Good Jokes: Not For The Faint-Hearted (Adult content)

[Brian Cross]

LONDON LAWYER versus GLASGOW COP

A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Glasgow copper.

He thinks he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from LONDON and is certain he's had a better education than any Jock cop. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Glasgow cop's expense.

Glasgow cop says, ' Licence and registration, please.'

London lawyer says, 'What for?'

Glasgow cop says, 'Ye didnae come to a complete stop at the stop sign.'

London lawyer says, 'I slowed down, and no one was coming.'

Glasgow cop says, 'Ye still didnae come to a complete stop. Licence and registration, please.'

London lawyer says, 'What's the difference?'

Glasgow cop says, 'The difference is, ye huvte come to complete stop; that's the law, Licence and registration, please!'

London lawyer says, 'If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my licence and registration; and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket.'

Glasgow cop says, 'Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir.'

The London lawyer exits his vehicle.

The Glasgow cop takes out his baton and starts beating the living daylights out of the lawyer and says 'Dae ye want me to stop, or just slow doon?'

[Brian Cross]

The Fairy & The Immigrant

A beautiful fairy appeared one day to an immigrant claimant

outside Centrelink

'My good man,' the fairy said,

'I've been told to grant you three wishes,

since you've just arrived in Australia with your wife and seven children.'

The man told the fairy:

'Well, where I come from we don't have good teeth, so I want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them.'

The fairy looked at the man's almost toothless grin and -- PING !!!

He had a brand new shining set of gold teeth in his mouth!

'What else?' asked the fairy, 'two, more wishes, to go'.

The refugee claimant now got bolder.

'I need a big house with a three car garage in Vaucluse, Sydney, with eight bedrooms for my family

and the rest of my refugee relatives who still live in my country.

I want to bring them all over here.

PING ! - In the distance there could be seen a beautiful mansion with a three car garage,

a long driveway, a walkout patio with a BBQ, and a sparkling swimming pool and a BMW,

full of his nephews playing their music.

'One, more wish, left for you', said the fairy, waving her wand.

I want to be Australain with Australian clothes instead of rags, and shawl and I want to have white skin like the Aussies.

PING ! - The man was transformed, wearing worn out jeans from ASDA, a dirty Primark T-shirt and a greasy baseball cap.

He had his bad teeth back and the mansion had disappeared from the horizon.

'What happened to my new teeth?' he wailed.

'Where is my new house? Where's my Visa Gold Card?'

The fairy said. .

'Tough luck. Now that you are Australian, you're entitled to

sweet f*** all like the rest of us.

[Malcolm Robinson]

LONDON LAWYER versus GLASGOW COP

A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Glasgow copper.

He thinks he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from LONDON and is certain he's had a better education than any Jock cop. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Glasgow cop's expense.

Glasgow cop says, ' Licence and registration, please.'

London lawyer says, 'What for?'

Glasgow cop says, 'Ye didnae come to a complete stop at the stop sign.'

London lawyer says, 'I slowed down, and no one was coming.'

Glasgow cop says, 'Ye still didnae come to a complete stop. Licence and registration, please.'

London lawyer says, 'What's the difference?'

Glasgow cop says, 'The difference is, ye huvte come to complete stop; that's the law, Licence and registration, please!'

London lawyer says, 'If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my licence and registration; and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket.'

Glasgow cop says, 'Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir.'

The London lawyer exits his vehicle.

The Glasgow cop takes out his baton and starts beating the living daylights out of the lawyer and says 'Dae ye want me to stop, or just slow doon?'

Liked that one Brian, hope your feet are still dry, looks to be getting worse.

[John Fox (foxy)]

A gay jogging through the park got his eye on a drunken tramp lying on the park bench.

He went to see if he was OK and discovered he was just about unconcious with the drink so he turned him over and had his way with him.

Feeling guilty he stuck a £10 note in the tramps top pocket.

When the tramp come round in the morning he found the tenner and was off to his local off licence, Cider again is it Tom? asked the shopkeeper

No I"ve come into money, I think I"ll try a nice bottle of wine today.

That night he just got settled,sound asleep on his bench when the jogger came through again, he couldn"t beleive his luck.

So, same again turned him over had his way and feeling guilty stuck a tenner in the tramps pocket.

When the tramp woke up in the morning he found the money couldn"t beleive his luck and it was off to the off licence again.

Wine again is it Tom?

