Alan Edgar (Eggy1948)

Ten Best Caddy Responses

Number :10

Golfer: "I think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."

Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long, sir?"

Number : 9

Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course."

Caddy: "Try heaven sir, you've already moved most of the earth."

Number : 8

Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?"

Caddy: "Yes sir . . . . You miss the ball much closer now."

Number : 7

Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?"

Caddy: "Eventually, sir."

Number : 6

Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world."

Caddy: "I don't think so sir . . . That would be too much of a coincidence."

Number : 5

Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too much of a distraction."

Caddy: "It's not a watch sir - it's a compass."

Number : 4

Golfer: "How do you like my game?"

Caddy: "It's very good sir - but personally, I prefer golf."

Number : 3

Golfer: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?

Caddy: "I'm afraid the way you play sir, it's a sin on any day."

Number : 2

Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on."

Caddy: "But this isn't the golf course . . . We left that an hour ago sir."

And the Number : 1 . . . . Best Caddy Comment:

Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it's too old."

Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir."

Bonus . . .

An old favorite . . . about the Golfer who has been slicing off the tee at every hole . . .

He finally gives up and asks his long suffering caddy . . .

Golfer: "Can you see any obvious problems . . . ?"

Caddy: "There's a piece of s*** on the end of your club."

The Golfer picks up his club and cleans the club face . . .

Caddy: "No sir, it's at the other end"

An 8-year-old choir boy catches the priest masturbating in the confessional.

He says, "What are you doing father?"

"It's called masturbating" the priest replied, "You'll be doing this soon."

"Why's that father?" he asked

"Because my wrist is killing me" the priest replied.

farthas day to me is to get another hole in one to go with the other three that i have done

Today Wilf went to Greenwoods:-

He got two pairs of plus fours, just in case he got a hole in one.

It's just us pensioners that are suffering! Makes my decision, just as the crash started 5 years ago, to take my pension and freeze the rate for 10 years. We might just be getting out of it by 2018 and I should be able to afford two pints on a Friday night. I have zillions of zeros in my accounts. Even NS&I are changing their rates. Will have to get the wife back to work to boost her retirement fund. Think it's soup and bread for evening meal - missed out dinner.

How come there are no charity shops (that I know of) of Bedlington front street? Is Bedlington avoiding the crash - apart from The Percy & Clayton Arms?

Not sure if this still works now as the spammers/hackers just get more sophisticated. To stop them emailing from your address book we used to add in a duff address as the first address they would read as :- Surname = 'aaaaa' ; Christian name = 'aaaaa' ; email address = 'aaaaaa@aaaaa.aa' so the hacking/spammer got an invalid response back and the attempted read of your address book therefore failed.

Then found that if you purchased Microsoft products and in the package was Microsoft Outlook for email you could ignore using your providers email server to login to get your emails.

I have MS Outlook installed (yes I am still in the dark ages) on my Desktop and it links into my provider BTYahoo. Therefore I do not have to connect to BTYahoo to get my emails and I do not have to have my address book in BTYahoo full of friends names and email addresses. All I have in the BTYahoo server address book is:-

aaaaaaa aaaaaaaa aaaaa@aa.aa

<phishing@cahoot.com>;internetsecurity@barclays.co.uk <internetsecurity@barclays.co.uk>;emailscams@lloydstsb.co.uk <emailscams@lloydstsb.co.uk>;security@halifax.co.uk <security@halifax.co.uk>;phishing@hsbc.com <phishing@hsbc.com>;phishing@nationwide.co.uk <phishing@nationwide.co.uk>;phishing@natwest.com <

spoof@paypal.com <spoof@paypal.com>;phishing@hmrc.gsi.gov.uk <phishing@hmrc.gsi.gov.uk>;phishing@santander.co.uk <phishing@santander.co.uk>;stop-spoofing@amazon.com <stop-spoofing@amazon.com>;abuse@bankofamerica.com <abuse@bankofamerica.com>;internetsecurity@barclays.com <internetsecurity@barclays.com>;phish@fb.com <phish@fb.com>;

I find BTYahoo very good at identifying 'phishing' emails and placing then in the dedicated SPAM folder. So when I do connect to BTYahoo I can forward any SPAM emails to the relevant organisation, the SPAMMER was pretending to be from, for their security to check out. I agree with Threegee in that there is no harm in opening these mails just don't click on the links they include.

As for 'cookies' left on your system there is no harm in just deleting them. Sometime the 'usernames' etc. that you may have saved for certain sites will also get deleted but not a great deal of harm done as I am sure we all have brilliant memories and can remember, without having them written down!

