Malcolm Robinson

The Mexican Maid. The Mexican maid asked for a pay increase. The wife was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise. She asked: "Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?" Maria: "Well, Señora, there are tree reasons why I wanna increaze." "The first is that I iron better than you." Wife: "Who said you iron better than me?" Maria: "Jor huzban he say so." Wife: "Oh yeah?" Maria: "The second reason eez that I am a better cook than you." Wife: "Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?" Maria: "Jor hozban did" Wife increasingly agitated: "Oh he did, did he???" Maria: "The third reason is that I am better at sex than you in the bed." Wife, really boiling now and through gritted teeth. "And did my husband say that as well?" Maria: "No Señora....... The gardener did." Wife: "So how much do you want?"

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1209841/ROBERT-HARDMAN-The-PC-supermayor-slashed-public-spending-axed-pointless-jobs-banned-word-diversity.html

I think so too keith. If Brian and Vic read this they might like to print out the PDF’s and put them up in their respective community centres or whatever? In fact if they PM me with address I will send them the proper leaflets…….. If we are still on for that drink soon Brian I can give you one then?

A maverick mayor elected after promising to slash council spending, clear the streets of yobs and ditch politically correct services is the torch-bearer for how towns should be run. On his first morning as Mayor of Doncaster in South Yorkshire , Peter Davies cut his salary from £73,000 to £30,000 then closed the council's newspaper for "peddling politics on the rates". Now three weeks into his job, Mr Davies is pressing ahead with plans he hopes will see the number of town councillors cut from 63 to just 21, saving taxpayers £800,000. Mr Davies said: "If 100 senators can run the United States of America , I can't see how 63 councillors are needed to run Doncaster ". He has withdrawn Doncaster from the Local Government Association and the Local Government Information Unit, saving another £200,000. Mr Davies said, "They are just talking shops". " Doncaster is in for some serious untwinning. We are twinned with probably nine other cities around the world and they are just for people to fly off and have a binge at the council's expense". The mayor's chauffeur-driven car has also been axed by Mr Davies and the driver given another job. Mr Davies, born and bred in Doncaster, swept to power in the May election with 24,244 votes as a candidate for the English Democrats, a party that wants tight immigration curbs, an English Parliament and a law forcing every public building to fly the flag of St. George. He has promised to end council funding for Doncaster 's International Women's Day, Black History Month and the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender History Month. He said, "Politicians have got completely out of touch with what people want. "We need to cut costs. I want to pass on some savings I make in reduced taxes and use the rest for things we really need, like improved children's services". Mr Davies has received messages from well wishers across the country and abroad as news of his no-nonsense approach spreads.

Here is the Guide................ Bedlington CA Leaflet p.1.pdf Bedlington CA Leaflet p.2.pdf

Keith........ I have just approved your icle post on the Northumberland chat so thats working now. I am still laughing about the above posts............ :dribble:

Well keith thats just on a good morning!

I have just posted a test on the Northumberland Chat and it behaved normally.

I am blank most of the time foxy but I have put a pic on my avatar now.......... Normally if a posting needs approval it comes up in red on the mod screens and one of us has to approve it but as GGGG says thats in the announcements section not the chat forums? I have never seen one auto flagged in the chat sections.

You must have ''ultimate mod' status!

Not on my screen foxy?

Bit of both Merlin! I think we have the beginnings of several exciting initiatives in the Town and if only one or two come off then we are that much better off. The thing is the community has to get behind them and if that means doing a bit of volunteering, buying a ticket or taking part it’s a small individual price to pay to drag the Town into the 21st century and show the rest of the county we want something better for our Town.

I think this is exactly what we have to do Merlin, if we want to see any sort of improvements/development we have to do it for ourselves. Most of the other people there had spent the day doing hard work at another ‘community’ project and thanks to everyone who gave up their Sunday to help out there. I don’t expect any sort of help from ‘officialdom’ but then again woe betide anyone getting in the way! First steps but they are good steps, we can all see what needs to be done let’s just get on a do it!

And I am not going to say what 'Wor Lass' said!

Just asked my lad and he says………..pigs testicles, hmmm yummy. Other stuff for me, roasted beast tongue, heart, sheep brain, frogs legs, snails but the worst was oysters, like sucking out a seaside pool after someone had gobbed in it!

Nowt the matter with cow heel keith! Tripe when you know what it is, but with a bit of salt, pepper and vinegar......hmmmmm.

Wait till you see the new Heritage Guide for Bedlington...........its good, in fact its very good! I will post it up as soon as I get it in the right format.

Chchchchchchanges........................

My wife and I went to the Great Yarmouth agricultural show and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, 'THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR' My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs ......Smiled and said, 'He mated 50 times last year, that's almost once a week.' We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, 'THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR' My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, 'WOW ~~ That's more than twice a week! ..........You could learn a lot from him.' We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters, 'THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR' My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said, 'That's once a day ...You could REALLY learn something from this one.' I looked at her and said, 'Go over and ask him if it was with the same cow.' My condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and I should eventually make a full recovery..

European money laundering explained...........