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Brian Cross

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Everything posted by Brian Cross

  1. An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his advice in reviving her husband's libido. 'What about trying Viagra?' asked the doctor? 'Not a chance', she said. 'He won't even take an aspirin.' 'Not a problem,' replied the doctor. 'Give him an 'Irish Viagra'. It's when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee, he won't even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went.' A week later when she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to her progress. The poor dear exclaimed, 'Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T'was horrid!... Just terrible, doctor!' 'Really? .......What happened?' asked the doctor. 'Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the effect was almost immediate. He jumped straight up, with a twinkle in his eye and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arm, he sent me cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there passionately on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!' 'Why so terrible?' asked the doctor, 'Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn't good?' '!*!@# jaysus, 'twas the best sex I've had in 25 years! But sure as I'm sittin here, I'll never be able to show me face in 'McDonalds' again!
  2. One hot summer day, a blonde came to town with her dog, tied it under the shade of a tree, and headed into a restaurant for something cold to drink. Twenty minutes later, a policeman entered the restaurant and asked, 'Who owns the dog tied under that tree outside?' The blonde said it was hers. 'Your dog seems to be in heat,' the officer said. The blonde replied, 'No way. She's cool 'cause she's tied up under that shade tree.' The policeman said, 'No! You don't understand. Your dog needs to be bred.' 'No way,' said the blonde. 'My dog doesn't need bread. She isn't hungry 'cause I fed her this morning.' The exasperated policeman said, 'NO! You don't understand. Your dog wants to have sex!' (You gotta love this) .... The blonde looked at the cop and said, 'Well, go ahead. I always wanted a police dog.'
  3. That looks very picturesque Vic are you glad ?
  4. And what were they up to .
  5. Yes Vic 1961 sounds good the Vulcan was a great aircraft and it was good to see it fly over us, Wollongong is a great city i have not been back there for a few years now...........cheers Vic
  6. A long time ago i can remember a Vulcan flying over our home in Wollongong N.S.W, when we lived there, it was on a non stop flight around the world i can't remember the year i know i was fairly young at the time...good memory
  7. Hi Claire......Where is the Toby carvery located...
  8. I thought i had problems at my end over here ...glad its sorted...
  9. Whats does the menu have on it I might try it when we come back next year.cheers Denzel.
  10. Wish we had him here too (ya all)
  11. We call ours Vegemite Probably same thing eh ?
  12. Hi Doglover Believe me i am not of the younger generation but the atmosphere in the bank top was bad ........
  13. Does it swing past Hervey Bay ?
  14. The last time i was in the Bank Top it was areal *hit hole couldn't wait to get out ........so i can understand it closing..
  15. ............ You could be right Monsta but maybe not ...i am optimistic but then i dunno
  16. the Dutch are really bad losers Yes .........No what do you think can we start a poll please ?
  17. Viva Espana........
  18. unfortunately I think the Germans will win,the Aussies had no chance with the dutch coach Pim verbeek That is a looser head ?
  19. Come on Guys wazdooin wazdooin eh!
  20. Sounds logical to me Vic but will the old guard adopt it .........
  21. They seem to have a fear of the Germans when they play them i am glad our forebears didn't have the same problem during the wars ..........
  22. Well they have done it again why does England do so badly against the Germans 4-1 disgusting....
  23. Check where the clothes are made Monsta..
  24. Lets think ....pease pud the pies,stotties,stews,soups,you get what i mean.
  25. The rellies have gone back and i miss them already or is it just the Geordie food
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