Brett

brettly86 - Not on alot and only really play on MW2 really.

You've obviously fixed it

"Einstein, Newton and Pascal decide to play hide and seek. Einstein is it, closes his eyes, counts to 10 then opens them. Pascal is no where to be seen. Newton is sitting right in front of Einstein, with a piece of chalk in his hand. He's sitting in a box drawn on the ground, a meter to a side. Einstein says "Newton, you're terrible, I've found you!" Newton says "No no, Einy. You've found one Newton per square meter. You've found Pascal!"

TOOLS EXPLAINED:

DRILL PRESS:

A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.

WIRE WHEEL:

Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, "Oh, !*!@#!"

SKILL SAW:

A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.

PLIERS:

Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.

BELT SANDER:

An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.

HACKSAW:

One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle... It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS:

Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH:

Used almost entirely for igniting various flammable objects in your shop. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race..

TABLE SAW:

A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK:

Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.

BAND SAW:

A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST:

A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER:

Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.

STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER:

A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.

PRY BAR:

A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50p part.

HOSE CUTTER:

A tool used to make hoses too short.

HAMMER:

Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit.

UTILITY KNIFE:

Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use..

!*!@# !*!@# TOOL:

Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling "!*!@# !*!@#" at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need or often results in further injury to yourself.

Got the bairn the Eyetoy for xmas and going to get the Move starter pack for that.

They look good fun and there are a few games out there at the moment. You can get the gun remotes which you seat the original move remote in and use it like a real gun. Very Time Crisis-esque.

Boom Boom..........

Did you hear about the fat, alcoholic transvestite?

All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary.

Got an e-mail today from a bored local housewife, 43, who was looking for some hot action!

So I sent her my ironing. That'll keep the lazy woman busy.

I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill.

Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind.

After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex Bill woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman.

That's when he realised he had made it home safely.

Paddy says to Mick, Christmas is on Friday this year.

Mick said, Let's hope it's not the 13th then.

My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 5 hours to Hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak.

Came home today to find all my doors and windows smashed in and everything gone. What sort of sick person does that to someone's Advent calendar.

I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper.

To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit.

After years of research, scientists have discovered what makes women happy.

Nothing.

A lad comes home from school and excitedly tells his dad that he had a part in the school play and he was playing a man who had been married for 25 years.

The dad says, Never mind son, maybe next year you'll get a speaking part.

Just had my water bill of £275 drop on my mat.

That's a lot. Oxfam can supply a whole African village for just "£2 a month"..... Time to change supplier I think.

I read these as if Milton Jones was saying them. Sounds like his sort of material.

A man boarded an aircraft at London's Heathrow Airport Terminal 5 for New York, and taking his seat as he settled in, he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the plane.

He realised she was heading straight toward his seat and bingo - she took the seat right beside him.

'Hello', he blurted out, 'Business trip or vacation?'

She turned, smiled enchantingly and said, 'Business.

I'm going to the annual nymphomaniac convention in the United States .'

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs!

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, 'What's your business role at this convention?'

'Lecturer,' she responded. 'I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.'

'Really', he smiled, 'what myths are those?'

'Well,' she explained, 'one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of

Greek descent. We have also found that the most adventurous lovers in all categories are the Irish.'

Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and blushed. 'I'm sorry,' she said 'I really shouldn't be discussing this with you, I don't even

know your name!'

'Tonto,' the man said. 'Tonto Papadopoulos, but my friends call me Paddy.'

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One afternoon a Scotsman was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass.

Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?" "We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."

"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the Scotsman said.

"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."

"Bring them along," the Scotsman replied.

Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us, also."

The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!"

"Bring them all, as well," the Scotsman answered.

They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was.

Once under way, one of the poor fellows turned to the Scotsman and said, "Sir, you are too kind.. Thank you for taking all of us with you.”

The Scotsman replied, "Glad to do it.

"You'll really love my place.

"The grass is almost a foot high.

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A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved 3 year-old grandson.

It's obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets in the sweet aisle, biscuits in the biscuit aisle; and for fruit, cereal and pop in the other aisles.

Meanwhile, Granddad is working his way around, saying in a controlled voice, "Easy, William, we won't be long . . . Easy, boy."

Another outburst, and she hears the granddad calmly say, "It's okay, William, just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there, boy"

At the checkout, the little terror is throwing items out of the cart, and Granddad says again in a controlled voice, "William, William, relax buddy, don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes; stay cool, William."

