Symptoms

Jester - you must resist the attractive temptation of 'taking the law into your own hands'. Don't shout at them, don't chase them, don't touch them, don't restrain them unless you want to invite the '4 o'clock knock' from Plod. A pound to a pinch of dog turd if you do any of the above their feckless parents will report you and you will be prosecuted ... you're an easy target for the forces of law and order. We've all read in the press the outrageous tales of decent folks being criminalised because they felt helpless before the tide of teenage anti-social behaviour. You posted that "St.Benet Biscops say it's out of school hours...not their problem" ... well of course it's their problem; if these little shits can be identified as being pupils there then they are bringing the School's name into disrepute and can/should be disciplined. If the Head doesn't do anything then go over his head to the Chair of Governors and send a copy of the complaint to the Top Bish at the Diocese. Try to get the local press involved ... they loves these type of stories ... and there's nothing more potent than press involvement to oil Plods works (and the School's). Shame them into action! Others here have talked about Asbos (conditions can include 'exclusion zones'), maybe worth instigating but I don't know how. Anyway, I blame it all on Esther Rantzen for founding Childline, that august body dedicated to child protection. Trouble is they also protect the shits from their parents who try to discipline them; how many parents out there have heard the refrain "if you ground me/smack me/hold-back the pocket money/no telly/send me to my room/ I'll call Childline and complain of abuse"? Of course some decent parents run scared whilst the feckless lot couldn't give a monkeys what their brats are up to. Oh dear, I'm morphing from a Guardian reader into something that takes The Daily Mail!

The Field of Screams.

Well, that promise made a few years back must have eventually reached that galaxy far, far away. They came at night but found the barber's shop closed.

Naughty, naughty Ms Hair, what'll Ofsted say about leaving your lesson preparation so late? National Curriculum, Schemes of Work, etc., are supposed to 'button-down' (restrict!) your freedom to do this sort of thing ... you should have had this lesson planned months ago! There's no place to do anything spontaneously.

Well, at least they'll be safe from kiddy fiddling; yep, a decent night's kip at last! I also spoke too soon ... again, my beloved Guardian devoted four pages in the main paper this morning AND 'a special souvenir supplement' (8 PAGES !!!!) ... well you can image the splutterings over my morning croissants and latte. I feel a letter to the Editor is necessary.

I wrote earlier "...the terrible part will be tonight's Newsnight Review probably running a piece on his contribution to popular culture." Well guess what? There's going to be a 'Special' Jacko tribute programme on earlier in the evening (7.30pm BBC1) ... it's enough to make you sick; we had to put-up with tribute shows to the Queen Mum but this is just too much. Oh, and what do you think will be served-up when that bitch Thatcher goes to take over Hell? Even my beloved Guardian had to soil itself this morning with a full-page Obituary on the perv and to make matters worse it was juxtaposed to an obit on the former fragrant Farrah Fawcett.

Oh, no ... it'll be wall-to-wall media tributes, news footage of wailing fans, and the terrible part will be tonight's Newsnight Review probably running a piece on his contribution to popular culture. The guy was a 'kiddy fiddler' who bought-off his accusers ... just wait 'till they come out of the woodwork to state that it really did happen. It's a disgrace that the UK Government allowed him entry for his forthcoming sold-out tour and those who bought tickets should hang their heads in shame .... all double standards when you consider how his chum Gary Glitter was treated. The good thing is that the kids in Blighty should be safe .... for a while anyway!

Victory! "Ayo Gurkhali" ... and for those not fluent in Nepalise - "the Gurkhas are coming".

I'm not sure of his new username but perhaps he's also trying to disguise his appearance:

To my old sparing partner Monsta: ... have a happy birthday but be tucked-up in bed before dark 'cos you'll be having visitors: and then sweet dreams: Cympil - is that your Vizsla or a stock photo?

How many here consider the Government's strategy in dealing with the older group of Gurkhas shameful? The premise that 'if you're prepared to die Blighty, you should be allowed to settle here' seem fair to me. 45,000 died for us in WW1 & WW2 and even this weekend Cpl Kumar Pun was killed in Afghanistan (he was also the son a former Gurkha). The cost of the proposal to allow settlement seems to me to be modest in the grand scheme of things. Sure, there'll be the usual racist insects who'll baulk at this notion of fairness ... probably spouting the usual line 'if you let one lot in you'll have to let the rest in nonesense', or calling them 'just common mercenaries who shouldn't have any right to come here twaddle'. Amazing how badly the Government have handled the issue - didn't they realise the British people have a fondness for the men from the foothills of the Himalayas?

Micky - clearly you're on the rozzer watch list ... maybe a legacy from your mining community connection. The cops have very long memories. I'm suprised you didn't get the rubber glove treatment for good measure.

