Dave

So you like biblical !*!@#

"Any animal which has its testicles bruised or crushed or torn or cut, you shall not offer to the Lord or sacrifice within your land..."

Leviticus 22:24

not really .... that was a tommy cooper one..

HE WHO WEARS A BULLET PROOF VEST SHOULD NOT COMPLAIN..........WHEN HE GETS SHOT IN THE !*!@#

The american Abrams M1 Main Battle Tank uses 10 Galleons of fuel .... to warm up, before it can go anywhere . Slightly worse fuel economy than an average yank SUV

The american Abrams M1 Main Battle Tank uses 10 Galleons of fuel .... to warm up, before it can go anywhere . Slightly worse fuel economy than an average yank SUV

galleons?!?!

coka cola used to have real cocaine in it ... not like these days

this thread needs ressurecting . i think its alot more interesting than stuff posted recently , i intend to use this factoid in conversation later .Anymore factoids?

So the jocks have their ban in order ... now if they could stop injecting drugs and stabbing each other thier life expectancy could go up

" There is no such thing as society " - Margret Thatcher - Former Prime minster, war criminal ... and milk bottle snatcher

Has this site once again "gone to the dogs" with infantile comments, its a crying shame really,

I personally feel sorry for the person/persons who have spent there time,money and effort for this site to be available for the public domain and then see it ruined by certain individuals who see it as THERE personal message board.

I mean some of the postings mean absolutly nothing to the majority so why bother?

If and when the site owners "pull the plug" the individuals concerened may then revert to texting each other and keeping there infantile comments to themselves?

Well BOO HOO. I'll keep an eye out for the thought police , however in the mean time i'll say what i want thanks, and your free to do the same.As for this station slasher i've no idea what its about, seems quite vague .But if you want to talk about something else come up with a topic.. simply really.

:D :D :D a smile brightens any day!

if only the top end tit tugger (or similar) had appeared tonight... t'would have made a number of bored birds very happy!!

Its true .. they all want it up em.... and need it by the look of most of them.

All very cavalier guys, when did it become ok for violence on the streets? I bet you'd all be whimpering if it happened to you. 'Humour', there's enough of the sick variety in some postings hereabouts. I just hope potential visitors don't think that you are typical of the "enlightened" views of local people.

HUH?

The Front Street rocks again, all hail the Lion biting back.

That amsterdam post made me think back to when i first visited that den of filth, 30 gilders s*** and f*** back then , the place was packed with lesbians , especially teasers bar,they were checking out the strippers, they didnt take to kindly to a friend of mine jumping up on the bar and swinging his overgrown manhood in their faces, haha niether did the bouncers.....ahh memories.

WARNING: this is being written by a Southerner - all grammatical errors are deliberate. To start then, our tale begins a place I refer to as the space/time continuum hole (AKA The Railway or The Railway Tavern-if you happen to be a pedantic cab driver...). The place looked like the Annual British Airways Hostess Convention - that many quality ladies with full kit in attendance, and Christine with a bag she could barely lift (all the cava & salty snacks), so fair to say we had all the ingredients for a total piss-up 30's style. (Who the hell drinks Cava in their 20’s?)

Whilst trying to sample the delights of said establishment, scoff my lunch (thanks hen!), get introduced to all in attendance, exclaim joyfully about my journey thus far AND not choke, the mini van arrives complete with grumpy arthritic driver. So snecklifters snecked, bags stowed and a serious amount of giggling already begun, we waved farewell to Bedlington and set out for our jumping off destination (North Shields- winner of the best car park award, since Christine had thankfully parked hers at home).

During our brief stop en-route, the first rule of the weekend was initiated. Madame Christine, managed to say the phrase "to be honest" four times in two minutes - although not too excessive in itself- it become something we could penalise her for, and it meant we could cram a phallic reference into the proceedings; top marks on all fronts then.

So then, after trooping through reception with a few minor indiscretions committed, we finally located our lodgings. For those who have yet experience the joy of overnight ferry travel, lets just say the question “What does it feel like inside a tube of Pringles” need never cross your mind again. By the time we was sorted and settled (in the case of our cabin, a rather artful display a full range of liver-quivering spirits arranged & all else tipped out) we felt the onset of cabin fever, so retired somewhere less cramped.

Accordingly, corner and cocktail menu presented themselves so we got stuck in, and Christine told us all the things she was willing to do, or we’d have to try and get her more pissed; and we all love a challenge, don’t we?

Unfortunately we had to interrupt proceedings for food and a few bottles of wine later, Ms Burch and I were taught how to snap an apple in half courtesy of Julie. In fact, Janet and I were so impressed with this newly acquired skill, that we thought we’d teach everyone else later, thus justifying making off with half the apples on the boat.

