The Television Thread

[Hamburger Pimp]

Especially for Symptoms, who loves nothing better than curling up on his sofa, plate of biscuits akimbo, watching all his programmes that he's marked off in his TV Chat magazine.

Some good stuff on the box at the moment.

BBC2 has Stewart Lee telling it like it is on a Monday night and voguish American crime drama each night in "The Wire".

Throw in Charlie Brooker deconstructing the news in "Newswipe", the excellent Jon Stewart on More 4's "The Daily Show" and Harry Hill's bizarre run through of the week's telly on "TV Burp" and you've got some formidable shiznit going down in the 'hood.

Enough about me, though, what's pressing your buttons at the moment, gogglebox-wise?

[Denzel]

Especially for Symptoms, who loves nothing better than curling up on his sofa, plate of biscuits akimbo, watching all his programmes that he's marked off in his TV Chat magazine.

Some good stuff on the box at the moment.

BBC2 has Stewart Lee telling it like it is on a Monday night and voguish American crime drama each night in "The Wire".

Throw in Charlie Brooker deconstructing the news in "Newswipe", the excellent Jon Stewart on More 4's "The Daily Show" and Harry Hill's bizarre run through of the week's telly on "TV Burp" and you've got some formidable shiznit going down in the 'hood.

Enough about me, though, what's pressing your buttons at the moment, gogglebox-wise?

Stewart Lee - it was moderately funny.

The Wire - can't be arsed.

Charlie Brooker - didn't Victor Lewis-Smith do all that?

Daily Show - reasonable.

TV Burp - class.

[Hamburger Pimp]

I'll tell you what's a strange channel; Partyland on Freeview.

Running from 1am til 5.30am, it consists of a scantily-clad young lady indulging in what I believe the young people refer to as "phone sex" with some hairy-palmed herbert willing to pay £1.50 a minute to mutter filth down the line at an oiled-up popsy.

The viewer, of course, hears none of this, seeing instead only a woman rolling around on the floor talking into a phone.

The oddest thing I've ever chanced across while searching for a late-night BBC4 documentary on Italian sculptors. Not sure this is the type of thing old John Yogi Baird had in mind when he legged it down the patent office back in the day.

[Symptoms]

HP - my daily diet of essential nourishment (brain food) is an aperitif, usually the Guardian's Sport Section. A starter is always the main Guardian paper taken with my porridge (which has been garnished with blue-berries). The main course is generally a choice of something light from BBC4 or something more wholesome from Sky Arts 2, an opera or a ballet maybe. Now with dessert I'm spoilt for choice ... the Guardian's G2 or a nibble of Newsnight. Bliss, shear bliss, and not an ounce of fat in sight.

[Monsta®]

HP - my daily diet of essential nourishment (brain food) is an aperitif, usually the Guardian's Sport Section. A starter is always the main Guardian paper taken with my porridge (which has been garnished with blue-berries). The main course is generally a choice of something light from BBC4 or something more wholesome from Sky Arts 2, an opera or a ballet maybe. Now with dessert I'm spoilt for choice ... the Guardian's G2 or a nibble of Newsnight. Bliss, shear bliss, and not an ounce of fat in sight.

just admit it you watch eastenders and think its real!

[Cympil]

I`ve just started watching Hell`s Kitchen with Marco Pierre White. There`s only been one programme on but there`s one contestant that`s getting on my nerves already and that`s Grant Bovey. He`s such a little know-it-all..He`ll not last long with the other contestants that`s for sure..

[Hamburger Pimp]

Here's a thing. That Norwich Union/Aviva advert, telling us how changing your name is ace and that.

For now, let us overlook the fact that NU/A are paying a bunch of megastars a vanload of cash for appearing in an advert while simultaneously making most of their UK workforce redundant. I'm not Ben Eltons, after all.

No, the thing that irks me is the bit where Ringo Starr, inside a car, with archive footage of rampant Beatlemania going on outside, asks "Would all of this have happened to Richard Starkey, eh?"

Now, I love Ringo, you love Ringo. Essentially, we all love Ringo. But, and like J-Lo, it's a big but, those screaming 1960s bobbysoxers weren't squealing up a storm over the drummer out of The Beatles, no matter how zany his new name. I'm fairly confident that most of it was down to the songwriting, singing, guitaring and boyish good looks of Messrs McCartney and Lennon. And this despite the fact they'd kept their original, prosaic names.

Ring Starr, hang your moptop head in shame.

[Andy Millne]

No apprentice watchers?

[threegee]

Ring Starr, hang your moptop head in shame.

Don't think so. Wouldn't swap Ringo's women for any pick'n'mix of anything the Lennon McCartney matrimonial agency could come up with.

And, on composing talent, I think our Paul have been doing a little re-writing of history of late. He was rumbled a short while back by the rediscovery in someone's garage of a long forgotten BBC Scotland tape of his younger more candid self. Bet he would have paid half a Heather divorce settlement to stop it finally reaching its intended desination.

No apprentice watchers?

Three so far and counting.

[Dave]

I Made the mistake of downloading series 2 of Torchwood the other day, What a load of total balls that programme is. The acting is the straight out of hollyoaks/ 6th form drama play, and the plot line was ham and eggs sci fi drivel covered with cheese. And the smug american lead character is a big gayer! whats going on!!

[Pete]

The best thing about TV is when its switched off as its all made for telivision rubbish.

[Guest mrsvic]

The Pre-Raphelite totty and their 'artistic' behaviour in Desperate Romantics on BBC2 has been worth a watch... finished this week, but still available on the iPlayer... best bit is a quick wikipedia search shows that most of it is a true story