Symptoms

Cor blimey! pil. Sounds a bit like life in a grand old manse in the gentile Cotswolds.

There's no excuse for sloppy writing, poor grammar and dodgy spelling ... unless, unless, unless, what's been produced has been created on a piddly little phone; the small keys/fat finger combo.

Maggs - I always had you figured as a snuff snorter or even a chewing baccy muncher ... a bit like those good 'ol boys gals often seen of Yankee films of the Deep South. Picture the scene: Maggs, with elbow on the bar in the Red Lion, booted foot on the brass rail, clearing the baccy juice into the spittoon via a deep houk'n-up & hocklin' oot, then downing a stiff shot of sourmash. Yeehaw!

Seven years old ... cousin and me nicked our Grandad's baccy tin from the hearth beside his chair and went into Grandma's bathroom. Lit up one of his roll up we found in the tin with his petrol lighter (which he made during WW1 whilst in the trenches ... made from an .303 cartridge case). Coughing and spluttering we were heard by Grandma who made us open the door ... "have you been smoking in here" she asked, "no" we said emerging from the fog. Captured good and proper, wacks from Grandma but a smile (which Grandma didn't see) from Grandad. Grandad used to flake his old dog-ends into the tin to re-use and to save lighter fuel/matches had a box of spills on the hearth. Frog snouts were my tabs of choice when older ... I loved the taste/smell but I haven't smoked in years. The Frogs have changed the recipe of Gitanges so they are now just like most other tabs ... I recently bought a pack in Paris to remind myself of the 'old days' but was so, so disappointed that the distinctive flavour has been removed. Probably the EU's fault (Maggs politics alert).

I reckon all these computer rendered characters in these modern takes on the old classics look very, very creepy.

Before you take-up the stubby pencil in the voting booth you might like to check-out what all the shysters pocket. In the Guardian today there's a report featuring the work of a couple of IT wonks who've created a 'one-stop' website to allow us to check; they also have downloadable aps for those who want to add a button to their browser of choice: www.membersinterests.org.uk I know the info is available elsewhere but this site saves having to mine down through Government sites.

Vote Graphene ... where the real future lies. Je suis hexagonal lattice

Safest place to be after merc has honed the tip of 4H.

Just in case folks missed it I posted the following in the kipper thread (apologies to the all powerful Mods if duel-posting is naughty and Sym is due a spanking) .... "The Bossgreen suffers from the same image problem which infects Millleeeeband ... the voice. A voice perfectly suited to advertising Fosters lager in OZ doesn't sit well spouting off about the evils of fracking or how we'll all grow two heads if we munch GM snaggies. As for Millleeeee ... can anybody take him seriously when he doesn't even honk his hooter into a Kleenex before being interviewed? What's the odds that the fragrantly delightful Caroline Lucas doesn't nudge the OZBossgreen aside to star in the GE telly debates?"

The Bossgreen suffers from the same image problem which infects Millleeeeband ... the voice. A voice perfectly suited to advertising Fosters lager in OZ doesn't sit well spouting off about the evils of fracking or how we'll all grow two heads if we munch GM snaggies. As for Millleeeee ... can anybody take him seriously when he doesn't even honk his hooter into a Kleenex before being interviewed? What's the odds that the fragrantly delightful Caroline Lucas doesn't nudge the OZBossgreen aside to star in the GE telly debates? 6000 complaints to Ofgerm about the C4 kipper battering ... I didn't know they had that many members to dragoon.

Well, I watched Meet the Ukippers on the iPlayer and to be honest I thought it was one of those spoof things the Beeb does so well ... Twenty Twelve (the Olympic thing) or W1A (the Auntie management skit). But no, it wasn't a mockumentary but the real deal. I am now convinced that the rest of us have nothing to fear from the kipper battalions. All these middle-aged/old fatties would certainly find it difficult to mount a version of the beer hall putsch and mount a torchlight parade waddle to power. The Swiss Red Cross don't have enough defribrillators and oxygen tanks to revive the weezing columns during the anschluss of Westminster. Je suis Sym.

