Malcolm Robinson

1 hour ago, mercuryg said:

Really? Or are you pulling my leg here!

No I was looking at them from Parker's Bar at Tynemouth just a week ago and asked about them.  Been there for some time seemingly.  

Just one question merc and I don't want to enter the lovefest you have going with GGG, but when did we ever have an elected Prime Minister?  

If we elected our head of government..... as such......... it would be a republic as far as I can see?  

We mere mortals only get to elect Mp's.  

12 hours ago, mercuryg said:

Excellent, and should have happened years ago, I noticed ships off the mouth of the Tyne when I was on the beach yesterday. 

I believe they are deserted ones merc with just skeleton crews left on!!!!!!!!

..........and no one heard anything more about it until Columbus discovered it!  

http://www.portoftyne.co.uk/news/port-of-tyne/record-five-passenger-ships-in-one-day-at-port-of-tyne/

Now then we just need Bedlington on their itineraries........  

Unheard of before but 5 passenger ships into the Tyne today...........all disgorging tourists with foreign exchange to spend!  

They are calling it "Super Tuesday"!  

Already up on this board Eggy!!!!!!!

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet.

He also ate very little, which made himrather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him. (Oh, man, this is so bad, it’s good. . .) A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

I've only done two of those Cannylass......

Yep and on top of that I know quite a few people holidaying in the UK now!  

Exchange rates only matter when you buy products in that currency or need it for the likes of holidaying.  

We have just made British labour, already one of the most productive in Europe, even cheaper for any international investment and with interest rates such as they are there must be sizeable investment capital looking for a home.   

Did whoever inspected the premises sign it off in March?  

And is this the one for sale now?  

 All drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. 

Example: the trade name is Tylenol and its generic name is Acetaminophen; Aleve is also called Naproxen. 

Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin, and Advil is also called Ibuprofen. 


The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra.  

After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin.

Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. 
So it will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. 

Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of 'cocktails', 'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drink'. 

Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT-&-DO. 

Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. 

This means that by 2020, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

They have been asked to correct it Merc...............you just can't get the staff these days!  

cannylass................

"However, there's great concern that this is now happening among the present generation of youngsters who are adopting the English sexual swear words - and using them in all the wrong places!"

Or as the famous quip goes.......not necessarily in the wrong places but certainly at the wrong times!  

Dart board cover more like!!!!

Actually, and you may appreciate this merc, I used to write stuff up on my shop windows advertising my promos.......and spelt some of the words wrongly!  Surprising how many people came in to tell me anti-freeze wasn't spelt Aunty Freeze!  

This simple trick has many people talking and a ,lot of kids writing in!  They all now get free rides this weekend!  

Ill get a pic later cannylass I have a photoshoot to do this afternoon anyway.................ohhhh get him!  

I'll tell all the young kids we are hoping to attract with that upside down poster that the adults on here are poking fun at it!  

Oh and BTW quite a few have replied and claimed a prize!  

Its actually for a prize!  

Diego Maradona decides to come out of retirement and play for Chelsea, he goes into the changing room to find all his team mates looking a bit glum.
"What's up boys.?" He asks.
"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only Liverpool. They're total shit and we really can't be bothered".
Maradona looks at them and says "Well I know I'm over 60 now and a bit fat and grey, but I reckon I can beat them by myself, you lads go down the pub, I'll sort this out."
So Maradona goes out to play Liverpool by himself and the rest of the Chelsea team go off for a few beers. After a few pints they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the TV on. A big cheer goes up as the screen shows
"Chelsea 1 (Maradona 10 minutes) – Liverpool 0
He is beating Liverpool all by himself..! Anyway, a few more beers later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers "It must be full time now, let's see how he got on" They put the TV on.
"Result from the Stamford Bridge: Chelsea 1 (Maradona 10 minutes) – Liverpool 1 (Sturridge 89 minutes)
They can't believe it, he has single handed got a draw against Liverpool..!
They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate him. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sat crying with his head in his hands.
He refuses to look at them. "I've let you down I've let you down"
"Don't be stupid Diego, you got a draw against Liverpool all by yourself. And they only scored at the very very end..!"
Maradonna says "No, No, I have, I've let you all down.!. Cos I got sent off after 12 minutes..!".

..........and Merc do you really think I sit down and write up all the dammed fine jokes I post, especially as some are written the the American vernacular!  

Well I think they are funny enough to be shared.  

Actually webtekker they seem much more open these days.  I know some community groups who hire their hall and I've just got a community defibrillator out of them.  

I suppose it depends on who you 'talk' to of course.