Denzel

I know theyd definitely do wonders for this town like

I would also like to say that the red lion has been taken over by a mate of mine called scott vincent, lovely lad previously known from dominics before it was movies. hes cleaning the place up and chucking all the kids out. all id like to say is best of luck to him and hopefully hell succeed

It's a shame the place is a total !*!@#.

well seen you ain't a dog owner if you were god help it

Try that again in English.

I know its not perfect but my mam works at bedlington high and that is soon to be a secondary school with all the kids from west sleekburn moving there, may not be an academy but better than nowt!!

That place has always been a glorified borstal.

You want to enlighten us Denzel

She likes being 'tashed'.

http://beedogs.com/

The world is waiting.

Or maybe not!

Because they're !*!@# dogs?

There's some fine use of the English language in here and no mistake.

2-1 to Stoke

Another fine result for the Self-pity City at Wist 'Am the other neet mind?

Black armbands and candlelit vigils all round.

Ahead of today's Football Focus, Soccer Saturday, Sports Report, pre-match build-up et al, a little "I Spy" competition. Score points for each time you see or hear the following old saws being wheeled out.

"Soccer hotbed" 2 pts

"Poisoned chalice" 2 pts

"Most passionate fans in the game" 1 pt

"Divine right" 3 pts

"Fairs Cup" 1 pt

"Cavalier style of the Keegan era" 5 pts

Shots of shirtless fatsos 1 pt

That blonde chap in the black coat mouthing off at Fat Sam at the Liverpool game 1/2 pt

"Pressure cooker atmosphere" 4 pts

"Sheet-metal worker's son" 2 pts

"Jackie Milburn" 1pt

Slack-jawed mouth-breathers milling around outside SJP, telling any camera crew within earshot that "It's a diz-grace"

"The money they're on!" 10 pts

"Bobby Moncur" 2pt

"Prima donnas" 5 pts

"Super dooper Hooper" 25 pts

Have fun with it!

I claim my 25 points.

MINT! I was right! It just goes you can know naff all about the foolsball and still make highly impressive and accurate predictions, like when I nearly won the football predictions at the pub by choosing entirely random scorelines.

I wish the little cherub all the best.

Only a bliddy bint would think it was a good idea to bring Keegan back; I bet you were stood outside SJP with the other dimwits, psyched up on Smirnoff Ice and gurning at the camera.

Last time I saw potting that good was in Monty Don's shed.

We are building a square outside entertainment area with walls long two sides and the wood fired oven at the junction of the walls

the design of the oven is typically Greek the dome sits on bricks about three foot high but we are about two hundred bricks short of finishing it, Monsta gave me an idea i might check out the old power station sight for bricks.....

when it is finished i will post some photo's

I didn't know you were partial to a bit of Greek mind Brian?

TV nostalgia of a slightly more recent vintage

Ahhh, TV Cream, a quality website and no mistake.

Charlie Brooker's Christmas Quiz! Our favourite misanthrope!

Now just had ya pony, keep these big, fancy words away from here.

A belated birthday greeting to Bedlington's foremost subliminal advertisers.

Anyone know where I can get decent childcare round here?

Cockatiel. (My Auntie used to have one that said special brew.)

You've certainly had a cockatoo in your time.

Hope you had a good one Denzel! But I am sure that you did.

I always think of you as Sixty years of living crammed into a thirty five year old body.

best wishes, Joe

I'm afraid my Adonis-like physique is starting to suffer from the effects of excess beer, tabs and pies.

Yet another place Ryanair ruined with their 1p long-haul flights then?

Yes, I think holidays to far-flung destinations should be the sole reserve of the idle rich.

Whats a !*!@#

A person who sells lucky spigs of heather and bags of pegs, whilst her husband offers to tarmac your driveway.

Hands off Puerile, Denzel!

I think Monsta has first dibs on that!

By the way, what does puerile mean anyway?

Joe

Basically, a posh term for 'childish'. And I consider myself to be Victor Mature.

Bad Manners.

Special Brew.

I work in Ashington now Denz if that was a dig at me!!

As if I'd be that puerile!

Around the time of the Inland Revenue data discs loss, Jeremy Clarkson published his bank account details in the Sun, along with the name of his bank and sort code.

He was convinced that people would only be able to put money into his account with these details - however, someone's managed to set up a direct debit taking £500 out of his account. HERE

I reckon it had to be an inside job, that`s the only way it could have happened..isn`t it?

Anyone would think Clarkson was some sort of self-publicist. I bet he regrets it now.

I really want a nose job, have been thinking that way for ages. Dont know if I would do it unless money was no object, after all there are so many other things to spend money on. Its different for everyone, and I think everyone feels different about trying it out.

I'd gladly rearrange your face for you.

Jeremy Beadle's funeral is being filmed for a special edition of 'You've Been Flamed'.

Spandau

Ballet

Doughnut-punchers in tights.