Very impressed, the woman goes outside where the grandfather is loading his groceries and the boy into the car.

She said to the elderly gentleman, "It's none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. That whole time, you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be okay. William is very lucky to have you as his grandpa."

"Thanks," said the grandfather, "But I'm William . . . That little b***ard's name is Kevin."

You should be able to scan for networks rather than manually entering the SSID.

Make sure that you don't have to allow the PSP's MAC address on your router to allow the connection and make sure that your router is broadcasting your SSID so that it can be detected.

WLAN switch on the top of the PSP needs to be set to 'On' to be able to detect the network when scanning and like GGG says, enter the WEP key ensuring that the case is adhered to.

I was out in the car with the girlfriend the other day when I got pulled over by the police.

The policeman bent over and stuck his head in the window.

"You been drinking son?"

To which I replied

"She's not that fat is she officer?"

There was a means of organising a poker night at your pub a while back where the company sent the organiser out a poker set, table and instructions on how to run the night, inclusive of tables and all documentation to support the night you were organising.

After so many nights were held the said company would organise regional tournaments between different venues within your area.

I can't quite remember which company it was that organised this but seemed really well organised. They used to do it at the Joiners in Blyth. Was held on a Wednesday night and created revenue for the premises on a quieter night so I can't see landlords/ladies having a problem with this.

A gambling licence would be required but if fruit machines/bandits are available then this should be covered (don't quote me on that though) but there are ways around it.....say a £10 entrance fee rather than betting with money and valuing the chips

I won't be interested but I would imagine most of the pubs wouldn't be too bothered about it taking place. May have been southern comfort that organised it but can't remember exactly.

Following last year's triumphant, internet-bolstered, telly-talent-compo-orthodoxy-upending ascendance of the gleefully inappropriate and profanity-sprinkled Killing in the Name by Rage Against The Machine to the once-sacred top spot, a campaign is under way to get a charity recording of avant garde composer John Cage's 4'33" to the lofty position for 25 December. The track famously consists of four minutes and 33 seconds of unfettered silence.

As in 2009, when the disaffected sought to thwart the now drearily predictable hogging of the Christmas number one by the latest X Factor winner, Facebook has been the home of the effort. More than 55,000 have merrily clicked 'like' on the Cage Against The Machine page.

Full story at The Register

Was in the Red Lion on Friday night when the mass onslaught of snow came down. Was parked outside of Moby !*!@#'s and when I came to leave could not get the car out at all. Had to reverse down towards Bedlington Motor Company to take a bit of a run up. Unfortunately at the bottom I also got stuck.

A stranger, whom I can only presume lived in the houses on Glebe Road, came out of nowhere and offered to drive the car out. What a splendid job he did and got me out of the dead end and on to the main road.

Thank you to whoever you are, you made our night....despite the small bump later on going round the corner past the police station! Oops.

Kind of restores your faith in humanity a little.

Twenty-five years ago, on Nov. 20, 1985, Microsoft introduced its first version of Windows to the world. Not many people outside the technical press or the tech industry took notice. Product launch events that cost hundreds of millions of dollars were still years away.

What's changed in Windows in the last 25 years? Plenty. In this image gallery, we take a look at the various faces of Windows over the past couple of decades and clue you in to what happened at every stage of the operating system's development.

From This

To This

Windows started in 1981 as a project called Interface Manager and experienced a series of delays getting out of the gate. When it was finally released in late 1985 as Windows 1.0, it made a ripple, not a splash. It had to be run on top of DOS, few applications were written for it, and application windows couldn't be overlapped (they had to be tiled).

Still, the OS allowed for multitasking of Windows apps (not DOS ones) and, even though few knew it at the time, it would eventually become the foundation for the Microsoft empire.

Take the full tour on Computer World

"Get a grip on tyre safety with this easy-to-use, multipurpose tyre gauge. Keep it close and use it regularly to measure your tyre pressure and tread depth.

Look after your tyres and they'll look after you!"

http://tyresafety.eu/order

In response to your post Merlin, ashington leisure centre is a dive and needs knocking down and starting afresh. I can't imagine it is an excuse to get a new leisure centre but merely the truth.

Can't say I've taken much notice of Blyth market place or how much they spent on it but to say that Bedlington's market place is a joke just because other funding is allocated elsewhere. Imagine the state the place would have been in without the regeneration. Only good things can happen and as more properties and building are becoming occupied it will change soon enough.