Eventually, we all settled down to play happily with in the more traditional pub area of the boat, featuring its very own Jeff Beck on guitar. Once all the gang were settled, time for the first penalty of the day, involving a chair, Passoa (Archers type stuff), and some rather nifty throat action (Steady). The challenge laid down was for our Christine to stand on a chair, with a mouthful of Passoa and gargle the alphabet. She did a grand job of this task -once she stopped trying to laugh and checked what letter follows S with her Ma-that is

Few bevies later, Janet and I went in search of some cultured entertainment and ended up watching Graham Norton’s less talented dancer cousin showing off his belly button and girls dancing with luminous platter-sized poppadoms, found it all a bit much, and went in search of the Karaoke. Some of you may know this but for those who don’t Christine and I are cross country pals, so when I got her to sing Unchained Melody, the idea was that she’d belt out a good ‘un and cringe about the song being so cheesy. Well, the girl was cringing alright; mainly cos she was stuck on a stage with a song she didn’t know the words to.

Sadly, due to matters of a buttock-clenching (me) and wallet-emptying (pricey bar) nature, we soon after chose to adjourn to our cabins for a spot of private drinking (READ: MORTAL SESSION). This was in fact the epitome of our excesses, thanks to Amsterdam’s unique blend of sex and drugs and rock’n’roll – more of that later.

Being as us girls love any excuse to dress up, Christine and I took it upon ourselves to pack garments with delusions of grand fur, therefore at shitfaced o’clock, we thought the twins, POLLY and ESTER should go for their constitutional. Upon leaving the cabin we stopped to indulge in some playful rhetoric with a few retiring gentlemen, when the boat suddenly lurched, resulting in one poor soul being given a fireman’s lift to his bunk, having mysteriously soiled himself with Cava. Have I mentioned it was a rough crossing?

After attempting to reach the stern of the boat and giving up, we again sought sanctuary and fresh eyeliner in our cabin, with larks aplenty until lights out - at around 4 - at which point some !*!@#tards began knocking on our door. After vaulting from bed to offer said crapwits a sound beating by way of a thank you, the parties involved promptly hid. Wusses.

Four hours later following superhuman efforts by all to get clean, clothed and not piss anyone off X 3, we made for brekkie and the delights of Amsterdam. Coach trip and the sights; bicycle park, windmill, Anne Franks House, Heineken building, men pissing in perforated containers, wing mirrors on buildings, architecture, lecture on locks, and finally: Downtown Amsterville. After stopping for water and coffee, and water, we reached a conseus of where we were heading. So after loading up with more water, we headed to the floating flower market, schmoozed around some shops, and found a lovely cobbled street for Christine’s next punishment. Our lass is a bit of a Judy Garland fan as some may be aware, so it was fitting to make her skip 500 meters to the end of the road in the manner of Dorothy on the yellow brick road. Given the severe punishment being meted out by our bodies for the night before, proof the girl has steel cajones. After doing what girls do best (shopping), we got serious. Remember the bit about sex and drugs and rock’n’roll? The sex came in the form of locating the red light district and taking photos of ladies in windows – getting called a whore by a whore was an unexpected bonus-, the drugs came in the form of a spot of coffee in a café with a specialty in unusual smelling brownies and the odd Dutch rollie. Christine did in fact suggest caution -had a nice ring to it- but !*!@# it. Head first inhalation of space cakes by the brave. Events get a bit hazy from there. I recall certain purchases, marshalling a group photo in front of a war memorial, and then my architecture geek kicked in and I lost the ladies. We re-grouped on the coach back to ferry, and it was clear at that half of us were communicating in BLINK, so retiring to our rooms for a quiet chill-out (yeah, right) would be most beneficial to all. Now comes the rock and roll and my new favourite game. Take 2 slightly squiffy ladies, one film soundtrack and play 10 seconds of each song, watching their faces…hilarious & worthwhile as Rufus Wainwright’s version of Hallelujah is religious experience (Shrek 1 OST for those who want to know). Somehow we managed to change into costume, and after playing cats cradle with dresses, wrestling with slap etc we were fit to dine.

Miraculously, the meal passed with no serious transgressions on anyone’s part & no contraband made it back on this occasion. Full credit must be given to all those who got fully kitted out, most memorably, those who were likewise “below par”. There was an attempt to join in with those who were fully compos mentis, and Christine did a fine job of Gina Lollabridgada, whilst cutting a rug with Kim Basinger to Mustang Sally. From that point forward, I think its fair to say it was a general meleé of drinking, dancing, and all round daftness, culminating in an astoundingly astute move towards a power nap to the next dawn.

