wonky

wish i was over there..lol..its crap having to work pharma plants when trapped in the body of a director/musician/clown. check out my first debut film on utube malcom,..davids 1st ride(osset 12.5) i just got so much gannin on i cant get nowt done..lol..come on the hollidays in may..tick tock..

just watched the three films and i must say that is was a delightful way to pass a sunday morning..i feel all warm inside now and a little homesick..time travel was a hoot and the best line delivered was ( it must have been that vortexy thing.)..still laughing.. its great to see youngsters having craic and doing somting constructive..fair play to all involved..respect.

poor margret..its a sad day when someone dies but as expected there will be diferent feelings where this one is concerned..personaly..if it wasnt for thatch i wouldnt have been forced to emigrate and my life would have been so much more diferent,,its not so long ago that she was in power and we are all still reeling from the mess she left behind..at the end of the day we all make mistakes and it takes a big man to admit it..its just a shame her dad didnt put her in a bucket of water at birth and kept his mistake to himself..i know its wrong to speak ill of the dead but i am willing to take my karma on the chin for this one. i remember a story from years gone by when there was a statue of her erected in grantham and the local council street cleaner knocked her bronze head off with a shovel because he couldnt stand looking at it any more..he should have been given a medal that bloke..my hero..

aye, the hockle..i remember a time when this lad who shall remain nameless rolled his phlem roond in his gob and sat on my chest and slowley let oot the hockle in a long controled drip in to my face..i can still smell and taste it...it was funny for him at the time but not so funny later when i did some wee into some dandylion and burdock and watched him drink it..it was an art though and the place was littered with juvinile hockle..thanks for that reminder of the past paul..im off to brush my teeth now..lol

front streets are suffering all over the place due to the big shops taking over and moving out of town centres..the small shops find it harder to compete and yes.it is mainly due to the big guns taking over and pricing the little guys out..there is always going to be people not cleaning up after their dogs and dumping rubbish and litter, sadly it what this world is coming to..long are the days gone by when you could stop and shop with pop.. an electrical shop on front st can not get by on just hoover bags alone. people are more afraid these days to take chances regarding their finances and every penny counts to some...if there was more money out there to be had,the place would be a brighter happier place..its a sad day alright when tesco and the likes take over but it would be worse for sure if they were not there...with out them there would be no ramp at the back to ride down on the trollys.

another canny one is the term..ahad.."this bloke set himself ahad " for example.. just last week a geordie mate of mine was working with me in the factory, we were cutting pipe with a grinder and sparks were flying al owa the shop..he said to me,,, "gan canny marra,ye`ll set the place ahad"..the paddy guy that was with us was in stitches and said that where ever we come from,they should have taught us english..lol...rich comming from a paddy..lol.

sadly i`d have to disagree..although clannad and enya are fair decent there so much more from irland that gets over looked. my old time fav is the great joseph locke and there are the furys who are still packing out halls around the world..i think daniel o donnell has had his day and is just getting silly now and married or not he is a deffo candadate for questionable sexuality.probably the best band of all to ever come from ireland is U2...but i personally think they are crap and not for me...when i listen to celtic music i prefer scottish. Bongshang...

sometimes its easy to get lost with headphones on..i once walked into a lampost whilst listening to bongshang and bumped me heed..i think i was obviously somwhere else at the time..check them out and if you ever get to shetland look them up for a cup of tea. http://youtu.be/GMk-0Wd93X8

i think all local radio is a good idea and a vital service for those unfortunates that dont get out the house..we have a local station over here and its great..it is also online and available to the millions of paddys around the world..also a great idea..if i was living in bedders i would probably tune in from time to time..but sadly i am not..if it gos on line i would tune in..to be sure..good luck with this venture and hope it gos well..