I normally use AVG or McAfee to keep my machine tidy but you can use the windows help facility and if you search for 'cookies' you will get:-

Delete your Internet cookies

Follow these steps to delete the cookies stored on your computer. After you delete cookies, websites will no longer remember information you have entered on previous visits (for example, they will no longer have record of your user name or preferences).

Click to open Internet Options.

Click the General tab, and then, under Browsing history, click Delete.

Under Cookies, click Delete cookies, and then click Yes to confirm that you want to delete them.

Click Close, and then click OK.

Hope some of the above makes sense; time for a cup of tea.

Eggs - the 'grass' in that photo in your first post looks suspiciously like that plakka roll-on stuff and not real tufts; or you don't have a mutt that causes brown patches where it pees; or ankle-biters to wreck the place and kick the gravel about. Ah, peace and quiet!

Perfectly true - Keith Lockey's ex school mate Peter just fitted it. So now Wilf, apart from when he is out and about, should never get lost.

Before:-

The Bank Top Races (from a well known tune)

Aw went to Bank Top races, 'twas on the ninth of Joon,

Nineteen hundred an' sixty-two, on a summer's efternoon;

Aw tyuk the wheels of Prambulator, an' she wis left a standin,

Away we went doon Furnace Bank, with shin pads savin skinnin.

(chorus)

Ah me lads, ye shud only seen us gannin',

We pass'd the foaks doon the road just as they wor stannin'

Thor wes lots o' lads an' lasses there, all wi' smiling faces,

Gannin doon the Furnace Bank, with shin pads savin skinnin.

We flew past Wonky's boomshanka, pointin at the Hairpin bend",

Just gannin' doon te the white bridge, the 'pram wheels flew off the end.

The lasses lost their crinolines off, an' the veils that hide their faces,

An' aw got two black eyes an' a broken nose in gan te Bank Top races.

(chorus)

Ah me lads, ye shud only seen us gannin',

We pass'd the foaks doon the road just as they wor stannin'

Thor wes lots o' lads an' lasses there, all wi' smiling faces,

Gannin doon the Furnace Bank, with shin pads savin skinnin.

When we gat the wheels put on away we went agyen,

But them that had their noses broke they cam back ower hyem.

Sum went to the Oval clinic an' uthers to Doctor Broon,

An' sum sought out their mutha to mend their broken croons.

Yesterday was the official opening of the sculpture to commemorate the Iron Works. I went down the furnace bank, and up the hairpin bends, just to see:-

GLO - BED - RAIL, a sculpture erected in Bedlington Station to commemorate the Bedlington Engine and Ironworks, 1736-1867. Picture by Paul Appleby of Choppington.

The official launch of the new sculpture will take place at 11am on Sunday, June 16, when MP Ian Lavery will unveil the commemorative plaque.

Today Wilf is going to Seaton Delaval Hall to see the flowers. Last time he was there he asked the head gardner - "are you planting in bunches this year? No". replied the gardener -"Just in Rose".

Today Wilf is going to Seaton Delaval Hall to see the flowers. Last time he was there he asked the head gardner - "are you planting in bunches this year? No". replied the gardener -"Just in Rose".

See him every day in Burnside

That could be him collecting his brother Tommy or that other landscaper Stephanie.

He has made a boob of his footwear. I think that's a 'fairway' to start Wilf's golfing adventures.

I keep telling the kids - Father's day, nothing for me I have everything, I need. Take me to a new pub for lunch and a pint of 'real-ale'.

However, today Wilf arrived. I wonder what adventures he wilf have?

Cheers Eggy, I know Pete well, we were good mates at school. (I have sent you a PM with my email address on it. Can you send it to Pete and tell him to get in contact with me if he wants to. it would be nice to hear from him, cheers.) With regards to the photos. Eileen Purdy has contacted me, she is also on this site, and she confirms David Kennedy and the other lad is Graham Lindsay. She also says that isn't Vicky Sedgewick at the back left - she says it is Sue Ryder.

Keith - I have sent your message on to Peter. He now lives at the top end. Watch out for White-van-man (with green writing) 'Peter Davies landscape gardening services'.

MORE PHOTOS FROM THE WOODY SCHOOL & PLR

PLEASE FILL IN THE BLANKS.

Keith - I email Peter Davies the photos and his reply is:-

Hi Alan I recognise one of the lads in the last photo.... Mr granges class although i always thought it was spelt mr Grainge. The lad I recognise is called David Kennedy from Stakeford and he is standing next to Paul Maddison. I also think Keith has a few names wrong...ie. Vicky Sedgwick in one of the photos she is too old for that year group and I recognise the girl pictured but can't put a name to her. I also think Janet Cowell is wrong as she is a lot younger than the others pictured unless there were two Janet cowells. Peter.

