Contributor Leaderboard

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Aa can mind me Mutha puttin' Wor Auld Chep's bait up,when a was as young as aboot six![characteristically,because of the abscence of any bait-boxes!] The bait sammidges were wrapped in newspaper,and put in a string-tied "sandshoe-bag",which me Mutha wudda med,oot a bit o' aad cloth. Nae flasks....just a bottle of caad tea,in a Muter's pop bottle. A can see him clearly,wi he's pit mack on,[a broon one],bottle o' tea in one side pocket,bait-bag in the other side pocket.[nea biscuits or crisps for a snack!!] But earlier than that,[mebbe aboot 2 1/2-3 yrs aad,] a can clearly mind him lifting me on top of a big hessian sack of coal,which was draped owa thi cross-bar of his aad pit bike,wi him pushin' it up thi back of Storey's Buildings,and which he had picked of the Low-Pit heap at Choppington.[which a lot of pitmen did in them days,before concessionary coal was agreed upon...not "FREE" as folk always used to grouch about,but in lieu of a reduced wage,and so forming part of a wage in kind...[like a company car].When we got in the hoose,he aalwis had a jam sammidge from he's bait,wad he kept ..."fo' thi bairn.."!] So when aa started at thi pit,[High Pit]aa had me bait-bag as weel! Noo,cloth bait-bags were aal reet........until ye came ootbye,sowkin' wet....up ti thi eyes o' clarts,absoloutely buggaad.....,and when ye went ti get ya bait oot ya "Bait-bag" [ex-army gas-mask satchel!],and a haaf-duzzen fat mice jumped oot in aal directions,it wasn't sae funny! Noo,mice or nae mice,when aa wuz starving,the mice were lucky ti escape!..me bait wud hae aal the corners of the sammidges chewed away,as they dae,like,but aal a did was yank the chewed bits off and hoy it doon for thi poor little hungry mites!,and eat the rest!!! From me starting the pit thi forst day,a tuk six sammidges,["Wonderloaf"!],wi butter and banana ,and a spoon o' sugar sprinkled owa each sammidge. After a few weeks of really hard work,[for a 15yr aad kid stryght oot' o' skyeull!],a was asking me Mutha ti put a cupple extra in. This went on owa a few mair weeks,till a was tekkin' FOWTEEN banana n sugar sammidges,and walloping thim aal doon in thi 20 minutes bait-time we were allowed! Owld-timers used ti say,"Wilma, wheor thi hell are ye gaana put aal them bugga's?!...and a used ti just laugh,and say,"Just waatch!". Some o' them wud hae TWO sammidges,some fower,usually jam n breed,or if it was a Sunday neet or Monday ,they wud hae drippin' sammidges,wi a ton o' salt on!! Noo doon thi pit,tha's nae toilets or fancy wesh-basins,so yi get ya bait wi clarty hands,weshed in a clarty black swalley o' waata,wheor man and horse wudda been gettin a diddle in aal day lang![..and hae yi seen hoo much waata a horse diddles?!!!] After some blokes had tha baits,they wud say,"whey aam away forra sh.....e if Joe Barrat waants ti knaa wheor aam is! They wud usually gaan doon an aad worked-oot roadway...oot thi way of thi men gettin' tha baits,still. But some blokes delighted in gaanin doon thi roadway,on thi ootbye side o' ye,so ye got aal the foul reek.. Other blokes,[usually heavy drinkers],couldn't wait ti craal off the face,which was aboot 2foot 3 inches high,so they wud cock tha hint-end in between thi timbers,and just gaan ti thi toilet there!,sutimes happin it up wi a shuul-ful o' duff.[smaal fine coals]. NOO,when ye were craalin doon the fyess,yi mite unwittingly find the muck by puttin ye hands and thi whole of ya body in it,cos in a low seam ya craalin like a snake.! After a cupple of days,when mrs sh....tflea cums alang,lukkin fo' a nest ti lay two million eggs in,she is as happy as a lark!! When YE put ya hands in a well-fermented nest of writhing swirling maggots,the muck turns ti a liquidy jelly-like sludge...disgusting!! When aal thi little kids turn inti big kids,bingo......ya cap-lamps attract them like glue!!.....and thi little buggaas bite like hell! Will continue,LBJ crying at me legs here pitifully!!

It's all this new-fangled technology, Eggy! It was much better with photo albums and sticky tape.