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Happy Birthday Malcolm!

Cympil

By Cympil
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Cympil

Cympil

Posted
Posted

happy-birthday-1.gifHappy Biirthday To You..

I thought this might be helpful to you :D

Helpful Tips for the over 50s

Never attempt bending down, except under strict medical supervision.

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Develop the power of a photographic memory – take photographs of everyone you need to remember.

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Use your ailing health to blackmail your children into doing all your gardening and housework.

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Avoid the company of young people they are a sad reminder of your long lost youth.

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Keep a diary – it will be a great source of comfort and a handy reminder of what you did yesterday.

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Cultivate friendships with people much older than yourself. This will make you feel so much younger.

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Finding your false teeth can be difficult when you mislay your spectacles. Always keep these vital items attached to you by pieces of string.

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No one will ever notice your frightful wrinkles if you only go out when it’s dark.

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Modern science enables even fifty year olds to have the youthful looks of a teenager – a simple head transplant is all it takes.

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Should you ever get the urge to go ‘all night clubing’ apply the simple rule – forget it!!

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Buy a computer, digital camera and a MP3 player. Although you’re incapable of understanding how to use them at least you’ll appear trendy.

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Take the strain off your tired out memory by labelling all household objects – bed, fridge, television etc.

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Look twenty years younger in an instant – borrow a baby and train it to call you ‘mummy’.

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Save all hairs that come loose when you brush your hair – one day medical science may develop a means of replanting them.

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Borrow a pram – pushing it around looks better than clutching a zimmer.

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Try to enjoy your fifties as much as is possible – after all the horrendous sixties are looming.

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Remember – Don’t Drink and Zimmer. :D:lol: :lol:

Joe Rooney

Joe Rooney

Posted
Posted
and from us way south of you Malcolm

Don't believe a word of it! Well, not all of them anyway!

Happy birthday Malcolm.

Joe

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