A man and a woman are sitting in a pub discussing their forthcoming marriage. They have been ‘saving themselves’ for each other and have never seen each other naked. The woman doesn’t want any unpleasant surprises – for either of them – on the wedding night so she says to her intended, “I’m as flat as a pancake up top”. “That’s OK”, he replies, “I’m equipped like a new born baby down below”.
The wedding night arrives and both undress, somewhat nervously. The woman removes her bra and says, “See, I’m as flat as a pancake”. The man removes his underpants and the woman faints. After a couple of minutes she rallies round and says, “You swine! You told me you were equipped like a new born baby”.
“Exactly”, says the man, “47 centimetres long, 3.865 gram”.