Hope this helps

Nothing concrete but this subject did come up with a few of my family, after they had been digging into their family tree and found out they were born outside of Bedlington/Mona Taylor. It looks like all those born 1948, and after were either born in house or Mona Taylor. Prior to 1948 it looks as though Mona Taylor could not cope with the baby boom, following soldiers return from war, and many mothers were sent off to Hexham - Rothbury etc to deliver. Some of the older cousins thought they must have been adopted it was only when others, of same age, said - 'that's where I was born' hat they realised they were really a Henderson and not adopted.

I remember in the ship yard a sotherner asking why there were Chinese working in the yard when he heard someone shout :-'

' Hoi a hammer ower here man hinney'.

A friend said today that her cousin had said 'she had been swanking' or boasting.

Does anyone else use that term?

Only aboot tuthers gannin past. We nivver had any guid clathes te swank aboot in. We always thought it was just a pit-mattic version of showing off one's new clothes!

We nivver had any.

Could it have been the open cast site that was down Church Lane on the way to the baths. I can remember the large machinery, cranes & trucks (we called them euk's) that we passed. The inner tubes of the large wheels from these 'euk's' made their way to the baths, all on their own, so we could dive, from the side of the baths, through the centre. But I can't remember any red stuff, just black & white to me.

aye,the budge, happy memories of courting this lass from the rows and kissing and cudling in the budge at the red lion waiting for the bus home..cant remember what time the last bus was at but remember well the happy tingly feel of being in love..her mother would often say.." dont be hanging round all nite in the budge as someone will be telling your dad and you know what will happen then"

lol..there was a few times that i would miss the last bus just for that extra time together and end up walking home to the sound of my mother saying.."have you been up to bedlington with that dorty lass again".

there was definatly a strong smell of wee in the corner and a strong smell of woodbine too..

the guy in the above picture wearing the glasses was a trendsetter in his day..i just paid 150 euros for some specs like those..gok wans frames,pure designer stuff..i was wearing them at work and one guy asked did they not have any other ones and another said the last time he saw glasses like that alf garnett was wearing them..lmao

lmao, I did - 'gok wans; not have any others, Alf Garnet'. Start a new topic Wonky - Specs thru the ages. I remmeber my first set - Horn rimmed and I think they cost, me mam, approx 14shillings 7 8pence (no idea why that specific figure popped out of memory banks). I know I have a photo (1959?) filed away. Probably took them off before entering the station budgie to remain cool!

Iv'e got a more recent similar pic but for some reason it won't upload, after iv'e recovered my laptop from the back garden and replaced the broken window I'll have another try

There is a close up on this site, in the Gallery, when it was 'unveilled' in 1953 for the coronation, with The Picnic Queens:-

Foxy - your recent photo, from your latest hiking expedition, with rear view of rucksack, is rather outstanding.

Paul - The Station hut was much more up market - smelt of beer, tabs and piddle.

Bedlington Station shelter, that was back off the road at the bottom of South Row before the chemists and railway gates, was referred to as The Budgie Hut and as The Lone Ranger says the placque on the shelter was BUDC that we pitmatic lot traslated into The Budgie Hut. Can we find photos of the Red Lion & Bedlington Budgies?

More school photo,s from the 60s, supplied by Martin & Susan - Susan not on the Class 2R 63/64 photo as she was absent the day it was taken.

Both Martin and Susan were in the same class as me throughout our time at Westridge. I last spoke to Martin was on Percy Street, Newcastle, in 1970 ... I'd just arrived off the King's Cross train and was walking up to the Haymarket to catch a bus for the onward journey to my parent's place (alas, no longer Bedders). The last time I saw Susan was at a party in Bedlington Station (she was with Martin) in 1967 ... I think it might have been a school leaving party... it could even have been in her home (did she live at B/Station?). Martin, if memory serves me correctly, lived at West Lee.

Eggs - I'll send you a personal message through the Forum with my name and contact details which you might like to pass on to Martin & Susan; it would be great to hear directly from them.

Ok. Never used that method but I will check everywhere for your message and pass it on.

Martin lived in Lilly Avenue just east of the Terriers football field - Susan I believe was Melrose Avenue at the Bank Top.

Eggy - it's good to hear that you're in contact with Martin and Susan (childhood sweethearts). I'll amend the 'master' photos.

Martin = 1, of 27, of the direct descendant cousins on the Henderson line.

If you think there is anything else they (+ his two older sisters that both went to Westridge) can help with let me know and I will ask.