Denzel

Aye, vicious buggers the lot of them.

Well I for one have every faith in CK's ability to 'get jiggy with it' over the festive period.

An observation which is sure to encourage comment from the fairer sex.

Indeed, his 'methods' leave a lot to be desired in this enlightened age.

Yep, about time the Old Bill carried guns, too many radgies on the loose these days.

Got me bang to rights there guv'nor.

Ah, you are familiar with the Colonel's 'technique' then?

How dare you sir! Bedlington is a veritable social hotbed. The Front Street is awash with blue-chip retailers, warm and welcoming pubs and some of the finest restaurants this side of The Tiber.

Hmmm some 'What The Butler Saw-style' bathing shenanigans eh?!

It's like the return of a long-lost family member. Hello to all, but where is NorthUm?

I do hope you are not implying that Bedlington is a tad on the dull side?!

'Hello, RSPCA, I'm ringing about a nursery in Northumberland. And bring the NSPCC too....'

Must admit I had a belting day there on Sunday, to celebrate a rather fine Christening. Alcohol was both inexpensive yet also of reasonable quality, whilst the buffet seemed to go down a treat. The fella sat behind me tucking into the Chicken Kiev and chips also seemd to be enjoying his Epicurean delight, so hats off to the staff. Unfortunately there was a high number of middle-aged men in rather unfetching tank-tops (Ashworth, Taylor Made, Sunderland of Scotland et al) which took some of the sheen of an otherwide excellent day out. Finally, young boys should, in no circumstances, dress like golfers. It's just not right.

The safe option then.

So you should, bliddy malingerer.

Ah Moscardini's! Ciao pompinaro!

That's living alright.

I can't say the time brouhaha has impinged on my enjoyment of this site in any way.

Thanks you gin-soaked old duffer for a fine afternoon of drinking and merriment. I trust when I left you in The North that you bothered those lasses sufficiently enough for them to tell you to sling your hook. Or words to that effect.

How about a ban on signatures with glaring spelling mistakes?

If you want to be healthy then DON'T GO TO A SODDING PUB! Sit in the house and eat falafel and tofu, washed down with water out of a bottle.

Unfortunately Bedlington opted out of 'self rule' (I mean the term in its' loosest possible sense) in the late 70's, and became part of Wansbeck. This means that we now operate under the remit of Ashington (Charlton brothers bla, bla, bla). Come year end, any budget that is left goes to Ashington or Newbiggin.

Move house then. Not being flippant, just logical.

I've just been to Moby's for a pizza and two of our finest were in there ordering chips with miscellaneous deep fried comestibles. It's like 1984.

Why didn't you go the the Spar in the first place?