belter lads..!! and aye the poker was some piece of kit and was the only way you could make the hole in them days (pre black and decker)..lol..fencing staples were the way to go alright but like mentioned ..they would rattle out and youd get a wonky axle..lol.. the lunatic on rollerskates could also have been me..been there done that..lol i have memories of a propper organised bogey race happening there once a long time ago..i supose i was very young or dreamt it.... back in the early 80s i remember taking a short cut through the oval and my mate robbed some kiddies trycicle for a blast doon the bank..it was mental but only made it down once..some nosey neighbour had told the kiddies old man we`d nicked it and he came down after us and took it back..my mate reggie got a clip roond the lugg..and rightly so. i was a bit gutted i didnt get a go but delighted it wasnt me going home getting laughed at for crying like a girl... i think on my next visit i might bring my bike leathers and helmet and give it another go...kids toys are cheap these days and a lot less hassle than burning a half inch hole in a plank... rest in peace silver cross..lol.

aye..lol..just watched the linked video....the job would be nice and also rewarding but i dont think my dreads will go down to well..do you think i would have to wear a tie ?..it would be a challenging job opertunity for any one i think and have many perks and the odd brown envelope i`m sure . but at this stage in my life i have to say its not for me....so i`m out. . and i wont be investing.

back in the days of the chopper bike when days were longer i recon the bank top hill was good for 40 mph..seemed like a hundred at the time but that was before the zrx 1100 was invented.. one time i blew up the front wheel with too much pressure at the bank top garage and it blew out on me half way down..i was flaking it..."boomshanka"..that was the end of that tyre and the handle bars were never the same..it was a purple chopper i remember and with two mirrors..it was the end of the mirrors too..lol years later i went down on a mountain bike.. it was not as fast i think..the small wheel on the chopper gave it more of an edge.. i know there are loads who have done the same and that kids these days are still getting the fear blasting down the bank top hill..why not lets all get together in the summer ..get the cops to close the road and have a bogey race like the days of old..can any one remember a bogey race happening on the bank top or was it just me ? i remember skateboarding the hill too on one of my frequent trips to back to bebside from an illicit meeting with a dorty station lass or two.. i would be delighted to read of any horror stories regarding the bank top hill and all its glory..cheers..team wonky

aye..i remember them bogs well..there was always that very distinctive smell to them and the odd splatter of vomit due to the close proximity of the club..old fellas would be waiting for the bus back to netherton after cashing the pension and having a few bottles of amber..usually on a picnic day the bogs would be slooshed out with a bucket because they were generally hotching.they were also a haunt for the local black mack brigade and the grafitti was second to none if i remember corectly..good job the bogs were pulled down...it was a magnet for low lifes and germs..lol..nice pic though.cheers

jesus..take a joke lads..i always throw somting in for the st vincent de paul..it was them that kept us alive when we landed in ireland and dropped us coal,vouchers for the panto and zoo ect..my earlier post was just me being satirical..truth is though it is how many people think. i once met a scaffolder friend of mine in a shopping centre..he was earning around a grand a week and told me he had spent an hour trying to get out because the ashma society or ireland had all the exits covered..he was laughing..i was laughing at him and it was funny. ex bed.."you said you used to"..whats the story there ?..you dont any more ? ..and hey up foxy..aye ...it usually is for a good cause.. i think what tom tom was getting at is the fact that there just simply isnt enough to go around these days and hes had enough..i sympathise with him for his comments though in what i would consider a funny way. another thing that gets my goat is that they always put starving children campaign adds on at tea time.. hard day at work..just want to relax and have your dinner on your knee and watch hollyoaks . before you know it theres some poor unfortunate with their eyes full of flys and your trying to enjoy your chicken kievs and chips with processed peas...some times you just have to stop..switch off or tune in to another channel.from now on i will pack my own bags and throw some change in the bucket if i feel like it..slan.

i know..desperate isnt it..some times there is the odd bloke or woman standing by the pile or half empty trolly looking at you dead in the eyes and you just know they are saying to themselves as you walk up.." i bet he dont put nowt in ".. looking down their noses at you..you know what else gets my goat....organisations and schools wanting to help you pack your shopping bags..they are usless at packing usually and you end up having to buy another bag.

