mercuryg

Funny; I thought Jupiter was bigger than the moon. Clearly not. I've been misled all my life.

Was that Jupiter 'next to' the moon last night?

They were all once called Bob?

I can think of many people who would be happy, at times, to take cash for their kids........

I've been told the brewery is placing someone in today on a temporary basis.

But Adam, is it any surprise? Why do we need an elected police commissioner, and were we asked if we wanted one? It's just another highly paid paper pushing job that is completely unnecessary.

A man takes his Rottweiller to the vet. 'My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?' 'Well,' says the vet, 'let's have a look at him.' and he picks up the dog and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, 'I'm going to have to put him down.' 'What? --- because he's cross-eyed?' 'No, because he's really, really, heavy' Doc, I can't stop singing: 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.' Doc says, 'That sounds like the Tom Jones Syndrome. ' 'Is it common, doc?' 'Well, it's not unusual.' Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other 'Your round.' The second one replies, 'So are you, you fat bxxxxxxd!'

A horse.............

Malcolm, I wasn't being facetious, I hope you understand! Agreed on all points.

Malcolm, they must really love you..........

What are you taking?

No, Keith, just no. Mind you, a terrible thing happened to me the other day. I was banned from the swimming baths. The S fell off my Speedos.

never heard of it!!!

Add Foxy to the mix and we look like a music hall trio.

I had to subtract an Iguana to reach 17.

me? Sucking up? I'm simply stating the facts as I know them! You're just jealous!

It is A Clockwork Orange, from which Heaven 17 took their name. The films - middle one is 7 Brides for 7 Brothers, the third is 5 Easy Pieces, but the first is somethign of a guess using a list: is if Five Graves to Cairo?

Reading through this thread has kept me amused: the advertising comments reminded me of a kitchen implement I once saw, an electric carving knife, which carried the warning on the back : "NOT SUITABLE FOR THE OTHER USE".

I've got it! They've all looked after Kate Bush's Iguana!

No Malcolm, you know very well there is only one MercuryG. Many would say that is a blessing, some (lovely people) wish there were more of us, but no, there is only one me. As for the topic, may I take this opportunity to remind you that the Red Lion's latest beer festival begins today so, ditch your John Smith's and imbibe in a variety of guest real ales. You may even wish to grow the requisite beard, and wear a chunky jumper - as real ale drinkers are wont to do!

Of course!

She did - her crime-fighting ability being among them, of course.

I went wrong cos I thought the first one was Kate Jackson. I have Kate on the brain.

Hello Tony, so do I!Are we acquainted?

Aaaah, I get it now! GGG is an aerial fanatic, then.........