On that note seen two !*!@# looking young'uns taking the roof off of Elliott's at the weekend. No van outside and no safety gear. Weren't even using a hammer or dus masks. Sub-contracted for ease by the looks of things.

The cycle path not just another metro line that is getting extended? The cycle track will be used frequently I would imagine. You'd still get the pesky road race up and down the spine road though. Can't they build them a smooth path to ride on?

I would like to nominate Jimmy Millne also.

Back on topic, maybe they are planning a Tuesday night revivial of the Red Lion at the grand opening of Spoons.

I wouldn't say that I would frequent it when it is open but I can see me attending on occasions. Certainly more than the Rohan 'Canny' up next to mine.

Saw some workmen in front of Elliott's garage the other day, doors were open and all the roof insulation was all over the floor, dunno what they were doing but had some sort of drilling/inspection equipment in the old forecourt, maybe surveying for possible petrol station ??

I would imagine that it would just be earth samples to see what is below the ground. If there are flats on the cards then some founds are going to need laying and they will need to check for soil erosion etc.

As for the aesthetics, there was an old thread on this site with reference to what is being proposed there, and it isn't visually pleasing, in fact what was passed will dominate the street view.

More information.

Surely all development is better than an asbestos clad ford garage which looks awful. I think there should be some consideration taken when selecting the building materials if flats are approved.

As for Asda selling Netto's. We have boycotted Asda for the past few months and it is remarkable how much money we have saved!! Can't see us going back other than when the other shops are shut and we are in dire need for something (wine )

Ah another David Bailey type!

Nothing wrong with being arty farty

Can't give you any advice on camera backs or fronts or bottoms or tops but you'd near certainly do better to buy it in the US of A, providing it isn't going to need an EU warranty repair AND you can get it past HM Customs without getting stung for VAT and import duty.

Well I am going to be over there for three weeks so it would be with the intention of getting it charged up and running whilst I was over there so it would just look like I had taken it with me. I don't know how thorough the checks are leaving the US. Best have a shave so I dont get stopped for looking slightly middle eastern

Me? At about the three megapixel mark I bowed out of the expensive camera thing. It's the shot that matters. Most often life delivers you only one opporunity, and you can easily fluk it trying to get the numbers right. My new phone is better than the best digital cameras of ten years ago, and it's always on and always with me.

Yeah like I said we've already got a point and shoot which goes around with us and the camera on my phone but for the more glamorous shot I want something a bit better with good video capture.

Okay here goes....

Narrowly missed out on a second hand Nikon D60 body with kit lens the start of this year for £260 as the guy was upgrading to the D90. Anyway spent the money elsewhere.

Now Im torn between a few things and a bit if advice is on the cards.

I'm definitely going DSLR as I already have a point and shoot which gets taken out and about most places. I was offered the second hand body of the Canon 500D but not sure what is happening on this.

We have since booked a holiday to Florida and we're not sure what the prices are like for electronics over there. We want a camera for going away but would like to know if it is worth getting one before we go or take the money and get it over there and more for our money??

Been looking at the D60's, D90's a bit steep for our price range and been looking at the same spec alternatives but not too sure what to go for.

Like the war all over again.

France duck out early, the Americans arrive late and we are left to face the Germans....

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/blog/2010/jun/24/england-germany-rivalry-world-cup-2010

Like the war all over again.

France duck out early, the Americans arrive late and we are left to face the Germans....

Doesn't matter anyway, the girlfriend totally forgets about the use of tabs and ends up with hundreds of windows open all on google anyway..

Get Jo Hart in, he was world class for a young'in for Brum all season. Give him the chance, not gonna do any worse really!!

I live in Europe, and I don't like to see American marketing outfits sell overpriced tat when we've got better technology at home!

The main thing that put me off having an iPod for so long was the fact that I had to use iTunes with it. Cant stand it is an application and the only thing I remotely liked about it was the 'visualizations'.

Now got an iPod but only due to the fact I can use WinAmp or Foobar to transfer media..

Like I have said, I was going to invest an an Apple Macbook Pro not so long back and even though I intended on getting one whilst in the store I just couldn't justify spending the money on a mediocre setup when I could get something quicker and better for less money with a Windooze computer.

Still on my old laptop now as the money I was going to spend went on other things