Pete
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Everything posted by Pete
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When I take a long time I'm slow When my boss takes a long time he's thorough When I don't do it I'm lazy When my boss doesn't do it he's busy When I make a mistake, I'm an idiot When my boss makes a mistake, he's only human. When I do something without being told, I'm overstepping my authority When my boss does the same, that's initiative When I take a stand, I'm being bull-headed When my boss does it, he's being firm. When I overlooked a rule of etiquette, I'm being rude When my boss skips a few rules, he's being original When I'm out of the office, I'm wandering around When my boss is out of the office, he's on business When I'm on a day off sick, I'm always sick When your boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill When I apply for leave, I must be going for an interview When my boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked When I please my boss I'm crawling When my boss pleases his boss, he's co-operating When I do good, my boss never remembers When I do wrong, my boss never forgets......
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The hit-and-run victim was just getting to his feet when a policeman ran up to help. "My mother-in-law just tried to run me over!" the shaken man told the cop. "The car hit you from behind," the officer said. "How could you tell it was your mother-in-law?" "I recognized the laugh!" he replied.
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Mr. Baldwin, the biology teacher called on Mary, "Can you tell me the part of the body that, under the right conditions, expands to six times it's normal size, and state the conditions." Mary gasped and said in a huff, "Why, Mr. Baldwin! That is an inappropriate question and my parents are going to hear of it when I get home!" She sat down, red-faced. "Susan, can you tell me the answer?" asked Mr. Baldwin. "The pupil of the eye, under dark conditions," said Susan. "Correct. Now Mary, I have three things to say to you. First, you have not studied your lesson. Second, you have a dirty mind. And third, boy are you going to be disappointed someday!"
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Knock Knock Who's there? Emma! Emma who? Emma bit cold out here, can you let me in?
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Q; What is a zebra? A; 26 sizes larger than an A bra.
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Q; Why do gorillas have big nostrils? A; Because they have big fingers.
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Q; Where do you get virgin wool from? A; Ugly sheep.
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Q; What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A; A nervous wreck.
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Q; What has four legs, is big, green,fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? A; A pool table
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Fire brigade phones Kevin Kegan in the early hours of Sunday morning... "Kevin, St James Park is on fire!" "The cups man! Save the cups!" replies kegan. "Well...the fire hasn't spread to the canteen yet, sir."
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Football
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Guinness
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Why Do The People Of Bedlington Not Get Behind Their Team?
Pete replied to Neil's topic in The Sports Club
Don't forget your scalf and rattle Fourgee -
Dinner and tea
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We can organise a telephone vote for a twopenny happeny TV show where people vote in millions but we cannot have a referendum on matter which effect the country/us greatly? Course they might just reflect the values in society these days......... Yes you are right Malcolm, people do vote in their millions for the supposed made for television reality shows but Brown is not going to organise a referendum he will lose. The point Threegee made is also true he won't call a general election because he knows he would lose that as well, so what kind of person is he, he obviously realises that the people of this country don't want him as Prime Minister at least I have not meet anyone yet or spoken to anyone who wants him as Prim Minister.
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Yes listened to the match report on radio Newcastle (Internet) Terriers had a two goal lead. Still can not get the pop up window anybody got a solution?
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soldier
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Most people today vote for the person that leads the party and not your local MP simply because its not your local MP that gets the publicity but the leader of the party, Bungler Brown became Prime Minister by default and not by election. Tony Blair won the election for the Labour party, yes people had to vote for their local MP but that was just another way of voting for Tony Blair. Whats the point in thinking that your local MP will get things done they only do what the leadership tell them or there out.
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Close Ck, three good points that move us up the table a little bit.
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Half Time, The Toon 1 0 Fulham Can the Toon get some more in the second half?
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The Toons got one after 7 minuets
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Is this another disapointing Saturday? The Toon 1 # Fulham
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How true, Bungler Brown the unelected Prime Minister
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A typical example is a steam train (A1) being built at Darlington, this train is being built from scratch. There is no one who can build the boiler in this country so they have had to go to Germany to get it built.