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keith lockey

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Everything posted by keith lockey

  1. keith lockey
    Amednment to the three photos. I could have added one more person but that would have been a give-away. If no-one gets it by Sunday night I will reveal all.
  2. keith lockey
    Okay quiz fans - what connects the three people in these photos? (Easy peasy lemon squeezy - for your first set!)
  3. keith lockey
    When I was young my mother told me never to open the coal house door - under no circumstances must I open that door. Well one day she went out an left the coal house door unlocked - so I opened it. And I saw things I'd never seen before - trees, blue sky, people...
  4. keith lockey
    I went to the TA last night and the sergeant shouts - "Keith, I didn't see you in camouflage class last week." "Yeah," said I, "I'm getting good, aren't I."
  5. keith lockey
    Okay, Foxy, maybe this will make ammends.
  6. keith lockey
    I bought a cheap marquee for my bash last year. That was the winter of my discount tent.
  7. keith lockey
    Here's my favourite, Malcolm, though I do still like Hallelujah. (The Stanger's Song is on the opening credits of the Warren Beatty film McCABE AND MRS MILLER.)
  8. keith lockey
    Not a leek man myself - but the thing I remember most about the leek season was broth day. We used to go from pub to pub and have a pint and a bowl of broth. Now cold beer and hot broth can have an adverse affect on your bowel system; but we still did it every year. Hope the book sells.
  9. keith lockey
    So now they are saying pain killers make you worse! So does that mean I can get a refund off the multi-million-pound drugs firms who have been selling these products under false pretenses?
  10. keith lockey
    Now Brian, when your mate says "makes a fellow feel queer..." does he mean "Yoohoo, ducky, would you mind pushing my stool in." or does he mean queer peculiar, odd, sickly? My next visit to the old barkeep depends on this translation.
  11. keith lockey
    #5. Jog 'n' Lick (AKA Keef's preferred option!): Word on the street (according to BBC ) is that Native Americans would run around in the morning to get sweaty after a hard night on the village. Next step? Why the only logical thing: lick all that sweat up and spit it out, so you can get rid of all the 'poison' you'd just oozed out. Just tried the above, lads. I ran naked around the block then licked the sweat off my body and spat it out. My case comes up next week. Does Tesco sell pickled sheep's eyes and tomato juice?
  12. keith lockey
    Apparently the American Indians used to run around until they worked up a sweat; then they used to lick the sweat off their bodies (?) then spit it out - and thus cure their hangover. Right lads and lasses - who's up for giving it a go? Post the results on this site ASAP.
  13. keith lockey
    Here's my favourite, Foxy, Jeff beck - awesome.
  14. keith lockey
    Who's looking at the guitarist!!! No, seriously, I don't think it is - though the Floyd connection is there. Sam appeared on the PULSE album & tour and kilminster with Waters, etc. Funny enough I was just listening to Pulse last night - two cracking live versions of COMFORTABLY NUMB & RUN LIKE HELL. But I'll look into it and post anything if I find it.
  15. keith lockey
    DROOL, DROOL, DROOL.
  16. keith lockey
    I went to the corner shop this morning and there was poor Sonny behind the counter, suffering from the delights of Bacchus. So we got on talking about hangover cures. Someone told me that a packet of cheesy quavers and a can of coca cola works wonders - something to do with the mix! Sonny says he swears by strawberries. (He forget to get them - thus the hangover.) I was wondering if anybody else had any tried and tested cures.
  17. keith lockey
    The gay community in Hollywood are remaking Clint Eastwood's A FISTFUL OF DOLLARS. They are calling it A DOLLAR FOR A FULL FIST.
  18. keith lockey
    Brilliant photos, Vic. What amazes me is the smoke pollution in photo 2. Practically every house in Bedlington would have had a coal fire - we had two in our house - and these would have been belching out smoke 24-7. Our clothes must have been reeking after been hung on the washing line. (But I suppose everyone was the same!) PS. Me and Jim Hunter went exploring in those derelict pit buildings - we got in via the showers. We got chased by a pitman. (Did they have pit security guards them days?)
  19. keith lockey
    No, Keith, the Daily Mail was made for that purpose. They are even going to put hole in the top right - far right - corner so you can thread the string through.
  20. keith lockey
    That must have taken some doing! I bet it was just as hard, if not harder, doing that than a legit' performance.
  21. keith lockey
    No, the only newspaper any respectable person would use to wipe their nether regions has to be the Daily Mail. But talking of such, Malcolm, can you remember that horrid IZAL toilet paper they used to have at school. I remember it from the Whitley Memorial. It was like wiping your bum with grease-proof paper. UGH!
  22. keith lockey
    Theives broke into my house last night and stole everything but my hoover. They've left a vacuum in my life.
  23. keith lockey
    I like both version; Neil Young's and this.
  24. keith lockey
    WHAT! You mean I have to get an inside toilet and pay electric bills as well!!! I'll have to get the old mangle-printing press back out. Now is Queen Victoria still on the back of the pound notes?
  25. keith lockey
    WHAT! Next you'll be telling me to buy bog roll instead of the old newspaper on a string.
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