No said the tramp,I think I"ll go back to the cider. That wines got my !*!@# red raw!!!!

[Brian Cross]

Liked that one Brian, hope your feet are still dry, looks to be getting worse.

Our town is virtually cut of from the north and south, the supermarkets are almost out of food, milk bread included fuel supplies have run out except for essential services. but the devastation here is no where near as bad as those to the west and south west .........our Federal Govt has graciously donated 1 Million towards flood relief they are in cloud nine and not in touch with reality only a couple of weeks ago i read we had given Indonesia a cool 474.700.00 in aid ,,,,,,Brian

[Keith Scantlebury]

Our town is virtually cut of from the north and south, the supermarkets are almost out of food, milk bread included fuel supplies have run out except for essential services. but the devastation here is no where near as bad as those to the west and south west .........our Federal Govt has graciously donated 1 Million towards flood relief they are in cloud nine and not in touch with reality only a couple of weeks ago i read we had given Indonesia a cool 474.700.00 in aid ,,,,,,Brian

I read that Rio Tinto [the company that owns Alcan] have been badly affected by the flooding down there, they have a few coal mines etc in Queensland. This will have a major impact on the steel industry in Asia and in Europe. Apparently, they donated A$1ooo,ooo to the flood relief fund ,so for the Australian govt just to match that sum is a disgrace. Lets see how many of Australia's so called freinds rush in with financial and practical help as they do with "less fortunate countries". Also the Rio Tinto mine workers who have been unable to work, because of the flooding, have been put to good use helping the victims the best way they can. Lets all hope you do not need their assistance Brian, good luck mate and we all hope that you and yours stay safe and dry.

[Malcolm Robinson]

The Tourists are donating their wages today.............

Best wishes to you and yours Brian.

[Brian Cross]

An old Italian man is dying.

He calls his grandson to his bedside... "Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated ..38 revolver so you will always remember me."

"But grandpa, I really don't likeguns. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"

"You lissina me, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos. Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man... Whatta !*!@# are you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'Time's Up'?"

P.S Its a beautiful day here in Hervey Bay.

Edited January 12, 2011 by Brian Cross

[Brett]

A man boarded an aircraft at London's Heathrow Airport Terminal 5 for New York, and taking his seat as he settled in, he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the plane.

He realised she was heading straight toward his seat and bingo - she took the seat right beside him.

'Hello', he blurted out, 'Business trip or vacation?'

She turned, smiled enchantingly and said, 'Business.

I'm going to the annual nymphomaniac convention in the United States .'

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs!

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, 'What's your business role at this convention?'

'Lecturer,' she responded. 'I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.'

'Really', he smiled, 'what myths are those?'

'Well,' she explained, 'one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of

Greek descent. We have also found that the most adventurous lovers in all categories are the Irish.'

Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and blushed. 'I'm sorry,' she said 'I really shouldn't be discussing this with you, I don't even

know your name!'

'Tonto,' the man said. 'Tonto Papadopoulos, but my friends call me Paddy.'

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One afternoon a Scotsman was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass.

Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?" "We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."

"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the Scotsman said.

"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."

"Bring them along," the Scotsman replied.

Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us, also."

The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!"

"Bring them all, as well," the Scotsman answered.

They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was.

Once under way, one of the poor fellows turned to the Scotsman and said, "Sir, you are too kind.. Thank you for taking all of us with you.”

The Scotsman replied, "Glad to do it.

"You'll really love my place.

"The grass is almost a foot high.

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A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved 3 year-old grandson.

It's obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets in the sweet aisle, biscuits in the biscuit aisle; and for fruit, cereal and pop in the other aisles.

Meanwhile, Granddad is working his way around, saying in a controlled voice, "Easy, William, we won't be long . . . Easy, boy."

Another outburst, and she hears the granddad calmly say, "It's okay, William, just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there, boy"

At the checkout, the little terror is throwing items out of the cart, and Granddad says again in a controlled voice, "William, William, relax buddy, don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes; stay cool, William."

Very impressed, the woman goes outside where the grandfather is loading his groceries and the boy into the car.

She said to the elderly gentleman, "It's none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. That whole time, you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be okay. William is very lucky to have you as his grandpa."

"Thanks," said the grandfather, "But I'm William . . . That little b***ard's name is Kevin."

[Malcolm Robinson]

ZEN TEACHINGS for the New Year ahead:

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me,

for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow.

