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Oh what a sleekit, horrible beastie Lurks in yer stomach efter a feastie As ye sit doon amang yer kin, There starts to stir a michty wind. The neeps and tatties and mushie peas, Stert workin like a gentle breeze But soon the puddin' wi' the sonsie face Will hiv ye blawin' a' ower the place. Nae matter whit the hell ye dae A?'body's gonnae huv tae pay Even if ye try tae stifle, It's like a bullet oot a rifle. Haud yer bum tight tae the chair Tae try tae stop the leakin' air. Shift yersel' fae cheek tae cheek An' pray to God it disnae reek. But a' yer efforts go assunder, Oot it comes like a clap o' thunder. It ricochets aroon' the room, Michty me! A sonic boom! God almighty, It fairly reeks (I hope a hivnae' shit ma breeks) Straight tae the bog ah better scurry Aw whit the hell, It's no ma worry. A'body roon'aboot me's chokin' Wan or twa are nearly bokin'. Ah'll feel much better fur a while, Ah cannae help but raise a smile. 'Twis him!! Ah shout, wi' accusin' glower. Alas, tae late. He's jist keeled ower. 'Ye mingin' clert!' They shout and stare. Ah amnae welcome ony mair. Where e'er ye be, Let yer wind gang free (Sounds jist the job fir thee an me) Whit a fuss at Rabbies pairty Ower the sake o' wan wee ferty. Anonymous

Ah think ah need an intorpritator for some of it! I church or in chapel just let it rattle, no matter where you be let the wind go free, (but not in a such a confined space and a captive audience!)

Went to see the Tall Ships in Blyth today and got fixed up with a date for Friday, I've got the one on the right so if anyone fancies the one on the left she's looking for someone with plenty money !