ive noticed that in bedlinton one would say "finga" where as in bebside it would be " finger".

aye..its all getting oot of hand now..lol..you may mock but the kebab story actually happened..i dont doubt that..walking roond the woods in drag dont gan on but i must say that fishnets and a cheerleeder dress is a definate no no..its just wrong...i wont go in to detail but belive me its wrong..loving the james joyce comment and will take it as a compliment..though i must say in all honesty..20 odd yrs in ireland and never read any of his work..perhaps you might recomend a book and i will give it a whirl.. back to the writers group...theres nowt i would enjoy more than writing a story...i spend every day god sends in a pharma plant telling stories and getting paid very well for the privalage...most of them are true..some are slightly exagerated and some are just plain stupid..i like the stupid ones the best..that must be the bedlington in me..lol..the caring sensible side must be the bebside.. sadly..my time at home is tied up with music ,telly and welding projects in the garage.. i work with a bloke called the handsome fitter..he was burned in a fire as a child,..then there is a guy called pebble in his shoe...he had a broken ankle and now has a serious limp..my gaffa is called the prince..his father was called the king..there is a guy called the swimmer..his name is mark morgan.. . he has a terrible habit of clearing his throat and spitting..mark spitz..hence the swimmer..they call me wonky..i think its because every thing i do is so all over the place..un even..un level....or maybe its because one eye is constantly looking at the other..i really must ask..good luck with the group and i will be looking in from time to time..even though it might be sideways..lol

lol..

well..cheers to merlin and co for the kebab insight to bedlington. thur 4th feb,,loaded up wonkys van and drove through the night to the toon from cork, five and a half hrs to belfast,two hrs kip in the van in the car park at the ferry port after just polishing off a loyalist kebab bought in the york st area of belfast..this was a bit nervy as hanging round in these areas after midnight with republican reg plates can warrant all kinds of trouble.no worries though and a smashing kebab,,will have to check out the catholic kebabs the next time,,!! woke up and on to the ferry for another three hrs kip..through customs with out any hassle and managed to get the poteen through as they were wrapped as gifts..lol. we then drove off through freezing fog with only the drivers wiper working and stopped for breakfast in dumfries about 8 am. that in itself is another story..!! after a leasurely drive at our own pace we arrived in bebside for the main course whitch was a visit to the old folks and a good old banter ect ect,,this was about mid day..traveling a total of 18 hrs in wonkys td5 landy as pictured on my profile. great buy that was.. two days of rest and i was ready for my kings mixed special kebab..saturday night bout 8 pm there i was in kings,,waiting my turn and like i said in earlier posts ..off to the hapeny woods car park for the nosh. after parking the van and sorting out the kebabs mrs wonky and i dived into the sauces and started pulling out strings of lamb like it was going out of fashion..not more than a moment later my driver side door was aproached by a right wierdo who thought we were dogging !! what a fright we got..lol..lol having been in ireland a long time i decided to have the craic with this sad little man..wound down the window and explained that we were on a kebab pilgramage and not doggers at all and that if he wanted to watch us eat our kebabs he would be more than welcome too...he did..lmao he was creeping us out a little bit but it was so funny at the time i played his game and even let some chilli sauce run down my chin a little just for a little nigella lawson tease for him, i think he liked that bit as he started fumbeling in his pockets for a hankie or something.. any ways to cut a long story short...i ended up having to chase him off with wonkys bat because what he was doing in the woods was very wrong..he was as mad as a badger in a bag that fella so if you go down to the woods today....be careful...that wasnt garlic sauce on my van door !! and back to the main topic...the kebab was good,,tell kings wonky says thanks if youre passing..cheers. lol..does this qualify..lol

