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Hello to all my friends on the forum yes this is Brian Cross and I’m still alive I’ve been fairly ill for the last couple of years but hopefully I am over the worst of it now I just wanted to say Merry Christmas and a happy New Year to all my mates on the forum I have not forgotten you guys that was my eyes Not been real good I haven’t been able to post

Merry Xmas everybody! It's all over bar the shouting here. We're bout to take a break from eating and watch Donald Duck so here's the Christmas quiz to keep you busy for a while: In which Christmas song can you find the words “Everyone dancing merrily in the new old-fashioned way”? What is wassailing? Before being connected with Christmas, what was Yule? What is the name of the last ghost that visits Scrooge in A Christmas Carol? What is Frosty the Snowman’s nose made out of? Among Christians who lived in the East when was Christmas originally celebrated? In what century was Christmas first written as Xmas? What is the Capital of Christmas Island? What does Santa ride on in Finland? According to the Christmas song, what did my true love give to me on the eighth day of Christmas? In which direction should you stir the Christmas pudding mix if you want to avoid bad luck, clockwise or anticlockwise? Apart from being the world’s largest, what was unusual about the snowman named Olympia? Under which zodiac sign are you born if your birthday is December 25th? What popular Christmas song did Eartha Kitt record in 1953? The Grinch is as cuddly as a what? Are Santa’s reindeer male or female? In Japan, Santa is said to live on the moon. True or false? In the song Jingle Bells who was seated by my side? Which American president banned Christmas trees from the White House? In what decade did Coca-Cola start using Santa Clause in adverts? I’ll bet you didn’t know …. (and maybe you’d rather not) Caga Tío (the shitting log) is an integral part of a Catalonian Christmas. Starting December 8, children feed a log of wood every evening with morsels of food and cover it with a blanket to keep it warm. On Christmas Eve they leave the log alone and go to another room and pray for a lot of presents. On returning, they sing songs to the log while beating the living daylights out of it with big sticks and telling it to “shit”. The bewildered log obliges with sweets, nuts, small toys and the Catalonian delicacy Turron nougat. Believe me, it’s a sight to behold! Here is one of their songs (translated to English) for you to enjoy and get you into the spirit of Christmas: Shit Tió, Hazlenuts and nougats, Don’t shit herrings, they are too salty, they are too salty. Shit nougat, it tastes better, Shit tió, almonds and nougat, and if you don’t want to shit I’ll hit you with my stick! Shit tió!

Did you know that Yul Brynner was a life long Liverpool FC supporter, and despite his shaved head and clean shaven look he never wore after-shave - "Yul never wore cologne".

One or two things to think about when you're sitting around, unable to move, after the Xmas dinner (quotes of Stephen Wright): 1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. 2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back. 3 - Half the people you know are below average. 4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot. 6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good. 7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain. 9 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand. 10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. 11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend, ..... But she left me before we met. 12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark? 13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink? 14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. 15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. 16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. 17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. 18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now. 19 - I intend to live forever ... So far, so good. 20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? 21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. 22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice? 23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." 24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name 25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. 26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. 27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. 28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread. 29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. 30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. 31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. 32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it. 33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film. 34 - If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. 35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?