always were a cunning linguist, Keith.â€