Once again, cabin chaos till brekkie, followed by a spot of petty larceny (salt & pepper grinders) Duty-free tour & my Ivor the engine impression so as not to give the authorities reasons to get the rubber gloves out…

And so to the finish whereupon the lasses were reunited with their loved ones and I finally got to watch some footie!

i didnt realise speed made you type !*!@# as well as spout it

Any news gossip or scandel happening? -- Up the street for example , need some hometown stories , had a guy floss his teeth with 3 rounds last week, what a way to book out!

i can imagine mrs beava isn't too pleased about him visiting such establishments!

he was probably blagging me , everyone looks old compared to him and dougie, he also said they played some motor head!!!

The new proprietor certainly seems like an affable sort: free pool on Thursdays, 50p a shot “I’m going to make this into a fun place”, he said, seductively stroking his be-tracksuited teenage beau’s knee, “I used to have the red lion, when it was good, 2004-2005”.

I showed some concern at this point about the standard/ level of music that was heard blasting from the lion 2004-2005, however mien host had this issue under control “The music will be in the pool room, this [the bar] will be the communication room, it's going to be fun”

I felt at ease immediately, however not enough to stay any longer, so left my drink and vacated the premises swiftly.

Should I gain further courage (or a gang to accompany me) I shall return to ascertain any further plans.

strange. when someone actually says things like "things are gonna be fun" , they invariable not

strange. when someone actually says things like "things are gonna be fun" , they invariable not

the're i mean . had a text of my mate beava , says there's loads of jail bait gets in there now ....quality

So we can assume that the works of Elvis Presley, Frank Sinatra and many Motown artists is inferior to that produced by talented muso's like Rammstein?

Elvis rocked!!! and boy could he eat!!!!

Which one? Richard, Derek, William or maybe another one of the many cockney's living in Bedlington ?

GRAHAM Birch the previous owner of the Sun Inn, quite sure he's not a cockney, are we being invaded by non local cockneys? just set the local yoofs on em and send em packing. they seem to keep everyone else away .... see rebecca bedlingtons last post.

and another dentist bites the dust...

well they've become private anyway...

however, fear not, as for £11.50 per month the gracious Fleming will service YOU! (though only for some things; the expensive stiff you'll have to pay for)

although some cynics may see this as a venture motivated solely by financial gain, please be aware that this decision has been made because of "enormous pressures" from the NHS and has been made "after months of soul-searching"

oh, and if you're still not convinced that paying the Fleming the price of a few pints and take-away every month will be to your advantage, don't forget that a new "young, talented dentist [who is] a grade 8 violinist and player/manager of his own football team" will no doubt be able to do anything he puts his gifted mind to.

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just brush twice and floss every day and save yourself a fortune , dentists aren't necessary in these days of sonic tooth care ...so !*!@# em!

Ha! Don't even walk round Bedlington if you're not 'local'! Despite having the same surname as the place and using my card in the supermarket confirming my namesake status, the checkout lady had to get the supervisor as she didn't believe that was my name...and outside the situation got worse when some chavs asked if I had a light (I said no) after which they shouted abuse and told me to !*!@# back to where I came from! Gladly! Not only did I !*!@# myself but I'm starting to think Wigton, Cumbria is not so bad...scary!

Other than that I agree that there should be more music in Bedlington. We went out in the town and it did appear slightly dead!

In 2004 i was hospitalised 50 meters from the large law enforcement establishment in bedlington while walking pissed back from the street.Maybe its a coincidence but ever since that place went up so has the likelihood of getting a good piece of shoe pie while strolling back from the bar, of the local baseball cap wearing hingoots.Admittadly the lamp post i ran into trying escape the shoeing didnt help. The little scams!!!

saw birchy on new years day and he says he's pondering taking it over again , but doesnt wanna pay for it.

heard the red lion is to be come a weatherspoons in the very near future!!

i heard weatherspoons wont rent places , so they must be buying it.

Just had a walk round bedlington for an hour and i reckon the it needs a new years resolution to smarten itself up, there was rubbish all over itself , and it needs to sort out that old scout hut on churchlane as its let it get into a right mess. Plus it needs to get round the WDC and grab all the cash its owed and get itself a new get up!!!!

According to the 'News Post Leader', the Port of Blyth is to spend £7million on developement of facilitys to import coal into the region, coals to Newcastle seems to be a reality

what a waste of money!! there's dozens of coal mines round these parts.... and in other news........they've all gone

Pathetic

merry christmas

Hi everyone in Bedlington

My name is Rebecca Bedlington and I am interested to know if there is anyone who knows the history of my surname? I am from Cumbria and have visited Bedlington but I am unsure where the connection with my name is! If anyone can help it would be great!

Regards

Rebecca

hail queen rebecca , are you taking over The Sun !!