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Thank you kind sirs! I am delighted, honoured and humbled to receive this prestigious award. I coudn’t have done it without your help - and the help of Covid which gave me, and you, loads of spare time. There are a couple of others I’d like to mention and thank for their help along the way: My parents, who provided the raw material. The people of Bedlington and Netherton who moulded that material. Friends and colleagues around the world who made adjustments and amendments to the design. The many educational establishments who nurtured my thirst for knowledge. Esther at the corner shop. Tommy the milkman. The colliery pollis at Netherton. The next door neighbours, here and elsewhere. Santa Clause. The Witch of Wookey Hole. Moscardini’s coffee shop. Lidl’s. The staff of Keenleyside’s. The Swedish Government, for letting me in. The British Government, for letting me out. Bedlington YMCA. The Metropolitan Police Force. The Canadian Royal Mounties. The Toon Moor. Newcastle United FC. Morrison’s. SAAB motors. … and not forgetting: Robson’s the printers. Jack, the ice-cream man. Netherton Socail Club. Prestos, Market Place, Bedlington. Jimmy Millne. The French Onion Sellers. The Beano. The nr 48 United Bus. St Cuthbert’s Church. Doncaster Royal Infirmary. … and, last but not least, Old Uncle Tom Cobley (and all). Thank you once again kind people of Bedders.

Here it is, Eggy. It's long, as is the meal itself, but neither can compare to the preparation time! Of course, most of it can be bought ready to eat, or at least half prepared, but it's a fun meal to make if you like cooking which fortunately I do. I think it's pretty traditional in most households with at least 3-4 dishes from each of the groups I mention on the dinner table. It's served buffet-style but it's expected to be eaten in the order cold, warm, sweet and what you eat is up to the individual. Schnapps is an integral part of the meal, served by the host at every group, cold warm and sweet. They are frequently served again whenever anyone wishes to make a toast to anything and everything or even to start a singalong - which is often! There's usually a LOT of singing but we can take a break to watch Donald Duck at 3pm - Same cartoons EVERY year but as traditional as the Christmas ham. Britain has the Queen's speech, we have Donald Duck. How about Christmas in other countries? I'd love to know what's on the menu. here's what we'll be sitting down to- Cold fish dishes: Pickled herring, small pieces and at least 3 different kinds of which one must be in a creamy sauce. Herring fillets, breadcrumbed, fried and chilled. After chilling they may be pickled in vinegar and sugar. Herring salad, small cubes of cooked beetroot, mixed with small pieces of herring and chopped onion mixed with mayonnaise and/or soured cream. Boiled eggs, halved and topped with soured cream and shell fish/salmon. Salmon, 3 sorts 1) smoked, 2) pickled, raw and spiced, 3) whole, baked. Rolled herring fillets, oven baked in a sauce based on double cream mixed with fish roe, dill or 1001 other flavourings. Cold meat dishes: Brawn, at least 3 sorts, finely ground, coarsely ground and sliced cheek. Ham joint, oven baked or boiled, skin removed, fat left on and commonly coated in a mustard paste and grilled. Liver paté. Selection of smoked sausages. Leg of mutton, roast or smoked. Served with salads: Beetroot salad, diced cooked beetroot mixed with soured cream & black pepper. Cabbage salad, shredded red cabbage, mixed with skinned orange segments, raisins and a viaigrette dressing. Kale salad, chopped kale mixed with just about anything. Here, walnuts, pomegranate 'seeds', and an oily dressing. Warm fish dishes: Johnson's Temptation (literally translated), a dish of grated potato, fried onions and anchovies oven baked in double cream. Lye fish (literally translated), an air-dried white fish (usually Ling), rehydrated/picled in lye, washed in water daily for several days and then cooked in a cream sauce. Warm meat dishes: The Prince of sausages (literally translated), small sausages, a bit like chipolatas, cut so that they resemble small piglets when fried. Christmas sausage, pork naturally, a bit like polony. It can also be served as a cold dish. Christmas Meatballs, 75% beef 25% pork. (50-50 rest of the year). Thick pork ribs, grilled or roasted, glazed with honey and Xmas spices (Ginger, Cinnamon, Cloves). Dip in the pot (literally translated), all the liquid saved from cooking ALL the Xmas meats, reduced to about a third of its volume and used to dip wort-bread (see below). The soggy bread is then topped with whatever takes your fancy from the table - apart from the tablecloth. Served with warm vegetable dishes: Cabbage, at least 3 sorts, 1) Red cabbage, grated apple and raisins cooked in blackcurrant or apple juice, 2) White cabbage browned in butter then cooked in vegetable stock, golden syrup and a lot of Allspice, 3) Kale cooked in ham stock then finely chopped and simmered in double cream. Brusselsprouts, cooked and, here, glazed with honey and ginger but there are hundreds of variations. Carrot pie, a kind of warm cake made from mashed boiled carrots, boiled rice, cream, golden syrup, egg, milk and nutmeg. Topped with breadcrumbs and loads of butter before baking. Boiled potatoes. Not many people bother with these. They are mainly for the people who eat Lye fish to soak up the sauce which I'm told is delicious. I'll take their word for it! 'Must have' accompaniments: Mustard, several types and at least one new flavour every year. This year it's Gin and orange. Wort bread, a heavy, rye bread only eaten at Xmas. It's made with wort, the liquid byproduct of beer and whisky production. It can be bought in powder form here. The bread contains raisins and a lot of Christmas spices. Crispbread, several types and flavours. The Christmas cheese, a 2.5 kg cheese. The most widely eaten cheese all year round but at Xmas it has a red wrapper and we dress it in 'clothes' specially made for the occasion. Selection of other cheeses. Sauce for the pickled salmon, made from mustard, dill and oil. Pickled beetroot. Pickled gherkins. Sweet dishes: Rice pudding, soft and runny, cooked with cinnamon and served with a sauce made from fruit juice (must be red juice). Rice Maltese style (literally translated), Same rice dish as above but mixed with whipped cream and decorated with fruit. Gingerbread biscuits. Raisins and blanched almonds (for the mulled wine). Various sweets and chocolates. Mandarin oranges. Red apples. Dates, Nuts, Figs. With the exception of the rice dishes these remain on a side table after the meal and are regularly topped up for anybody to help themselves to right through to January 6. Drinks: Mulled wine. Christmas brew, a dark, strong beer specially brewed for Xmas. Schnapps, the more flavours the better. Julmust (impossible to translate) a type of root beer brewed only at Xmas. Non-alcoholic. Wine. Water. (Never seen anybody drink this but it has to be there! Mumma (no translation), basically a ready mixed Shandy. Weak drink (literally translated), a very weak beer (less than 1% alcohol). That's it but it's wise to include another course: Rennies (full strength) Milk of Magnesia

Moi! Well, maybe just a bit! Either that or I've been watching too many award ceremonies on telly.

Answers to last week's quiz: Micron Kidneys Rossini Eleanor 12 Flower arrangement Wallis Simpson North Sea Walker Pound Danish 3 (2 hydrogen + 1 oxygen) They had a weigh in a manger New quiz tomorrow and I'm preparing a Christmas special to keep you out of mischief on Christmas Eve.

Fortunately (for me also) there are other things on the dinner table. I'll see if i can translate the dishes to English for you so you can get an idea. It's world's away from turkey and Christmas pudding.