In fact, just pxxs off and leave me alone.

2. Sex is like air. It's not that important unless you aren't getting any.

3. No one is listening until you fart.

4. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

6. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

8.. If you don't succeed the first time, skydiving is not for you.

9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and

he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

10. If you lend someone £20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.

11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

12. Some days you are the dog, some days you are the tree.

13. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

14. Good judgment comes from bad experience ... And most of that comes from bad judgment.

15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

16. There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works.

17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our !*!@# ... Then things just keep getting worse.

20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

[Malcolm Robinson]

Boom Boom..........

Did you hear about the fat, alcoholic transvestite?

All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary.

Got an e-mail today from a bored local housewife, 43, who was looking for some hot action!

So I sent her my ironing. That'll keep the lazy woman busy.

I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill.

Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind.

After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex Bill woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman.

That's when he realised he had made it home safely.

Paddy says to Mick, Christmas is on Friday this year.

Mick said, Let's hope it's not the 13th then.

My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 5 hours to Hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak.

Came home today to find all my doors and windows smashed in and everything gone. What sort of sick person does that to someone's Advent calendar.

I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper.

To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit.

After years of research, scientists have discovered what makes women happy.

Nothing.

A lad comes home from school and excitedly tells his dad that he had a part in the school play and he was playing a man who had been married for 25 years.

The dad says, Never mind son, maybe next year you'll get a speaking part.

Just had my water bill of £275 drop on my mat.

That's a lot. Oxfam can supply a whole African village for just "£2 a month"..... Time to change supplier I think.

[Brian Cross]

Charlie's wife, Lucy, had been after him for several weeks to paint the

seat on their toilet. Finally, he got around to doing it while Lucy was

out. After finishing, he left to take care of another matter before she

returned.

She came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting in the

shower, she sat on the toilet. As she tried to stand up, she realized

that the not-quite-dry epoxy paint had glued her to the toilet seat.

About that time, Charlie got home and realized her predicament. They

both pushed and pulled without any success whatsoever. Finally, in

desperation, Charlie undid the toilet seat bolts. Lucy wrapped a sheet

around herself and Charlie drove her to the hospital emergency room.

The ER Doctor got her into a position where he could study how to free

her (Try to get a mental picture of this.).

Lucy tried to lighten the embarrassment of it all by saying, "Well,

Doctor,I'll bet you've never seen anything like this before."

The Doctor replied, "Actually, I've seen lots of them. I just never saw

one mounted and framed."

[Brett]

Boom Boom..........

Did you hear about the fat, alcoholic transvestite?

All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary.

Got an e-mail today from a bored local housewife, 43, who was looking for some hot action!

So I sent her my ironing. That'll keep the lazy woman busy.

I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill.

Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind.

After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex Bill woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman.

That's when he realised he had made it home safely.

Paddy says to Mick, Christmas is on Friday this year.

Mick said, Let's hope it's not the 13th then.

My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 5 hours to Hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak.

Came home today to find all my doors and windows smashed in and everything gone. What sort of sick person does that to someone's Advent calendar.

I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper.

To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit.

After years of research, scientists have discovered what makes women happy.

Nothing.

A lad comes home from school and excitedly tells his dad that he had a part in the school play and he was playing a man who had been married for 25 years.

The dad says, Never mind son, maybe next year you'll get a speaking part.

Just had my water bill of £275 drop on my mat.

That's a lot. Oxfam can supply a whole African village for just "£2 a month"..... Time to change supplier I think.

I read these as if Milton Jones was saying them. Sounds like his sort of material.

[Merlin]

Two flies crawling up the opposite sides of a piece of dung meet at the top, one says to the other 'Haven't seen you for a while' the other replies 'Oh! I've been on the sick'

[Brian Cross]

Two flies crawling up the opposite sides of a piece of dung meet at the top, one says to the other 'Haven't seen you for a while' the other replies 'Oh! I've been on the sick'

short and sick lol

[Brett]

[Brett]

TOOLS EXPLAINED:

DRILL PRESS:

A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.

WIRE WHEEL:

Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, "Oh, !*!@#!"

SKILL SAW:

A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.

PLIERS:

Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.

BELT SANDER:

An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.

HACKSAW:

One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle... It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS:

Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH:

Used almost entirely for igniting various flammable objects in your shop. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race..

TABLE SAW:

A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK:

Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.

