Malcolm Robinson

Irish Sugar Test One day an Irishman goes into a pharmacy shop, reaches into his pocket and takes out a small bottle and a teaspoon. He pours some liquid onto the teaspoon and offers it to the chemist. "Could you taste this for me, please?" The chemist takes the teaspoon, puts it in his mouth, swills the liquid around and swallows it. "Does that taste sweet to you?" says Paddy. "No, not at all," says the chemist. "Oh that's a relief," says Paddy. "The doctor told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar."

Howay............giving the rest of you a chance to win one of Keef2's excellent prizes!

Yep Anne Francis..........starred in Honey West ............sadly died last year.

Hmm yes my favourite sci-fi film...........probably Forbidden Planet. You can see elements of it in a lot of more modern stuff. Really cutting edge for its time.

Merc, fancy a swap..........I could do with that Paris trip if you would like to entertain those indigenous head hunters.........

All played sub captains?

Well done Keith............

Subject: Divorce vs. Murder A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I'd like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide? The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband." The pharmacist's eyes got big and he explained, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband, that's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CAN NOT have any cyanide!" The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and said, "You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

Alfred always seemed a very poor relation as a detective, maybe the consumption detective?

A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads "Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827". Then he realizes that the music is the Ninth Symphony and it is being played backward! Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him. By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the previous piece, it is being played backward. Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar. When they return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing, again backward. The expert notices that the symphonies are being played in the reverse order in which they were composed, the 9th, then the 7th, then the 5th. By the next day the word has spread and a crowd has gathered around the grave. They are all listening to the Second Symphony being played backward. Just then the graveyard's caretaker ambles up to the group. Someone in the group asks him if he has an explanation for the music. "I would have thought it was obvious" the caretaker says. "He's decomposing."

Keith, As a fellow sifi nutter I have to say that Superman film was a waste of CGI and dollars..........much like all the Superman ones really!

:lol:

Actually isn't Keeef2 running one of those competitions where no one really wants to win the prize? It's a bit like winning a first class cabin for the maiden voyage of the Titanic!

Named in songs?

You sure Merc.............

GGGG you might like to moderate this one.................... A young girl started work in the village chemist shop. She was very shy about having to sell condoms to the public. After a few weeks the owner was going on holiday for a couple of days and asked if she would be willing to run the shop on her own.. She had to confide in him her worries about selling the contraceptives. "Look," he said. "My regular customers don't ask for condoms, they'll ask for a 310 [small] a 320[medium] or a 330[large] so the word condom won't even be used. The first day was fine but on the second day a big black guy came in to the shop, put out his hand and said "Can I have 350 please”. The girl panicked. She phoned the owner on his mobile and told him of her predicament. "Go back in and check if he has a yellow bucket hanging between his legs" her boss told her. She peeped through the door and saw the yellow bucket hanging between his legs. "Yes !” she said " He's got one hanging there!" The boss said "Go back in and give him £3.50.... He's the window cleaner!”

They have all appeared as clowns?

You try telling the young people of today that..................

Stout Fellow.........

Adam, Google Rosa Parks.......

That's what you get for being a teacher keith!!!!!!!

Kind of Brett. We put the Park forward to be considered as a Queen Elizabeth 11Park and have been successful so we get things like that dedication plaque. Last Parks dedicated by a monarch were GeorgeV ones! 3 in the county have been successful two in Blyth and ours so lets promote the heck out of ours! We should hear this month if we have been successful in the associated funding package! That will pay for further upgrades and improvements a lot of which is based on the community consultation we did at the beginning of the year. One of the points about this 'vote for us' initiative is that we are working on further funding bids which will only be enhanced if we can show deep community support for the Park and area. There are other initiatives for the Park area being worked on too which we need to show support and need so get voting folks........................