Police Survey

[Malcolm Robinson]

Our new Police Commissioner wants our views on policing priorities.

There is a short survey to complete here.

www.surveymonkey.com/s/northumbria_pcc

[Keith Scantlebury]

Our new Police Commissioner wants our views on policing priorities.

There is a short survey to complete here.

www.surveymonkey.com/s/northumbria_pcc

I've filled it in. The final section (demographic information ) what a complete and utter load of TOSH !! I think the only relevance was Q20 what area do you live in ? the others are just balony. Crime is Crime, it does not matter if you are :- black / white, straight / gay / transexual / trans gender, old /young , able bodied or diasabled. I made a point in my responses that the police are pussyfooting too much arround the above instead of going straight out and nicking those who THEY KNOW have committed the crimes, and what do they dedicate the last page to............... I'm thinking the police are too frightened to make some arrests in case they are prosecuted themselves for contravening the rights of the above.

[Symptoms]

Keith, just make sure your car is taxed, insured and has a MOT. I reckon you'll be punished by the Peelers for holding those views. Just imagine the scene:

Keith is driving his Range Rover down Front Street, blue lights, "get out of the car Sla* (Slag)", "Tazer him Sarg - he's that cu*t who rubbished us in the boss's survey". "Yes your Honour, I thought he was reaching for a shooter and had to take him down", "good work Officers", "prisoner in the dock I sentence you to 6 months for expressing your views openly in Bedlington - take him down".

Remember, they know where we all live; they DO know where most of our computers are so they can come for us.

Edited January 18, 2013 by Symptoms

[Keith Scantlebury]

Keith, just make sure your car is taxed, insured and has a MOT. I reckon you'll be punished by the Peelers for holding those views. Just imagine the scene:

Keith is driving his Range Rover down Front Street, blue lights, "get out of the car Sla* (Slag)", "Tazer him Sarg - he's that cu*t who rubbished us in the boss's survey". "Yes your Honour, I thought he was reaching for a shooter and had to take him down", "good work Officers", "prisoner in the dock I sentence you to 6 months for expressing your views openly in Bedlington - take him down".

Remember, they know where we all live; they DO know where most of our computers are so they can come for us.

shaking in my posh frock

[Malcolm Robinson]

It's OK Keef1, Sym lives in some Orwellian nightmare where the rich control Big Brother.

Errr flipping heck that's right isn't it?

[keith lockey]

Keith, I thought you were always helping the police with their enquiries.

[Symptoms]

Just to remind folks here that if your computer is connected to the outside world by copper wire (or a strand of glass fibre*) you can be found. Oh, and don't think you're safe doing it via wireless at home.

*has Bedders been cabled for fibre yet or is it all still copper?

[Symptoms]

So as Keith gets lifted the Peelers notice the frock and he gets stuck with an additional charge of 'going equipped for importuning' and ends up on the S_x R_gister*

*Please note that I didn't spell out this term in case somebody Googled "Keith" and found a reference to the S_x R_gister. For any Googlers arriving here all the above is a joke and none of it's true.

[Keith Scantlebury]

So as Keith gets lifted the Peelers notice the frock and he gets stuck with an additional charge of 'going equipped for importuning' and ends up on the S_x R_gister*

*Please note that I didn't spell out this term in case somebody Googled "Keith" and found a reference to the S_x R_gister. For any Googlers arriving here all the above is a joke and none of it's true.

Call me Brenda, its after 8 and the doors are locked

[Keith Scantlebury]

Keith, I thought you were always helping the police with their enquiries.

They kept quizzing me ........................... and I kept losing

[keith lockey]

They kept quizzing me ........................... and I kept losing

I know, they have some silly quiz questions...."Where were you on the night of...?"

[Symptoms]

This is all very well but Keith hasn't denied ownership of a Range Rover.

[Keith Scantlebury]

This is all very well but Keith hasn't denied ownership of a Range Rover.

got a rover

[Symptoms]

Yeh, but what sort of Rover? A Range Rover?

[Keith Scantlebury]

Nooooooooooooooo ................................. me bently takes up too much room