Malcolm Robinson

A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a Xmas fancy dress party. He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem. A few days later he receives a parcel with a note: Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a Pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a Pirate. The man is offended that the outfit emphasizes his disability, so he writes a letter of complaint.. A week passes and he receives another parcel and note: Dear Sir, Sorry about the previous parcel. Please find enclosed a monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part. The man is really incandescent with rage now, because the company has gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing attention to his bald head. So he writes a really strong letter of complaint.. A few days later he gets a very small parcel from the company with the accompanying letter: Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a tin of Golden Syrup. We suggest you pour the tin of Golden Syrup over your bald head, let it harden, then stick your wooden leg up your XXXX and go as a toffee apple.

It wouldn't be a Batman film would it Keef2?

Soyant Green, Ulzana's Raid, Southern Comfort....................... I take it O'Neills is significant?

It was a 9inch screen Keef........... http://www.tvrarities.com/The_Expert

Ok settle down for some real entertainment then.............. I see Wor Young'un was art director. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3sUY29YZ9A

For some reason keith I was fixated on the Quatermass Experiment and Marcus somebody............... I remember seeing him in the film as the Scarlet Pimpernel and even though they were poncing around it was still a good watchable film. Must have been real early in colour too. And of course as Niven's astral conductor in Stairway to Heaven or as UK audiences had it A Matter of Life and Death.

The link is the Scarlet Pimpernel........... David Niven, ...............Anthony Andrews, Richard E Grant. Now then.......hmmmmm...Marius Goring......had to think about him for a minute there Keef! AKA The Expert.

We urgently need a re run of the nominations.................... http://www.choosemypcc.org.uk/candidates/area/northumbria

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/chinese-company-unveils-ipad-mini-clone-for-£61.html

Looks like moves afoot on gold..............Germany want to repatriate theirs and ECB might make private holdings illegal in Euro land! Never mind the UK is out of recession..............just who do these half wits think they are kidding?

International Monetary Fund (IMF) report to the Eurogroup Working Group (EWG)....... "It is clear that Greece is off track and there is no chance they will cut the debt to 120 percent of GDP in 2020 as envisaged. It will be rather 136%. New prior actions will be needed, on top of the existing [ones] before any new tranches of Eurozone and IMF emergency loans to Greece can be paid." Hang onto your hats………………

Apple Hmmmmmmm

They have changed recently and I get way more images but they are not user friendly, its info overload really.

Pussies Keef2!

A man goes to the Aberdeen District Council to apply for a job in their office. The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?" He replies, "Yes, caffeine." Have you ever worked for the public service before?" "Yes, I was in the Army." he says, "I was in Iraq for two tours." The interviewer says, "That will give you five extra points toward employment." Then he asks, "Are you disabled in any way?" The guy says, "Yes. A mine exploded near me when I was there and I lost both testicles". The interviewer grimaces and then says, "O.K. You've got enough points for me to take you on right away. Our normal hours are from 8.00am to 4.00pm.... ...but you can start tomorrow at 10.00am and carry on starting at 10.00am every day." The ex-soldier is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8.00am to 4.00pm, why don't you want me here until 10.00am? I'm not looking for any special treatment y'know." "What you have to understand is that this is a council job," the interviewer says. "For the first two hours we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our xxxxs, and there's no point in you coming in for that."

Invisible man!!!!

Every actor is only 3 connections away from Kevin Bacon.....

I thought the only person the same age as you was Methuselah Keef2?

Here's the latest result from one of the biggest Euro banks Santander. Incidentally this was the bank urging West Bedlington town Council to place their capital reserves with them! Hope someone was listening! http://www.businessweek.com/news/2012-10-25/santander-profit-plunges-on-spain-property-purge-as-u-dot-k-dot-slumps

Like this one................

http://www.societasviaromana.net/Collegium_VitaQuotidiana/pets.php

Anyone starting a conversation with "technically…” is only heading one way……..prevarication!

All played wizards?

With reference to this topic's title................almost certainly!