BAND SAW:

A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST:

A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER:

Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.

STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER:

A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.

PRY BAR:

A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50p part.

HOSE CUTTER:

A tool used to make hoses too short.

HAMMER:

Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit.

UTILITY KNIFE:

Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use..

!*!@# !*!@# TOOL:

Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling "!*!@# !*!@#" at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need or often results in further injury to yourself.

[Malcolm Robinson]

:lol:

Good one Brettly, done most of them...........

[Malcolm Robinson]

HOW TO START A FIGHT

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift...

The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.

When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

And that's how the fight started.....

______________________________

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.

I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'

'No,' she answered. I then said,

'Is that your final answer?'

'Yes..' she said

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started...

________________________________

I took my wife to a restaurant.

The waiter took my order first.

"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

"Nah, she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started.....

________________________________

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearbytable.

I asked her, "Do you know him?"

"Yes", she sighed,

"He's my old boyfriend.... I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

And then the fight started...

_______________________________

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

________________________________

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, "What's on TV?"

I said, "Dust."

And then the fight started...

________________________________

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, andslipped quietly into the garage. I hooked the boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

And that's how the fight started...

________________________________

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."

I bought her a bathroom scale.

And then the fight started......

________________________________

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application..

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office...

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'

And then the fight started...

________________________________

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,

"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.

I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

And then the fight started

[Brett]

"Einstein, Newton and Pascal decide to play hide and seek. Einstein is it, closes his eyes, counts to 10 then opens them. Pascal is no where to be seen. Newton is sitting right in front of Einstein, with a piece of chalk in his hand. He's sitting in a box drawn on the ground, a meter to a side. Einstein says "Newton, you're terrible, I've found you!" Newton says "No no, Einy. You've found one Newton per square meter. You've found Pascal!"

[Brian Cross]

Supper

This guy was watching TV as his wife was out cutting the grass during the hot summer. He finally worked up the energy to go out and ask his wife what was for supper.

Well, his missus was quite irritated about him sitting in the air conditioned house all day while she did all the work, so she scolded him. "I can't believe you're aking me about supper right now! Imagine I'm out of town, go inside and figure dinner out yourself."

So he went back in the house and fixed himself a big steak, with potatoes, garlic bread and tall glass of iced tea.

The wife finally walked in about the time he was finishing up and asked him, "You fixed something to eat? So where is mine?"

"Huh? I thought you were out of town."

[Malcolm Robinson]

If you receive an Email from the Department of Health,

warning you of the dangers of eating tinned pork because of swine flu.....

Ignore it...

It's just Spam.

[Brett]

I think Andy Gray and Richard Keys should be sacked after their ignorant, sexist comments on TV. Sky Sports should set an example and give their jobs to female presenters. Preferably ones with really big :censored:.

Following the controversial comments made by Andy Gray and Richard Keys on having a woman lines man, it's now being heard that the female lines 'woman' in question was very upset even before kick off...When she discovered that the referee and the other lines man were wearing the same outfit as her.

Andy Gray and Richard Keys, in trouble for offending women referee assistants. I can't agree more, the only line a women should be near if she is putting my washing on it.

Following Andy Gray's sacking by Sky for "unacceptable and offensive behaviour" Sky's touchline reporter Andy Burton has been suspended for referring to 25-year-old assistant referee Massey as "a bit of a looker" during an off-air chat with Gray. The reasons for Burton's suspension were "questionable taste and dodgy eyesight".

For sale: Giant iPad-like table for sale. Connects to TV via HDMI cable. Great for watching football highlights on and analyzing them slowly and methodically when everyone else just wants to see the goals. Contact Andy Gray.

The lineswoman's a !*!@# !... or at least that's what I like to think

I'm glad to see the FA is standing behind the female assistant referee Sian Massey. That way they can look over her shoulder and tell her when to put the pretty flag up.

[Merlin]

Geordie is on holiday and visiting The Grand Canyon. The tour guide asks 'Can anyone tell me what a canyon is?' Geordie whips open his flies and lobs his todger out and says 'A divvent knaa, but this is a canny'n!'

[bediesathome]

Geordie is on holiday and visiting The Grand Canyon. The tour guide asks 'Can anyone tell me what a canyon is?' Geordie whips open his flies and lobs his todger out and says 'A divvent knaa, but this is a canny'n!'

what a brilliant joke . keep them coming.