Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of
the night celebrating St Patrick's Day.
Mick, the bartender says, 'You'll not be drinking any more tonight, Paddy'..
Paddy replies, 'OK Mick, I'll be on my way then'.
Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off...He falls flat on his face.
'Shoite' he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off.
He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face,
'Shoite, Shoite !'
He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get
to the door and some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the
door and shimmies up to the door frame. He sticks his head outside and
takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step
out onto the pavement and falls flat on his face.
'Bi'Jesus.... I'm pissed,' he says.
He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door,
hauls himself up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies
inside... He takes a look up the stairs and says 'No feckin' way'.
He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says 'I can make it to the bed'.
He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face. He
says 'buggar it' and falls into bed.
The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into his room carrying a cup
of coffee and says, 'Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last
night ?'
Paddy says, 'I did, Jess. I was feckin' pissed. But how'd you
know?'
'Mick phoned .. . . You left your wheelchair at the pub.'