mercuryg

Just because you haven't been abducted and probed doesn'tmean you can take the mickey! I have an interest in the unusual, and find some of the complete crackpots who simply won't look at the logical explanation fascinating. One post, for example, featured a picture of what was clearly a kite over the sea. Mr T Wood, however, immediately posts: 'looks like an inter-dimensional craft; anyone got a better suggestion?' or such like. It's fun ridiculing them.

I like this one - http://www.uk-ufo.co.uk/ - have a look at some of the replies from 'T. Wood'.

I am a frequent visitor to a UFO forum (yes, yes, I know, but I have an interest in these things) and am quite certain that one regular contributor there would tell you, quite seriously, that you have been visited by inter-dimensional beings.

Happy Birthday Keith; Kylie says she'll be over for tea.

Indeed; while Keith has been fine tuning the script I have been scouting for locations. And sampling the beer in said locations. (Nice pint of Grainger Ale at the Red Lion; That's another free pint please, Mark the Manager).

Very true! In fact, a friend of mine spent a day on set, on account of the fact he rented a skip to them for one scene and they thought they might need his advice! (true story.......)

And wrote some quite stunning songs.....

Shouldn't this thread be 'Black Eyes Bedlington'?

I gave up the pixie bit years ago, it was becoming so old hat. I now imbibe in several pints of Hobgoblin (now a permanent fixture at the Red Lion, note, and well worth a try (that plug cost you a pint, Mark the Manager)) and ride naked down the street on a unicycle.

No problem; there's a two quid sub.

There is something in this; see, Table 25, I am convinced, is a portal to another dimension. You can tell because, if you are to walk into the Red Lion at around nine o'clock on a weekday morning, it is entirely occupied by beings who are clearly from a different world. These are creatures who can indulge in strong lager, real ale and double brandies from 9am, and still be there at three. Then, in an instant, they're gone, just like that. Believe me, I've witnessed it. It is remarkable.

Keith, I would prefer someone more distinguished; I have been told I bear a striking resemblance to both Richard Gere and Charles Hawtrey.

Well Keith, you are quite right, but I must confess to having had to use a garden spade rather than a trowel. I have three tunnels on the go:'Tom' connects the Lion to the Wharton, and is quite advanced; 'Dick' is the planned route from the Lion to the Blue Bell, but may have to be abandoned as we are not sure if there is any beer in the 'Bell, and 'Harry' is a complex system that will hopefully link the Sun Inn, Market Tavern and Grapes to my headquarters at Table 25, the Red Lion. It's dirty work, but someone's got to do it.

So, this Jupiter, it's a God, right, up there in the sky?

Ryan! As in Saving Private, Von's Express, and Daughter.

Monroe?

Funny; I thought Jupiter was bigger than the moon. Clearly not. I've been misled all my life.

Was that Jupiter 'next to' the moon last night?

They were all once called Bob?

I can think of many people who would be happy, at times, to take cash for their kids........

I've been told the brewery is placing someone in today on a temporary basis.

But Adam, is it any surprise? Why do we need an elected police commissioner, and were we asked if we wanted one? It's just another highly paid paper pushing job that is completely unnecessary.

A man takes his Rottweiller to the vet. 'My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?' 'Well,' says the vet, 'let's have a look at him.' and he picks up the dog and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, 'I'm going to have to put him down.' 'What? --- because he's cross-eyed?' 'No, because he's really, really, heavy' Doc, I can't stop singing: 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.' Doc says, 'That sounds like the Tom Jones Syndrome. ' 'Is it common, doc?' 'Well, it's not unusual.' Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other 'Your round.' The second one replies, 'So are you, you fat bxxxxxxd!'

A horse.............

Malcolm, I wasn't being facetious, I hope you understand! Agreed on all points.