and if it had been me she`d have thought,,,blimey,who is this lovley chunk of hunk waving his tackle at me,,i think i will go off in to the dunes and climb onboard that monster.second thoughts,,probly not..she`d have run a damn sight faster than she did..lol..seriously though...button mushroom..??..lmao

oh dear !!..i wonder was this the bloke who was hanging round hapeny woods carpark in an earlier post of mine..lol..the area in question in the article is a known gay hangout..years ago my mate lived and worked at the farm and we would often visit..he used to have terrible hassle..and often went out with a gatty to chase them off..it is a sad world when this carry on goes on in public places...i am not going to ramble on about gays..thats their buisness..however flashing some poor jogger is out of order..this man needs to be caught and exposed..lol..pardon the pun.. if this happened in ireland..the police wouldnt be informed.(probably not) and he would be caught and exposed...then probably go missing later in the week...usually irish sex offenders often end up living in the uk..and visa versa over here...ah divvent knah !!

aye..lol ..but do we like it..? i know the wife didnt but it goes down well on a friday nite in the pub with the uke.yes it was a pink facecloth,,pink rhymes with stink but i couldnt post that verse..even on utiube..lol..still got all me own teeth..but the announceation might have had somthing to do with the potteen i had gargled....cheers.

http://youtu.be/G5p9ej3DZxg an original composition bu wonky himself..coments welcome and apreceated..

more years ago than i care to mention..i vandalised the black bridge..i am openly admiting this now so as to be a more honest person..i know i was not the only person to do this but am probably the first to admit to it on line..thirty years im guessing..it was all the rage in those days..robbed a bucket of emulsion and painted bungo loves lovebug right across the middle.. on the east side of the bridge..6 ft high lettering in white..how cool was i..? traffic off the spine road bridge could read it .it was there for ages...to those people thirty years ago who were offended by this.i appologise..i am so sorry. i cut the rope on numerous occasions on the swing and once ..i was inside the bridge ..where it actually crosses the road ,,nr the bank top and did a poo on to a bus window,,double deccer going to blyth it was....hit it dead on the upstairs windscreen..to any one on the buss i apologise..i am so sorry.. its funny ,how you get older these things come back and you remember what a lunatic you were....i certanly was for sure ,to be sure ,to be sure. just wanted to get that off my chest..thankyouverymuch.

wey lad !!..last september i had a diesil bug in my tank on the td5..fierce problems and broke down three diferent times on three days at the same roundabout a mile from home..i knew it wasnt the roundabout as loads of cars had passed me as i waited for assistance..finaly.i opened up the tank and low and behold there was this huge slug like lump clinging to the pump housing..felt wierd and squidgy..emptied the tank into two drums, i had 50 ltrs of this fuel..washed out the tank with clean dry rags and filled with fresh fuel..new pump for safe measure..bought some bio medic and added a few drops and off i went..sorted.. yesterday my heating oil ran out and i decided to add this infected diesel fuel to the kerosene tank..knew it was dirty..so off to the bedroom and grabbed some tights out of the top drawer..the wife was in bed and i had disturbed her,,she was not too happy..what you doing in there ?..nothing i replyed and scooted off back to the garage with a handfull of nylon..nothing wrong with it..needs must !! lol i cut the bottom off a pop bottle..wrapped it in nylon and stuffed it full of tights to make my filter..like you would like..and started the slow process of filtering.. about 20 mins and 15 ltrs later in she came and caught me with ( apparently) the most expensive tights that she owened..i explained that it was to heat the house to of no avail..she said they were wolford tights and cost her 20 quid..cost me 20 quid more like it i thought.. did yous know that wolford tights are like the van dam plas of hoisery..when she found out that the bottle i was using was actually stuffed to the top with her legware she flipped out compleatley...and stormed out.. i went to the kitchen to wash up when i was finished,,appologised and threw her 50 quid..no use moaning on about a few old pairs of tights..gan oot and get yersell some stockings pet..shes ok now ..though why she wants all those diesel filters in her top drawer is beyond me !! wonky.