Malcolm Robinson

Mine are not publishable.............. After agreeing to subsidise the swimming for our kids during the holidays, promoting it and after getting a great response this!!!!!! Sometimes even I wonder if fate is against us!

Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck until one day; he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it. The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition. He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years. 'Well, it's quite simple, really,' says the seller, 'whenever the Bike is outside and it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain.' And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline. That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her Parents. Naturally, they take the bike there. But just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, 'I have to tell you something about my family before we go in.' 'When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.' 'No problem,' he says and in they go. Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes. They sit down to dinner and sure enough, no one says a word. As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation. So he leans over and kisses Sandra. No one says a word. So he reaches over and fondles her. Still, nobody says a word. So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table and has his way with hers her right there, in front of her parents. His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word. He looks at her mom.. 'She's got a great body,' he thinks. So he grabs the mom and has his way with her every which way, right there on the dinner table. Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence. All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder and it starts to rain. Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket... Suddenly the father shouts out ... ' OK I'll do the ******** dishes!!!

An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, 'Seven Points.' His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?' The old man replied, 'its fart football.' A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, 'Touchdown, tie score...' After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, 'Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7.' Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, 'Touchdown, tie score.' Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, 'Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.' Now the pressure is on for the old man. He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard. Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally poops in the bed. The wife says, 'What the hell was that?' The old man says, 'Half time, switch sides

Frogs…..outbreak of WW11 biggest army the world had ever seen…..largest land defence works and the Germans walked around it in 2 weeks! Number of Frenchies in 1940……about 45,500,000 Number of Frenchies in resistance….100,000. Nuff said!!!!

Its the longest day weekend Brett.......if that makes sense! And seamus if you want to go to Bedlington Picnic you have to go to Ashington these days! Far better come to Bedlington Street Fair........on this weekend.

Oh dear..........you never lose a silver tongue do you Foxy!

Just saying ............................. http://www.dransfield.co.uk/news.php?id=915

Just come across this old one............blues with perfect enunciation...........

Come and see what going on in Bedington!

You know you try and do your best and give people what you think they might appreciate and by and large they do but there are always some little scrots who try and spoil it for everyone. So we have this one with the paint scratched off one arm and another with David scratched into the arm. I'd like a 'word' with David!

Thats a bit of a problem, for various reasons, Merc but it is being worked on!!!!!

Sneak peek...... And..................

Got them in the newsletter Sym.........I'll see if I can get a digital version..........

Again Bayard thats the point..........cleaned up, stamped with our brand and fit for purpose!

That was the idea merc...

The whole site is getting cleaned up.........

Next Thursday Maggie.........and thanks for the endorsement about the railings......

ALL of the info on why this site has stood so long is coming out in the next WBTC newsletter. It's being put before you for you to make your minds up because of the discrepancies in the explanations.

We didn't stop them last time because of bad decisions made by the commanding elite......

Thanks folks........