Cympil

An Irishman wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test. "Here is your first question", the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9." "Without numbers?" The Irishman says, "Dat is easy." And proceeds to draw three trees. "What's this?" the boss asks? "Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine," says the Irishman. "Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99." The Irishman stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. "Ere you go." The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?" "Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99." The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Irishman, so he says, "All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100." The Irishman stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Ere you go. One hundred." The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!" The Irishman leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, "A little dog come along and crap by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, which makes one hundred. So, when do I start?"

Look at your photo :lol:

I suppose it all depends on which 25 year old you`ve got the brains of

You beat me..i`m just befuddled

Does he ever? :lol: :lol:

:lol: :lol: Wot

Then when he finally gets to the next pub,the lasses get treated to his seduction techniques See "Seduction"

Aye,but when CK needs a pint his little legs go twice as fast Watch "Ride The Pony" to see what i mean CK In A Hurry :lol:

I have managed to get hold of some hands-free kits for mobile phones and I wondered if you might like one. I got them for free, so it won't cost you anything either. The beauty of these kits is that they are compatible with any mobile phone and one size fits all. If you are interested just let me know how many you want. If you're interested then I've managed to get hold of a photo of one of these kits being used .... Click HERE to see it

Indicators - Die Blinkenleiten Tickentocken Bonnet - Die Pullnob und knucklechopper Exhaust - Der Spitzenpoppenbangentuben Clutch - Die Kulink mit schlippen und schaken Puncture - Die Phlatt mit Bludy!*!@#en Learner - Die twatte mit ellplatz Estate Car - Der Bagmerroon furschagginkinauto Parking Meter - Der Tennerpinscher und Klockenqweer Windscreen Wiper - Der Flippenflappen muckenschpredder Footbrake - Der Edbangeronwindschreen Stoppenquick Gear Lever - Bigenschticken fur Kangarooschtoppen Breathalyser - Die Puffitintem fur Pistenarsen Rear View Mirror - Der Yokhunter Tucklosen Seat Belt - Der Klunkinklikker Frauleintrapper Headlights - Das Dipperenderdazzlubastad Exhaust - Der Kaffenundschpitpolluter Highway Code - Der Wipenfurarsen Fog Warning - Die Puttenfootdownen und fukkit Traffic Jam - Die Bluddifukkinnk Dammundblast Rear Seat - Der Schpringentester mit Fraulein Tyres - Flahttfarts Backfire - Der Lowdenbangenmekkenjumpen Juggernaut - Der Fukkengrett Trucken Accident - Der Bledinmess Garage - Der heiway Robberung Cyclist - Der pedallpushinink Pillocken Skid - Der Banannan Waltzen Double White Lines - Overtaken und Krunchen Near Accident - Der Fuken ner Schittenselfen :lol:

Letters To Islington Council`s Housing Department I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my !*!@# off. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage. Their 18 year old son is continuously banging his balls against my fence. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the roof of the outside toilet and I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off. The lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand? I am writing on behalf of my sink which is coming away from the wall. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant. I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen. Can you please tell me when the repairs will be done as my wife is about to become an expectant mother. I am still having trouble with smoke in my built-in drawers. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now it is in three pieces. Would you please send a man to repair my sprout. I am an old age pensioner and need it straight away. I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6am his !*!@# wakes me up and it's getting too much. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third so will you please send someone around to do something about it. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would be pleased if you could do something about the noise made by the man I have on top of me every night. Please send a man with clean tools to finish the job and satisfy the wife. I have had the Clerk of the Works down on the floor six times, but still have no satisfaction. We are getting married in September and would like it in the garden before we move into the house. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broken and we can't get BBC2.

:lol:

:lol:

Mid 20`s..is that the 1920`s you`re talking about

That`s a canny hike when your drunk i bet

The first one was the best too..oh well,it`ll be repeated sometime. It`s the last one next week,wonder where they`re staying?

Yes Saturday night Don`t know,didn`t hang around to find out

Have you been watching it Fourgee?

That Catalogue Clearance site has a few bargains on in the branded section..i might give it a go Play.Com was in a drop down list on the Paypal site yesterday so i went and bought a cd to find out if they took Paypal, there wasn`t any mention of them accepting Paypal on their site anywhere and sure enough when i went to pay for it the only option was using a credit/debit card..still got it though

Does Tesco accept paypal like?

They would have got their eyes opened in the Dom Turns out they stayed at Chillingham Castle last night,they were chuffed when they seen a photo of Prince Phillip on the mantlepiece They keep telling anyone that`ll listen that he`s from Tanna where they live..

The?? What?

That would explain it..for one moment i thought it was me that was missing something

I`m off to watch the second programme in the series,it`s on at 9 on E4 i think..watch it and see what you think..they are playing bingo tonight and going out clubbing Excellent TV

Nowt wrong with Aussies..they just all look like Nolene Burke outta Prisoner Cell Block H