Remember what I wrote above: "...all politicians are shysters and cheats, none of whom can be trusted." Rifkin (Tory) and Straw (Lab) suspended today from their parties for 'trousering the monthly manilas'

Pete, to paraphrase Harold Macmillan and Oscar Wilde: consequences dear boy, consequences. Cameroooony back in No10 ... run for cover if you're poor or ill or just about surviving whilst in work; cheer if you're some posh, rich fat cat bleeding the rest dry. Don't waste your vital vote on the kipper vanity project. For years I've stated here that that all politicians are shysters and cheats, none of whom can be trusted. The basic measure that folks can take is who is more likely to ensure what's best for my family (or folks like me). Who's more likely to lend support in times of stress/hardship/illness and who's likely to stiff you good and proper, with a blunt stick, up the jacksy? Europe and/or immigration really hasn't much negative bearing upon most of us ... these issues only interest those with a particular axe to grind.

What's that saying??? Oh yes .... vote kipper/jocko and let the Toryscum back in. You should all be ashamed of yourselves.

It was yesterday.

No need for wise old Sym to subject himself to examination by GCHQ. My score would be 100% Socialist and 100% Feminist.

Check out BBC2 tonight at 10pm for a well-balanced documentary - Meet the Ukippers. You know that you can rely on Auntie to handle these matters with care and even-handedness however much the 'Forces of the Right' fling their sticky shite. Even Nige is scurrying to condemn some comments made by a kipper member as "deeply racist". Man, you couldn't make this stuff up!!! (Or even wise old Sym couldn't make this stuff up). Je suis Sym.

Mal wrote: "Yes tomtom, ask the planning department." or just go to the NCC Planning portal and do an online search for any applications they have.

Brothers Josh and Ben Parsons were vocal kipper supporters whilst pupils at Millfield School, Josh even captioned his Instagram photo "UKIP Boys". Josh Parsons was in that group on the Frog too-too ... perhaps the legal term I'm looking for is 'joint enterprise'. I'll await the usual denials that these creeps weren't racists. That black guy can thank his lucky stars the too-too wasn't chugging through a wooded area in Alabama ... Reductio ad KKKum. A general observation ... funny the number of kipper members getting caught spluttering racist vomit who are then discribed as behaving 'out of character'. Denials made in the best tradition of the Doctor ... Reductio ad Goebbelsum. Oh, I also love the camouflaging expression often used in these circumstances ... "some of my best friends are black/Asian/Jewish/Muslim/mackems". (see what I did there?) GGG - I'd be interested to know where those quotes in your earlier post #80 came from. Note: My earlier post described the creeps as being "kipper supporters" ... I never said they were Ukip party members! Je suis Sym.

"Scramble. Scramble. Scramble. Bandits angels one five" Sismerc's 'few' saw off Ivan's raid over the Cornish Pasty factories this week. Her Morse message to merc was, "I am not allowed to say how many planes joined the raid, but I counted them all out and I counted them all back."

I must say I was impressed by that worldwide advert, produced by a couple of self-confessed, posh ex-public school boy, kipper supporters (part of a bigger group of Chelski supporters), explaining their values to that black bloke on the Paris Metro this week. The incident also helps to illustrate the arguments currently being outlined here on the Forum in this kipper thread and the Education thread. What was it they were proudly chanting? "We are racist. We are racist". Mind, I suppose they don't represent the views of the vast majority of kippers. Je suis Sym.

Mal wrote: "If there is a God can he please get Tonyp and Willy to change the record!" Of course, if he hadn't been excommunicated from here by the 'Guardian of the Big Red Kill Button' I'm sure he would have.

I'm addicted to pencil use ... I even have a short stubby one in my wallet for emergency note taking. Somewhere in my attic I have a sample box (a thin tin thing) showing the various stages in making a pencil, starting with a block of routed wood and going through all the processes to the finished item; I'll have a look for it this weekend and take a photo to post here. It might interest somebody. Also up there is my very first box of coloured pencils (half-length Derwents) bought for 1 shilling & 6 pence from the Geography teacher at Westridge in 1963 ... he used to sell these so we could colour our maps. I currently use an industrial razor blade to sharpen my tips.

"... and Robson Green is doing another set of programme on our beloved area." Aghhh!!! No, and thrice no!!! And, it'll probably have a musical (?) soundtrack warbled by the CBS.

I should have done this the other day ... Googled: http://thebondagers.com/the-bondagers-home