Ralph - the following is a quote from The Northumberland Collections Service Newsletter Edition 2 July 2007: "... the old Newbiggin Colliery banner became Lynemouth Colliery banner when the majority of men were transferred to Lynemouth after Newbiggin closed in 1967." Apparently, banners were sometimes reused by other lodges by over-sewing a patch on. It was donated by the Northumberland NUM and is now part of the Woodhorn collection of 16 banners, others are according to the Newsletter: Ashington Federation Banner, Bomarsund, Cambois & Bates, Dr Pit, Ellington, North Seaton, North Walbottle, Pegswood, Rising Sun, Seghill, Sleekburn A, West Sleekburn, Whittle and Woodhorn. A further group Northumberland banners are elsewhere, Ashington Group of Collieries banner, Backworth Federation banner, Burradon & Weetslade banner, Cowpen and Crofton banner and the Dudley and Brenkley banner. Follow mrsvic's advice and contact Woodhorn (www.experiencewoodhorn.com) for pics or visit. Hope this helps.

Excellent news ... let's now get on with building those much needed coal-fired power stations. Fingers up to those pesky Russians and their gas tap ... I say we should start digging-up our 200 years worth of coal reserves to feed a new generation of coal-fired stations. Even if the builders are a bit slow with the carbon capture technology the only folks to suffer will be a few fish and reindeer eaters in Scandiavia ... letting them choke is a small price to pay so we can keep warm.

Malcolm wrote: "I think your are mixing ‘metaphors’!" Technically correct - I was trying to directly connect apparently unrelated subjects in this instance for the purpose of humour, ... I think sucessfully. I'm in good company using this device; Euripides, Sophocles, Aeschylus, Shakespeare, all the great poets, and of course, Blackadder. I think we can now add Malcolm to this list of greats for: "I think you will find GGG has Bedlington running through him like a stick of Blackpool rock!" Yeh, but who gets to lick the end?

blank wrote: " ... only because they only seem to sell shoes for the over 70's." Ah, desert boots (for our younger viewers - ankle high, beige lace-ups with a crepe rubber sole), sheep-skin lined Tartan Granny slippers, winkle-pickers, brothel creepers, Hush Puppies, sand-shoes and basketball boots (and the young-uns think that Converse All Stars are new). See-through rain macs* Monster??? At least wearing one of those will save you having to unbutton it when out flashing. (joke) *In the day ... known as Pack-a-Macs

GGG wrote: "I've done more than Gordon has in running a successful business for decades ..." then Malcolm wrote: "I think if you walk into any corner shop up and down the country and ask the Asian gentleman there to run the country they will do a better job!" does this mean that GGG is from the Indian Sub-Continent or from somewhere else over there?

HP - my daily diet of essential nourishment (brain food) is an aperitif, usually the Guardian's Sport Section. A starter is always the main Guardian paper taken with my porridge (which has been garnished with blue-berries). The main course is generally a choice of something light from BBC4 or something more wholesome from Sky Arts 2, an opera or a ballet maybe. Now with dessert I'm spoilt for choice ... the Guardian's G2 or a nibble of Newsnight. Bliss, shear bliss, and not an ounce of fat in sight.

Excellent work so far! Grey is the new black ... very stylish, and I vote to keep it. Just a note to those responsible; consider automatically introducing a riot of coloured chintz, flock-wallpaper background to monsta's postings and I'll have a black and white striped one please. As to the "bedlington.co.uk" at the masthead, as a graphic it is perfectly acceptable to use all lower-case lettering; as a proper noun, the word Bedlington (when used within a text) should always start with a capital letter.

HP wrote: "Has anyone ever even considered buying a pair of shoes from there? It makes one wonder how these places have stayed open so long." The problem is most folks tend to to be shod in trainers these days - and these generally fat, out of condition lumps are often seen wearing track-suits ... oh the irony of it all. All this inappropriate clobber (90% of which is made by slave-labour in the Chinese gulags or the kiddy sweat-shops of the Far East) is usually bought in retail park sheds. No wonder the local shopkeepers don't stand a chance of survival, never mind being able to sell quality clothes or shoes. Thank goodness I can pop across the Saville Row for my tailored shirts and hand-made leather shoes.

Here is the sequel:

A big, emotional lump has developed ... not in the 'trouser department' but in my throat at the news. Actually, I'm also getting a bulge 'downstairs' at the thought of a Shearer led future.

I say that those who are able to maintain good standards in grammar, syntax, punctuation and half-a-hundred other rules should continue to do so; we of the GCE 'O'level English generation have a duty of care to the Forum. A word of warning ... do we really want to leave this place in the hands of the entry-level communicators or their spawn, those only capable of using texting structure?

Perhaps, for us exiles, somebody still living in Bedlington could do a pub/club head-count. Maybe the survey could start at the area at the top of Front St and show those still in business and what's happened to those that have closed (new use). Old timers on here could fill-in any gaps, eg. Top Club on Front St burned down approx date (?), Tankerville Arms on Glebe Rd demolished approx date (?).